Page 11 of You Know You Wanna

“I’ll look into it some more and gather the information we need,” I said. “See you around, Dec. Make a plan to get out here.”

“You got it. Bye.” He hung up.

I went to track down my daughter, finding her buying scarves from a kind-faced lady who could probably talk the hind leg off a damn donkey.

To my surprise, Laurene was chatting back to her, smiling and receptive to the woman’s small talk as she made her purchases. When I realized it, I hung back for a minute, sweating in the last remaining sunshine for the day but not minding it so much if Laurene was actually enjoying herself here.

Her hair shone like fire in the sunshine, her posture relaxed and casual as she spread different scarves between her hands and examined the patterns on each before adding those she liked to the pile. It broke my heart a little bit to see her looking so grown up, talking to an adult like a friend and already having developed her own sense of style.

God, where has the time gone?

I wasn’t one to indulge in nostalgia or even remorse. Everything I’d done while she’d been growing up, I’d chosen to do. Granted, all I’d done was work and I didn’t have much of a choice not to do that, but I’d still chosen providing for my family and making something of myself over being a stay-at-home dad, and I could never regret that choice.

However, looking at her now, I couldn’t deny feeling a tinge of nostalgia and a slight pang of remorse. She was practically a teenager and I’d missed almost all of it. Looks like having a kid really does change a guy.

I exhaled slowly and walked up to her, trying for an easygoing smile that made my face feel weird. It can’t have been that long since I’d smiled, can it? Surely I still remember how. “How’s it going over here? You ready to go grab some dinner yet?”

“We just got here,” she said, glancing at me before sending the sales lady an apologetic look. “I’ll take all of these and, hopefully, be back for more before the end of the summer.”

“Sure thing, sweetheart,” the lady said and then smiled at me. “You have a wonderful daughter, sir. Lovely girl. Just lovely.”

“Thank you.” She was the second person today to compliment me about Laurene, and yet, her string of nannies should’ve been the ones to receive these compliments. Jacqueline and I had had very little to do with whatever it was these people saw in our kid that was so damn lovely.

Regret always comes too late, doesn’t it?

Shoving away the melancholy, I decided that I would be proactive about it going forward. I couldn’t do anything about the past, but the future lay ahead, and in it, I could be a better parent. At the very least for this summer, while I wasn’t supposed to be working as much anyway.

For the rest of the day, I focused on her. She didn’t speak to me much, but we had dinner together and I didn’t even read an email until after she’d gone to bed. Once she was asleep, I pulled my laptop closer and got caught up, working as much as I could without an internet connection in the cabin.

As usual, I worked late into the night, but eventually, the voices and music I’d been hearing coming from outside got to me, and I stood up, going onto the porch to see what was going on. I blinked into the darkness, trying to pinpoint its source. The sound was coming from the bar in the main resort.

It had live music every night and it seemed like it was pretty busy. I cocked my head, giving it no more thought than that before I headed out to grab a beer. With Laurene sleeping soundly and the rest of what I needed to get done requiring me to be online, I had nothing better to do and I needed to wind down.

Making my way down the path lit with tiny lights, I strode to the restaurant. The insects were still chirping, but as I’d expected, it had faded into the background, a symphony of nature reminding me that I was away from the rat race for now.

It’s damn peaceful out here. It’s no wonder the people who live in the area seem so relaxed. Walking through the lobby, I saw the front desk was unmanned. When I got to the restaurant, I saw that James, the dude from reception, was tonight’s live entertainment.

Strumming a guitar on a tiny little stage, he crooned hits by all the greats, from Billy Joel to Frank Sinatra and beyond, and groups of people who were a few cocktails ahead of me were singing along with him. It boggled my mind that all these people were so happy.

I wonder if that’s what being here for a few weeks does to a person. Doubt it’ll work for me, but hopefully, it does good things for Laurene.

I took a seat at the bar, glad that the restaurant was full enough to have a good vibe but wasn’t packed. The bartender approached me, and I recognized her. Her nametag read Gracie. She was the other woman from the diner, with heaps of curly hair frizzing around her face where it had fallen out of her ponytail.

She wore a cautious smile on her face. “What can I get you? We’ve got all the J’s, Jim, Jack, and Jose, or you can have whatever is on tap. If none of that tickles your fancy, I can bring you a cocktail menu, but we don’t carry the kind of stuff that costs a couple hundred bucks a shot.”

“Whatever you’ve got on tap is fine,” I said, realizing that Laurene and I must’ve made quite an impression on this woman in that diner.

I thought back to the interaction, wondering what about it had made her think that I would only drink something that cost a couple hundred bucks a shot, but I couldn’t think of anything in particular. We had only been in there a few minutes. Maybe it was just the way I dressed.

She brought me a lager. I nodded my thanks and settled in, staring at the foamy head disappearing before I eventually started looking around.

As luck—or something else—would have it, Birdie was there too, sitting on the other side of the bar and talking to Gracie with their heads bent together. Her eyes met mine and she smiled, giving me a quick, friendly wave.

I blew out a breath, going back to my drink instead of acknowledging her. Rude, yes, but necessary.

I didn’t want to do anything at all that could be construed as leading her on, even if she was probably only being friendly because she was a staff member who didn’t want to appear impolite to a guest.

These last couple years had been hell, all because of a different—but also very beautiful—woman. I didn’t need to go down any path that might lead to something more than strictly getting my rocks off for one night and one night only.