Page 63 of Pick Me This Time

“He’s doing well,” I said sweetly, batting my lashes at her. “Actually, he stayed in town too. I’m sure he’ll appreciate hearing that you think it was so cute of us not to leave. You have a good night now.”

Fiona’s nostrils flared and one of her bitchy friends in particular looked horrified as I stepped around them and started walking away. I’d barely made it five feet before she called after me. “I’m not the one who said that!”

I didn’t bother acknowledging her protest. Eric wouldn’t care and I probably wouldn’t even tell him anyway. Fiona and her minions would be leaving again soon, and in the greater scheme of things, I knew it shouldn’t matter what they thought.

Unfortunately, they’d successfully managed to make me feel just as small as they always had. Logic had nothing to do with it. I did know that it shouldn’t matter, but it still felt like it did.

Those women had lives away from here. Lives that were happening in big cities with bright lights. They probably had great careers as independent women who were achieving things far more important than learning how to bake and knowing how to make a good cup of coffee.

I sighed, hanging my head as I focused on my breathing and reminded myself that I was here because this was where I wanted to be. Still, as I left them behind, I wished I could also leave behind their words and the pitying looks on their faces.

I’d never wanted to live someplace else. I’d always been perfectly happy right here, but every so often, I wondered what it was like out there. It was like Fiona had seen that most vulnerable part inside of me and then she’d swung a sledgehammer at it, allowing all the insecurities to break right out.

I started my shopping, striding slowly from aisle to aisle as I went over the mental checklist I’d made of things I needed to remember to pick up, but I was moving on autopilot. Those words and the looks on their faces were front and center in my mind. I wondered if maybe, just maybe, I’d made a mistake never leaving.

After I’d gotten my degree, I hadn’t even looked at possibilities outside of Allisburg. As if it had been meant to be, one of the elementary school teachers had retired the summer after I’d qualified and my mom had immediately let me know.

I’d applied for the position and I’d gotten it. Everything had fallen into place so perfectly that I’d thought this was where I belonged, but I’d also always known that this was the time of my life to explore a bit if I wanted to.

I’d simply never wanted to enough to actually go. Sometimes, late at night, I browsed through teaching positions available all over the country and even internationally. I’d thought about taking a year to teach English in some remote village on an exotic island, but I’d never even started the application process.

Eventually, I wanted to get married and start a family, and when that happened, I knew I wanted to be here. This was where I wanted to raise my children and whatnot, but as I walked through the store, I wondered if perhaps it was worth at least giving some serious thought to getting away for a year or so.

After I got home, I packed away the groceries and made myself some spaghetti for dinner. Then I carried my bowl and a cup of hot tea to the desk in my tiny second bedroom. I used it as a workspace whenever I needed one, and my laptop as well as some stationery lived here.

I sat down, opened my computer, and ate while I waited for it to come on. Once the screen was alive, I clicked into my internet browser, but even that felt wrong. My insides were at war—my heart rebelled against the mere thought of looking at available positions with the intention of possibly actually applying for one, and my brain told me that now was the time to do it.

Just take a look. You don’t have to apply. Just look if there’s something out there that seems interesting.

Scrolling while I ate, I visited a few of the sites I knew advertised teaching positions all over the world, but before I could start thinking about it too much, my phone rang. I set down my bowl and stood up, darting to where I’d left the device in the kitchen.

I smiled when I saw it was Rachel. I picked up, my tone teasing to hide the relief washing through me that I’d been interrupted. “How did you know to call me right now?”

“Daph,” she murmured, her voice wobbly and thick with tears. “I need your help.”

Instantly on high alert, my smile vanished and so did all my insecurities. I raced to my front door, grabbing my keys and purse on my way out. “I’m coming. Are you at home?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll be right there,” I promised, my chest tight and my heart hammering. “Just sit tight, Rach. I’m on my way.”

I had no clue what was going on, but receiving a teary phone call from a very pregnant friend warranted urgent attention. My laptop would still be here later, and so would all those potential jobs I didn’t know if I wanted, but I forgot all about those terrible feelings Fiona and her friends had stirred up as I left my place.

Rachel was in trouble, and right then, she and her baby were the only things that mattered.