Page 99 of Pick Me This Time

“Again, if there is a rift, it’s because Eric can’t accept that I can make my own decisions,” I said, keeping my arms crossed even tighter against my chest as I fought against the urge to touch him. To coax out the guy he was inside. “Is that all you wanted to say?”

“No.” His lids slid shut for just a moment as he inhaled. Then he opened his eyes again and looked right at me. “I have to go back to New York. After the reunion, I’ll be leaving and I didn’t want you to hear it from anyone else.”

“Right.” All that spit and tape around my heart started coming loose all over again. I could practically feel the fissures as they turned into cracks, but I refused to let him see it. “Wasn’t that always the plan?”

“Yeah.” He dragged a hand through his hair, averting his gaze for a moment to look at the trophy cabinet. “I just wanted to make sure you knew it was still happening. Don’t fight with Eric, Daph. He loves you. He’s just trying to protect you, is all.”

So many things raced through my head, one of which was that I didn’t need Eric’s protection and another was that Sterling had no right to tell me who to fight with. I wanted to rant and rave. To demand an explanation about why he’d disappeared on me as soon as my brother had found out, when not twelve hours before, he’d been promising me that we were going to figure it out together.

I wanted to cry and beg him to stay. I wanted to know why he was telling me this in the first place when I hadn’t known there was a chance he wouldn’t be leaving.

Ultimately, though, I’d made enough of a fool of myself recently. I’d allowed myself to get sucked into my teenage fantasies and to believe that something might actually come of hooking up with him.

Meanwhile, it had probably never even crossed his mind that I was falling for him while he’d been having fun at home. Besides, he had Fiona waiting in the wings, probably chomping at the bit for a second chance with her high school sweetheart.

I couldn’t compete with her or with his glitzy life back in New York, and it had been naive of me to think I could. Staring into those deep brown eyes, I made a mental note of every golden fleck and darker ring in his irises, knowing I would be torturing myself by thinking back to this moment often but also needing the detail to be able to do it properly.

If I’m going down, I’m going down in flames.I wasn’t going to get over him fast anyway. It just felt right to have him as clear as possible in my memories. At least that way, I would remember exactly what I was sobbing about.

At the same time, I had to be strong in this moment. Falling apart was meant to happen in the privacy of my own home, on my own time. This wasn’t a surprise and I refused to let him know how much it hurt me.

“Sure. Yeah. Eric’s trying to protect me. This has nothing to do with his ego being bruised because he didn’t catch on about us earlier. It’s not about his immature sense of ick from knowing that his best friend is getting it on with his sister. It’s absolutely just about protecting me. I’ll be sure to remember that when you’re gone.”

Sterling exhaled a deep breath through his nostrils, his lips twisting like he was pained. “Just don’t give him too much grief about it? Please? I’ll be gone, so what’s the point of fighting with him? He’s your brother. Your family. You guys are lucky to have each other. Don’t let this ruin your relationship.”

He won’t even talk to me, so it’s hardly me doing the relationship ruining. “Of course. Eric and I will work it out, Sterling. Anything else?”

He swiped his tongue across his lips, searching my eyes like he was waiting for me to say something else, but I didn’t really know what else I could offer. Since I was intent on putting on a brave face for all this, though, I finally shrugged.

“We should probably just be friends, then,” I said, looking deep into his eyes for even a flicker of something that wasn’t just cool distance.

“Right. We should be friends,” he repeated after me, but he didn’t sound particularly excited about it either.

I swore I saw something like turmoil behind those eyes then, but it was only for a moment and then it was gone. The fact of the matter was that Sterling and I had never been friends and I doubted we’d be able to do it moving forward.

I, for one, would have a really hard time being just friends with him. As I stared at him, he nodded slowly, but then he slid his hands into his pockets and started backing away from me. “Alright, then. I’ll see you around, Daphne.”

“See you around.” He started turning to leave, and before I could even stop myself, just a little bit of the confusion and spite rolling around inside me bubbled out. “Have fun with Fiona.”

He froze, twisting so he was facing me again. With his brow furrowed and his head slightly cocked, he seemed genuinely puzzled, but he was probably just not sure how I’d found out. “What do you mean by that?”

“Nothing.” I’d said it out of anger, but as of about thirty seconds ago, it really had nothing to do with me who he chose to spend his time with.

Sterling had broken it off between us even if he hadn’t said the words, and we were just friends now. Determined to keep my mouth shut, I gave him a quick wave and took off, rushing back down the hallway to the gym.

Maybe this distance would be a good thing. I’d never been mean or spiteful in my life, and I’d definitely never felt like my heart had been ripped clean out of my chest. I almost checked for a trail of blood dripping from me, though.

Naive, foolish Daphne LaSalle had fallen for the golden god of Allisburg High, the North Star who had so often guided his team to victory. It’d been stupid all along, but when I thought about it now, fully aware of how much hope I’d ended up having that we really would work things out, it was hands down the dumbest thing I’d ever done.

Unfortunately, I’d already gone and done it. I’d fallen hook, line, and sinker for Sterling North, and he just really didn’t give a damn.