Page 19 of Pick Me This Time

9

STERLING

Ifelt like the biggest dick in the world as I walked away from Daphne after our brief exchange, but I’d done what I needed to do. It was bad enough that I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her. I definitely hadn’t needed to see her looking at me the way she had back there.

Like she could get lost in my eyes. Worse, like she could love me if I’d let her.

I let out a harsh breath, my footsteps clipped as I took the call from her brother.

Once again, his timing had been fucking impeccable. I swore it was like he had a built-in radar for sensing when I was thinking inappropriate thoughts about Daphne. “Hey, Eric. What’s up?”

“Do you have any plans for this weekend?” he asked.

I frowned. “No. Why? Do I?”

“Sure, you do,” he replied happily. “You’re going fishing with me. Put it in your calendar. Or your calendar app or whatever it is you rich city guys use.”

I chuckled. “It’s still just a calendar, and mine is pretty wide open these days.”

Plus, getting away from the farm sounded like a good idea. Things were still frosty with my dad and I needed a break. I was no closer to making a breakthrough with him and I was really starting to wonder if it was even possible to repair what was broken in our relationship.

Before Mom’s accident, he’d been pissed about the legacy thing, but after? It was almost like her death had snipped all ties between us. Like I was as dead to him as she was.

Thankfully, Eric spoke again, reminding me that I was still on the phone with him. “Well, I’ve got a lot of cars you can work on if you get too bored of that wide open calendar, but in the meantime, we’re going fishin’.”

“Where?” I asked, suddenly realizing the pond on the farm where we used to fish probably didn’t have any fish left in it. I was ninety-nine percent sure they’d all died. “The river at the bend?”

“Nope. I bought a cabin nearby. We’ll go out for the whole weekend. Bring beer.”

I chuckled. “Will do, buddy. Thanks.”

“I’m calling Jake too,” he said. “Just so you know. I’m not sure if he’ll come considering how close we are to Rachel’s due date, but we’ll see. He might drive out for the day. Either way, I just wanted to give you a heads-up.”

“Sounds great,” I said. “It’ll be good to have a weekend to catch up with you guys.”

“Yeah, well, it’s my last free weekend before the football games start for the season,” he said. “Otherwise, I’d have suggested we do it every weekend while you’re here. Get you away from John a bit more often.”

I groaned, dragging a hand through my hair as I left the school. “Way to call a spade a spade, but sure, I get it. It’s a one-time only deal.”

“Yep, but you could also come to a few practices with me,” he offered. “The current high school team isn’t bad, but maybe you could give them a few pointers. They’re kids. They’d appreciate the help.”

“Yeah, sure. That sounds good too.” I’m officially ready to agree to anything as long as it gives me an excuse to get away from the farm. “I’ll talk to you soon?”

“Talk to you soon,” he agreed. “I’ll let you know if Jake’s coming or not.”

“I think he already did,” I joked. “Unless it’s not his baby Rachel’s carrying.”

“Ha ha,” he said dryly before he said his goodbyes.

I climbed into his truck and tossed my phone down on the passenger seat, wondering why I kept feeling so damn out of sorts these days. It’d started before I’d even left New York City, so it wasn’t just the fact that I was home.

Something seemed to be nagging at me, but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was. It was just this deep sense of unease, or unhappiness, or something. Every once in a while, when I was talking to either Eric or Jake, I found myself joking around with them like I used to in the old days, but these weren’t the old days anymore, and whenever it happened, I felt like an impostor.

Just a guy pretending to be something he wasn’t anymore, and yet, it came so naturally that I couldn’t stop it. Sticking the key into the ignition, I turned over the engine and slammed back against the seat, shaking my head at the confusion muddying every damn thought I had nowadays.

It wasn’t like me at all. I was confident to the point of arrogance most days, and I knew it. I’d just never cared enough to change, but now, I didn’t know what was happening to me. I just felt broken.

As I put the truck in drive, I felt eyes on me, and I didn’t even have to look to know it was Daphne. I knew I’d been an ass to her, and while it’d been necessary, I still didn’t feel good about it.