Page 41 of Come A Little Closer

“It’s no trouble at all.” I frowned and rounded the kitchen island, not reaching for her, but my gaze was intent on her face as I tried figuring out what the hell was going on. “Are you all right? Did something happen that I should know about? Maybe I should be able to piece it together, but right now, I have no idea what’s gone wrong.”

“Nothing has gone wrong.” She finally lifted her eyes to mine, fat tears welling on her lids as she stared back at me. “I just shouldn’t be here. We can’t be together, Niall. You’re way out of my league. I have nothing to offer you. I’m just a girl with barely any life skills. I⁠—”

“Is it me?” I asked, interrupting her rambling because it wasn’t making any sense. “I’m really not getting exactly what’s going on.”

“It’s not you.”

“Good,” I said, finding at least a small measure of relief in that. “I really like you. I’m not looking for you to offer me anything. I’m not even sure what you’re talking about, but I do know that I’d like nothing more than to take you upstairs and finish what we started last night. Then I’d like to sit down and eat way too many pancakes. Then we can spend the rest of the day watching those scary movies you like so much.”

She blinked hard, her features scrunching up a little bit. “Really?”

“Yeah, of course,” I said easily, pointedly running my gaze over her in the shirt I’d had on at the party last night.

As unbelievably fucking sexy as she looked in it though, I really did still believe that it was better for us to take things slow. It’d nearly killed me to put on the brakes last night when I’d literally had the condom in my hand, but it’d felt like the interruption of my phone ringing had happened for a reason.

A belief that had been reinforced this morning when I’d woken up to an apologetic text from someone claiming to have accidentally dialed the wrong number.

That kind of shit just didn’t happen often these days, but more especially not at the exact moment it’d happened last night. Sign accepted, I’d vowed to stick to the decision we’d made about easing our way into things.

“Why don’t you take me upstairs to finish what we started, then?” she asked softly.

As I stared back into those hazel eyes, I wondered how honest I could be right now without scaring her off. The truth was that I was starting to get the feeling that something had either happened to her in the past, or that she was hiding something serious from me.

After last weekend, I’d concluded that the darkness in her was about her past, but I still didn’t know what it was, and until I did, I just felt like I’d ruin things if I slept with her. Last night, she’d been all for it and so had I, and yet, I’d sensed some hesitation in her when I’d pulled her panties aside.

She hadn’t been completely comfortable with me regardless of how much she’d wanted it. I had a few kinks sexually. Stuff I found hot, but uncertainty and discomfort weren’t part of them. I wouldn’t cross that line until everything felt just right.

That was the answer to her question, but I didn’t voice it, countering with a question of my own instead. “Why do you think we can’t be together?”

She sucked in a breath, looking like she was gathering her thoughts. It took her a minute before she shrugged. “It’s just one of those things.”

I frowned, sweeping my gaze across her beautiful face and noticing how conflicted she seemed this morning. As I thought it over, her words from earlier drifted back across my mind. I just shouldn’t be here. You’re way out of my league. I have nothing to offer you. I’m just a girl with barely any life skills.

As I wondered where that had come from, it suddenly hit me like a bolt out of the blue. Things started clicking into place one after another, the puzzle pieces falling together rapidly after weeks of not making any sense individually.

Tallulah was careful with money. As far as I knew, she hadn’t spent a dime of what I paid her, which was generous. Yet, she hadn’t even gone shopping for a dress for the party, and while I’d jumped to the conclusion about her not having had time to do so, she’d already come right out and said it’d been unnecessary to spend money when Sayra had had that dress lying around.

It wasn’t just that either. The last time I’d been to her house, she’d still only had the groceries I’d bought when she’d started and I’d noticed she hadn’t bought any knickknacks to make the place feel like hers either.

No new cushions, rugs, photo frames, candles, or anything else that would’ve injected her own style into the guest house. She also never asked me for anything and she was still Ubering despite me practically giving her a car.

She took meticulous care of the guest house and she’d been working like a dog on the preparations for the Hallow’s Eve Festival. In addition to all that, she’d taken on last night’s party as well and as soon as she’d had the opportunity, had asked whether she’d still have a job by Christmas.

Individually, there were hundreds of possibilities to explain all those things rationally. All together, however, they made me feel like something was off.

Something, I realized with rage speeding through me, that likely had to do with the ex she’d mentioned once. “What did he do to you?”

“Excuse me?” she asked, eyes locking on mine as I edged closer to her. “Who?”

“Carter,” I spat. “Your ex-boyfriend. I know he did something to you and seeing as how that something now seems to be affecting the way you’re thinking about a possible future with me, I’d like to know what it was.”

“Niall…” She trailed off, more tears filling her eyes as she shook her head. “I can’t.”

I dragged in a deep breath, curling and uncurling my fingers at my sides in an attempt to work out some of the rage and aggravation rolling through me. If I was right, any display of aggression on my part, even if it wasn’t aimed at her, would only make things worse.

Sitting down on one of the stools at the island, I reached for her slowly, giving her plenty of time to move out of my reach. When she didn’t, I gently wrapped my fingers around hers and tugged her to me, forcing myself to be patient instead of demanding answers.

She came to stand between my spread knees, but not pressed up against me. Running her thumbs along my palms, she glanced at our joined hands for a long moment.