Page 93 of Hometown Hottie

“You’ve been going on dates with him?” I asked disbelievingly. She nodded and I took a huge sip of my whiskey. “Fucking hypocrite. I don’t want to ruin what you guys have got going on, though. I just wish he would see things from my point of view for once.”

She sighed. “I remember what those guys were like in high school. They were a trio. A tripod. I never thought anything would get between them.”

“Neither did I,” I admitted. “Ryan seems to blame Carson for everything, though. It just doesn’t make sense. He’s been bitter ever since they left, but he’s the one who decided to stay.”

Her expression softened and she hesitated before she leaned forward a bit, taking a few more sips of her own drink before she said anything. “I don’t want to defend what he did or what he said to you. Rational or not, he shouldn’t have done it.”

“Preach.”

She chuckled, but there was a deep sadness in her eyes as she stared back at me. “That being said, Carson does carry some of the blame. So does Vance.”

“What do you mean?” I asked slowly, struggling to see where she was coming from. “I know you knew them back then, but I was there, Cass. No one influenced Ryan to turn down that scholarship. Not even our dad.”

“I know, but Carson and Vance went and they left Ryan behind.”

I frowned. “Surely, he knew that was going to happen when he decided against going with them. I mean, were they supposed to take him with them as their mascot? What good would that have done? He wanted to stay here, on the ranch. He didn’t want to leave.”

“Oh, he wanted to,” she countered gently. “He wanted to so bad, but he didn’t feel like he really had a choice. Your family needed him here and he told me that even if he’d gone, he probably wouldn’t have done very well because his heart wouldn’t have been in it.”

My own heart ached with sympathy for my brother. “That’s still not Carson’s fault, though. Or Vance’s.”

“No, but I wasn’t talking about them leaving him behind here when they left. Obviously, they all knew that was going to happen, but Ryan never thought they would forget all about him once they had their fancy lives in the big city.”

“They didn’t, though.” Even as I said it, I knew that wasn’t entirely true. “Did they?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know, but I do know that he hardly ever heard from them. He knows they were busy. So was he. Growing apart is natural under the circumstances, but they also hardly ever made an effort to see him when they were in town. They left him behind in more ways than one, and now they’re back and they just think they can all pick up where they left off?”

For a long minute, I kept quiet, processing everything she was saying and unable to respond. It dawned at me that there really were two sides to this story. “Don’t stop seeing him, Cass.”

She shook her head, that sadness growing even more profound. “I’ll think about it. It kills me to see history repeating itself with those two on one side and Ryan on the other, but that’s no excuse for taking it out on you. For calling you names and refusing to even consider the possibility that Carson could be good for you.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to wrap my head around all the different points of view and emotions tangled up in this. I loved my brother, but I also loved Carson. Carson, who wanted to support me no matter what. Who wanted to stand by me despite the shit he knew he was going to take for it from my brother. Carson, who understood me and made me feel like no one else ever had.

Yet, Ryan was my blood. My family. My only sibling. I couldn’t just ignore that. Once again, I felt like I was at a crossroads. I had to decide whether to follow my heart or to stay true to my blood. It was an impossible decision, and one I had no idea how to make. Especially not now that I was finally starting to understand that things were a hell of a lot more complex than I’d ever realized before.

My mother and even Cassidy had been wrong. I was starting to think that if I chose Carson, Ryan would never get over it. I really would lose my brother, and I just didn’t know if I could live with that. Even if the thought of losing Carson for good might just actually kill me.

Damned if I do, and damned if I don’t. I sighed. Being a grownup really sucks sometimes.Does anyone want my subscription to adulthood?Because I’m pretty sure I’m done with it now.