Page 41 of Pick Me This Time

She’d poured her heart and soul into the yellow and blue mural on the side wall. That heavy wooden table in the kitchen had stood in our dining room for generations of Norths until she’d decided to move it.

Dad had told her his ancestors would be proud to have her using it to recreate her own family’s recipes in that bakery. If it could help her live out her passion.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe all over again. My shoulders caved and my chest dipped. I dropped my head, closing my eyes and focusing all my energy on trying to drag in oxygen through my nostrils. Usually, I wasn’t one to feel overwhelmed by emotions, but I’d never felt as deeply as I had today.

Just this morning, I’d felt more than I had in forever. Grief. Pain. Fear. Shock. Disbelief.

I shook my head. Jesus, thank you for not making me one of those people who have to live like this every day.

Right then, I didn’t know how they did it. How they coped when they felt everything this deeply all the time. Exhaling the breath I’d managed to pull in, I focused on the bakery once more.

From the outside, there was only one black streak that hinted at what had happened. For the most part, it was untouched. It looked normal.

But I knew the inside was a mess.

I’d gotten the fire extinguished before the flames had caused too much damage, but between the smoke and the extinguisher, I knew there was no chance it was going to be open again anytime soon. I would have to check with the fire department, but I assumed it would take a few days at least.

My gaze drifted back to the LaSalle siblings. Daphne and Eric had parted, but they were still standing side by side, their backs to me. She waved a hand at one of the fire trucks. Knowing that I needed to speak to her about this, I strode over to them, wanting to get it done sooner rather than later.

“Hey, guys,” I said as I approached, my body wanting to be so much closer to Daphne than it was, but I kept a few feet between us. “How are you doing?”

“I’m still fine,” she replied softly, her eyes wide and so worried when they met mine. “How are you?”

I shrugged. “Just another day in paradise.”

Eric cocked his head at me, his own eyes stormy with concern. “What’s up? You look like you need to say something.”

“Yeah, I, uh…” I pushed my fingers into my hair, biting my cheek hard so I had something to focus on other than how badly I wanted to kiss her again and how fucking much I missed my mother.

I’m such a goddamn mess.

“The bakery won’t be able to open this week,” I said eventually, forcing myself to look into those beautiful blue eyes of hers. I almost reached for her. I wanted it more than my next breath, but then I moved my gaze to Eric’s.

Daphne wasn’t mine. The spark had probably been the adrenaline. She was his little sister and I lived in Manhattan, a world away from small-town Vermont.

“I need to bring in a crew to clean up and to fix the outlets and the oven,” I said. “I’m going to talk to Jake and to the fire chief, but I don’t imagine it could take less than a week. I’m not even sure if we’ll be cleared to go in there to start cleaning up this week.”

When I risked another look at Daphne, I saw the profound sadness in her eyes but she nodded. “Of course. I’ll talk to June. She called in sick today, but I’ll let her know that we’ll keep her updated.”

“Thanks.”

She glanced at her brother then, reaching out to squeeze his forearm. He looked back at her, sliding his hand into hers and giving it a squeeze. Jealousy zipped through me like an out of control freight train. I knew that it was completely irrational, but I couldn’t help it.

I knew he was her brother, but he got to hold her hand. He got reassuring squeezes and—Fucking stop it. Right now.

“I’m going to take off,” she said, mostly to him before she flashed me a quick smile too. “I need to go get cleaned up and then I’ll see if I can help out with the homecoming prep at school. I’m really fine, so both of you can relax. I’ll see you around, okay?”

“Take my truck,” Eric offered immediately. “I was busy fixing your tire when I got the call about the fire. I’ll pick mine up from you later and bring back yours.”

“Thanks,” she said, accepting the keys when he handed them over. “Bye, guys.”

“Bye,” he called after her.

I didn’t say anything at all because I hated seeing her walk away from me after all that. Strangely—completely illogically—I needed to be with her. I needed her to be with me. I needed to make sure she wasn’t pretending to be okay. Frankly, I knew I wasn’t okay.

But I let her go anyway, watching as she climbed into her brother’s truck and drove away. Eric was staring at me when I finally looked at him. There was still worry written all over his features, his eyebrows tugged together and his eyes dark.

“Level with me,” he said and I braced myself for the worst, convinced he was going to ask me why he kept catching me staring at his sister. I would’ve told the truth too, except that he went in a completely different direction. “What’s going on with the farm, Sterling?”