Page 100 of Last First Date

I chuckled. “I highly doubt I’m entering celebrity territory, but it’s a fun ride for now. I’m just soaking it all in and enjoying the support from everyone.”

“Good. You need to embrace it, ride the wave,” Meredith said seriously. “You deserve the spotlight.”

“But don’t forget about us,” Janie teased, faux pouting. “When you’re sipping champagne and rubbing shoulders with A-list celebrities in Hollywood, remember who stuck by you and pushed you to go for it.”

I laughed, shaking my head. “You guys are ridiculous, and I’d never forget about you.”

“See that you don’t.” Janie winked.

“Hey, as long as I’m invited to the glamorous parties, I’m okay,” Meredith chimed in.

“You’ll be my plus-one,” I promised with a grin.

Meredith’s phone buzzed and she glanced at the screen before standing. “Alright, ladies, as much as I’d love to hear more about Waverly’s brush with fame, I have to go. We have to do this again soon. Don’t forget the little people.”

“Very funny,” I said. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here.”

Janie and I had another drink before we left. Walking out of the bar into the cool night air, I thought about what they said about Knox. The situation with Knox was awkward. The last few days at work were like taking a giant step back in time to the first couple of weeks we worked together. He threw himself into a flurry of events, always busy with phone calls or meetings. We didn’t talk. Our communication dwindled to the exchange of emails. It was a stark contrast to the warmth and closeness we had experienced in New York.

I found myself longing for the easy banter. I missed the effortless connection we had shared. We didn’t talk. He barely made eye contact with me. He had resorted to emails. It was just like before. His emails were filled with tasks, directives, and a professional tone that left me frustrated and aching for the man I got close to. It was as if the New York magic had dissipated, leaving behind a void that I couldn’t quite comprehend.

When I got home, I wasn’t quite ready for bed. I checked my email, something I did often before bed, just to give myself a head start on the morning. I had an email from Knox, which surprised me. I would have thought he would be out or doing something other than working on a weekend.

Apparently, he was taking this work thing seriously. He got a taste of success in New York and seemed determined to keep it up.

I stared at the screen with disappointment. There was nothing personal in the email. It was a long list of things that he wanted done.

I sighed, my fingers hovering over the keyboard before finally typing a polite reply, outlining the steps I would take to complete the tasks. By the time I was finished writing, it was well past midnight. I shut the laptop with a weary sigh and decided to finally go to bed.

I was sad that the relationship with Knox was over before it started. I didn’t know how I was going to work alongside him every day and not think about the special moments we shared. The offers from various agencies to model for them were tempting, but I realized it wasn’t the allure of the money or fame that I loved the most about the modeling thing. It was the way Knox looked at me when I was on that runway. I only wanted his eyes on my body.

42

KNOX

Isat at my desk, a warm cup of coffee in hand as I stared at the blinking cursor on the screen. Emails to Waverly had become my only line of communication. We hadn’t spoken for days, and it was something that was eating away at me. Work consumed my waking hours, but she consumed my thoughts. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her. Sometimes I pictured her naked and other times I imagined her in that sexy red lingerie. It was like a sickness. I couldn’t stop thinking about her.

I had sent her another list of things that she needed to accomplish, a list that seemed too long even for me. It wasn’t intentional. I wasn’t trying to drive her away. In fact, it was quite the opposite. I found myself needing an excuse, any excuse, to keep talking to her without actually talking to her about anything that truly mattered.

There was a persistent ache that clung to me like an unwelcome shadow since our return. She was a constant presence in my mind that defied reason and logic. It was a problem. I grappled with the realization that I wanted more than just a fleeting affair with my assistant. I wanted her by my side. I didn’t know how to go about expressing that.

The weight of the situation settled in as I found myself slipping back into the moody, sulky version of myself. Work became a refuge, a distraction from the internal turmoil that threatened to consume me. The emails filled with tasks and the events I threw myself into? They were all desperate attempts to bury the undeniable truth that lingered in the background.

I had fallen in love.

Could I really be in love if it was one-sided and a secret? I asked myself this question over and over, as if by sheer repetition I could will unnecessary feelings away. The emotions were foreign and left me feeling twisted up inside.

The affair we had embarked on in New York had ignited something within me, something that transcended the boundaries of a casual fling. I knew it was wrong, a breach of professional ethics, but the heart rarely adhered to the rules of reason. It happened, and even though I knew it was wrong, I didn’t regret it.

I was in the midst of a spiral when my office door opened. Waverly walked in with a cup of coffee. I could smell the caffeine from where I sat. My body recognized it and got jittery at the thought of a fresh cup.

“I figured you needed a refresher,” she said.

I pushed aside the lukewarm cup. “It’s like you read my mind.”

“It’s not hard,” she said, smiling. “You are a caffeine fiend. If I show up with a fresh cup at least every two hours, you will stay alive.”

“Thanks for watching out for me.”