Page 22 of His for the Holiday

He arched an eyebrow at me, his eyes swimming with humor and the faint shimmer of memories. “Well, I mean, Portsmouth has a college, but it’s not exactly Trinity or Oxford. If that’s where you thought you were going to end up, then it’s got to be a bit of wake-up call being back here.”

“You can say that again,” I agreed, turning to face the port instead of the man I’d spent so much time with there. “They were silly dreams, though. I was never going to be a tenured professor there.”

“You might’ve been,” he said softly, and it sounded like he really meant it. “There aren’t a lot of women who would’ve given that up to raise their children, though. You’re still one of a kind, Sutton Ashbury.”

“Technically, it’s still Megill.” I cringed. “Sutton Megill. I should change it back, though. It sounds like the name of a monster from a Godzilla movie.”

He chuckled. “Or you could just wait until you get married again. You’ll have a new last name then, anyway.”

I scoffed down a bark of laughter. “Yeah, that’s not going to work for me.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not getting married again.” I shook my head. “I only had to burn my hand on the stove once to know not to touch it again.”

“What if the right guy comes along?”

What if the right guy has been right here all along?The thought popped into my head out of nowhere and I frowned as I desperately tried to forget I’d even had it. The moonlight made him too handsome, highlighting his strong jaw and cheekbones. It was making me think crazy things.

Being here with Hawk felt right, but I knew that it shouldn’t. Even if I was starting to think that I might’ve read him wrong before. That guy he used to be—the one I was so completely, head over heels in love with—was still somewhere in there.

In stolen moments like this or when that walkie-talkie buzzed the other night, it was abundantly clear that he still existed. That guy was simply covered in a layer of LA glam.

I chuckled. “There is no right man for me. There can’t be because I won’t allow it. No thank you.”

Hawk’s blue eyes slid to mine and held them. His expression was intense as he drank me in like he used to right before he would kiss me. “Do you want to just spend the night? Save yourself the trip home?”

“It’s a couple houses away,” I said, even though I didn’t want to move from the porch.

“I know.”

“It’s not really a trip,” I murmured, but I couldn’t look away from him. I wanted him to lean in right now and do what it looked like he wanted to do. “Besides, you guys seem to have a pretty full house here.”

“We’ve got space,” he said.

I cocked my head at him. “Where?”

“In my bed.” He delivered the line with perfect ease and confidence, and those blue eyes were suddenly smoldering.

I groaned. The conversation had turned too flirty. Pull yourself out of the Hawk-haze, Sutton. Right now! You’re going to end up pregnant again.

As soon as I realized that I was, in fact, back in the same Hawk-haze I used to fall into when I’d spent every hour I had available with him, I forced my limbs to move and I stood up. “I should get going. Thanks for helping me with Emery.”

He nodded, not following me up. I waved and walked away, but when I reached the sidewalk, he called my name. “Sutt?”

“Yep?” I spun to face him, driven to do so by force of habit. I’d always loved hearing my name—or my nickname—from his lips. That low, commanding timbre made a shiver shoot down my spine, even now. “What’s up?”

“I meant it,” he said, those eyes locking directly on mine. “You can really crash here if you want.”

“Thanks, but I need a glass of water and to close my eyes.” I don’t to want go, but I definitely can’t stay. “Good night, Hawk. I’ll see you around.”

Immediately walking away before I changed my mind, I folded my arms across my chest and wondered how much longer he was staying in town. I knew I was already going to miss him when he left, but at this rate, I needed him to go.

Before I did something stupid like give my heart back to the first boy who had ever broken it.