Page 113 of Hometown Hottie

He shook his head. “Look, you’re my little sister and I don’t want you to get hurt. That part remains true, but there is some stuff you don’t know yet and I want to tell you about it.”

“Okay,” I said slowly, dragging out the words. “What is it?”

He inhaled so deeply that his chest rose. He kept it in for a moment before releasing it and swiping his tongue across his lips. “I busted my ass to make sure you still had a chance to chase your dreams and I know how hard it is to give those up. Hell, I did it and I’ve always wondered what I could’ve been, but I’ve never regretted the choice I made.”

“You didn’t? It sure seems like you regret every day.”

“I don’t. That’s not regret, Nova. It’s worry, and stress, and the what ifs taking control, but it’s not regret. It can never be regret. Not when I know that I did the right thing by staying and helping to keep this place afloat while you went to college.”

“Would you have stayed if it hadn’t been for me?” I asked, needing to know if I was the reason he’d abandoned his dreams. It was suddenly sounding like I was.

Ryan nodded and the squeezing sensation in my chest receded.

“Dad hasn’t been able to do it all for a long time, Nova. Before we were old enough to help, he had Gramps. Then he died and we were there. It’s too much for one person. I don’t think I’d ever have been able to leave him to deal with it all alone. This place means just as much to me as it does to you.”

Guilt I hadn’t even realized I’d been carrying around lifted off my shoulders and I inhaled deeply, feeling like even my lungs were suddenly expanding more easily. A smile broke out across my face and I bumped my shoulder into his.

“I guess that really is what we both want for our futures, then. To be tied to this place. For a second there, I thought maybe you wanted to leave.”

He chuckled. “Me? Never. Maybe eventually, I’ll go exploring for a bit, but this will always be home. That also circles us back to what I originally wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh, that wasn’t it?”

“It was part of it, but the other part is about Carson,” he said. When I opened my mouth to tell him again that I didn’t want to fight, he arched an eyebrow at me in warning. “Just hear me out.”

“Fine.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt and I’m worried that Carson will up and leave again,” he said, gaze fixed on mine. “I remember how hurt you were the first time, and I know you like to pretend that it didn’t hurt because you always knew he would be going back to college after that summer, but it broke your heart when he left.”

I sniffed. “Only because you drove him away before the summer was even over. I still had two more weeks with him.”

“I knew he was in line to get drafted,” Ryan said with a gravity in his voice I hadn’t been expecting. “When I drove him away, I did it knowing that he had a real shot, Nova. I overheard a conversation between the coaches one day. It happened by accident, but I couldn’t unhear what I’d heard and I knew the NFL people had been sniffing around him.”

My eyes widened. “Do you really think that’s an excuse? Everyone knew.”

“You’re not listening to me,” he said urgently. “This wasn’t just about knowing that he had the talent to make it. I knew that they were already looking at him and I’d seen the way he looked at you. I’m not blind. I knew you two had feelings for each other long before I caught you kissing, and the way he looked at you?”

Ryan sighed before he refocused on me. “He’d have given it all up to be with you, Nova. I couldn’t let that happen to him, or to you, for that matter. So I did what I had to do to separate you, thinking that it was the right thing to do, and not only because I thought it was creepy my baby sister was hooking up with a dude in college.”

My heart stammered, but as I stared back at him, I knew that this was the truth. Him not wanting us to be together back then had run much deeper than I’d thought, and honestly, I was suddenly grateful to him for doing it. I’d been mad at him for such a long time, and all the while, he’d done it so Carson wouldn’t have given up his dreams for me, a fact that I’d never have been able to live with if I’d ever found out.

“Thank you for finally being honest with me,” I said softly, my voice and my breath stolen by the weight of his revelation. “What about now, though? You don’t want us to be together now either, but I’m going to be with him, Ryan. I need you to be okay with that. We’ve both been miserable for long enough.”

He let out a harsh exhale before he nodded. “Yeah, I know, but what if he leaves again? What if another opportunity comes along? A guy like that has to be getting a lot of offers to do a lot of different things, and none of those opportunities will be in Silver Springs. He’s the guy who chases his dreams, Nova. He’s got the balls to do it and I don’t want you getting left behind again.”

“I won’t be, but if I am, then that’s on me. At the end of the day, it’s all on me. Whatever happens, positive or negative, I won’t stay in this purgatory just because you’re uncomfortable.”

“It’s not just that I’m uncomfortable, Nova. I’m worried. If he leaves⁠—”

“Then maybe I’ll go with him,” I said firmly. “The only thing tying me down to Silver Springs is the ranch and it sounds like all our problems are going to go away soon anyway, so maybe if Carson chases a new dream, I’ll join him. I’ll go and do some exploring of my own. Would that be the worst thing in the world?”

He stared at me for a long time before he finally shook his head. “No, I guess it won’t be.”

“Exactly.” I reached for his hands, giving them a soft squeeze as I looked him right in the eyes. “I want you to consider this your official invitation to get onboard with me and Carson. It’s time to let go of all these animosities, Ryan. They’re toxic and they’re poisoning you.”

He didn’t say anything, but I took that as a good thing. Since he seemed to understand, I decided to push even further. “You owe Carson an apology if any of us really want to be able to move forward.”

The fire chief showed up before Ryan could respond, climbing out of his bright red SUV with what appeared to be an investigator in tow. My brother and I both climbed off the truck and extended our hands to shake with the officials.