Page 76 of Never Let Go

The photographer had arrived, and he took some shots of us before he moved into place to capture the final touches of Ashley’s makeup being applied. After that, we helped our bride get into her dress, and just then, the song I’d added to the playlist came on and I grinned.

The opening bars of Going to the Chapel by the Dixie Cups started playing and Ashley squealed. “This is so perfect.”

My eyes met hers in the mirror and I inclined my head when she shot me a questioning look, but we didn’t speak. She smiled radiantly at me and then presented her back to her mom and sister to lace up the dress.

The rest of the day was a complete whirlwind. We smiled for so many pictures that my cheeks hurt. During the ceremony, I pretended that the tears were only about how happy I was for Ashley, but I shed a few for myself too.

The more I thought about it, the more I was starting to realize that she was right. I did hold people to exceptionally high standards, but it wasn’t like I was unforgiving. I just didn’t like to mess up. As the girl who had been the nerd all through school and college, I’d grown so accustomed to being the butt of jokes that I’d promised myself going into adulthood that I would never allow it to happen again.

Now, I was wondering if that had made me too rigid. If perhaps I’d overreacted at the café that night. I didn’t feel like I had, but it was a possibility I had to consider.

Once they were pronounced husband and wife, Chase dipped Ashley down low and they kissed. More tears flowed down my cheeks and I couldn’t stop them. I wanted what they had so damn bad.

The companionship and camaraderie. A best friend to go through life with who understood me better than anyone else. A lover I could spend days in bed with, exploring his body until I knew it as well as I did my own. A man who wanted to start a family with me and face those challenges right there at my side.

I’d thought I found my person and now I wasn’t sure I ever would. None of this was ever going to happen for me and it broke my heart all over again.

I sucked it up, though. Smiling and cheering along with everyone else, I waited for them with the rest of the guests when they left the chapel. Then I chatted to some people while the bride and groom went to have more pictures taken. Through it all, I kept a smile on my face to hide my battered heart.

It was exhausting, but since I would do anything for Ashley, it wasn’t that bad. Later on, at the reception, once the others were dancing and having a good time, I finally allowed myself to drop the act for a minute.

Ashley and Chase were at the bar with their families, completely engrossed in conversation. The other bridesmaids were all on the dance floor with their dates, and everyone else I knew well enough to speak to was otherwise occupied.

I figured it was a safe time to sit at my table and just take a minute to feel the pain brought on by the realization that all my daydreaming about having found the one I was going to do this with had been for naught. All my dreams and fantasies were going to remain just that, and I had to come to terms with it.

As I watched one of the bridesmaids being spun around the dance floor by her husband, a white rose suddenly dropped on the table in front of me. My gaze jerked up and I was ready to tell whoever had done it that it was way too soon for the white-rose thing, but as I looked up, I found myself staring right into Foster’s green eyes.

My heart seized in my chest. Confusion spiraled through me, and I wondered what he was doing here. And just why the hell he was wearing a tux.

37

FOSTER

I had never been a romantic. Hearts, flowers, and poetry had never done it for me, and honestly, I was a little clueless about this kind of thing. It was why I’d asked for Shelby’s help in the first place way back when.

Upon Hope’s insistence, however, I was trying really hard. I was wearing a tuxedo she’d helped me choose. I was at the wedding. I’d brought the rose.

Now all I needed to do was get the girl.

Unfortunately, no one had told me how to do that. The rest of it, sure. Make the grand gesture, Foster. Get dressed up, Foster. Take the rose, Foster. It’ll be so romantic.

From here on out though, I was on my own and really wishing they’d given me more. Ashley was in on it and waiting for my signal, but beyond that, it was all on me.

Shelby’s blue eyes filled with tears. She stared up at me, looking like a beautiful, sad fallen angel who’d had her wings clipped. I felt terrible knowing I was responsible for those tears. That it was me who had made her look that way.

Well, me and Hope, but mostly me. Apparently.

Drawing in a deep breath, I kept my gaze fixed on hers, willing to do anything to stop her crying. “Would you like to dance?”

As the words came out of my mouth, I realized I probably should’ve asked her if she’d do me the honor of dancing with me, but again, I sucked at this stuff. I extended my hand toward her, holding it steady. She cocked her head and stared at it like she was about to smack it away.

“I think I know what happened that night,” I said when it became obvious she wasn’t just going to give in. “It took me a while to figure it out, but I think I have, and I can explain. I swear to you on everything that I hold dear in this world that it wasn’t what you thought.”

A tiny crease appeared between her eyebrows and she scoffed, but she didn’t look away. She also didn’t smack my hand, so there was that. “I’m sorry about what happened back in college. The truth is that the date back then was meant for you, but I misread the signs and asked that other girl at the last minute because I thought I was about to make a fool of myself.”

“So you made a fool of me instead?” She narrowed her eyes at me. “You’re not really helping your case here, Foster.”

“No, I know.” I exhaled harshly, my hand still waiting for hers. I tried again. “The thing is, I didn’t mean to make you feel like a fool. In fact, I didn’t think you’d care at all and I kept thinking that you didn’t until Hope brought it to my attention the day after the reveal date that you probably really did.”