Page 30 of His for the Holiday

“Is that so?” He laughed. “I’d like to see it sometime.”

“And by a whole one, I mean a keg,” I joked. “Calen’s family would’ve disowned me otherwise.” At the mention of my ex, I shut up abruptly, exhaling a sharp breath through my nostrils. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. It’s such a downer every time I mention him.”

“Don’t be sorry. He was a big part of your life for a long time.” Hawk’s eyes latched on mine once more, holding them intently. He stared at me like he was trying to see into my soul. “Do you still love him?”

“No,” I said honestly, pulling in a breath and releasing it slowly. “Part of me will always love a part of him, I suppose. We had some good years together and he gave me Winnie, but I don’t love him the way you’re asking. I’m not in love with him anymore.”

“You still love him even though he hurt you so badly?”

I shrugged. “People are complicated. Calen did an incredibly shitty thing to me, and mostly, I hate him for it, but it’d be lying to say that there’s not even one small part of me that appreciates the good we had together.”

“Would you go back to him?”

“Never.” I shook my head. “That ship has sailed. It’s taken me a whole year to be able to say that, but I don’t want him back.”

“Right.”

The server brought my drink and I picked it up and sipped it. As I chatted with Hawk about lighter things like the village I lived in and the layout of his house in LA, Hailey suddenly dropped in on us. The girl was as blonde and beautiful as she had ever been and the sight of her still put a damn rock in my stomach.

“Hawk,” she said happily, laying one of her hands almost possessively on his shoulder as she came to stand next to our table. Her gaze slid to mine and I saw the ice in it, but her tone was syrupy sweet. “Sutton. How cute that you two are here together. Catching up?”

“Uh huh,” I hummed and gulped my drink in the hopes that she’d realize I had nothing to say to her.

“Hailey,” Hawk said politely, but I noticed him twisting in his seat as if doing so only to face her, but dislodging her hand with the swift motion. “Where’s your husband?”

She ignored his question, those calculating eyes still on mine. “Where’s Sutton’s? Oh, right. You’re divorced.”

“Happily so.” I nodded. “Thanks for the reminder.”

She smiled sweetly. “You’re welcome. It must be so hard to suddenly find yourself all alone. I don’t know what I’d do if my Ben suddenly just up and left us.”

“You’d figure it out,” I replied, but I was getting real tired of this conversation, laced with enough sugar that I couldn’t tell if she was being mean or not, and yet, it was still making me feel horrible.

Hawk must’ve noticed because he suddenly tossed back the rest of his drink, dropped some cash on the table, and shoved his chair back with a bit of a meaningful thud. “Actually, we were just leaving, Hailey.”

She tried to stop him, but he came around to my side of the table, eyes only for me, and took my arm. He helped me back into my coat before placing his hand firmly in the small of my back and guiding me out of there.

“My Lagavulin,” I lamented as we stepped out onto the sidewalk. “What a waste.”

“I’ll buy you a bottle,” he promised, his palm still on my back as he glanced at me. “Why do you let her talk to you like that?”

“Like what?” I asked, a little shocked by the question. “Like we’re still in high school and she’s still superior to me?”

He scoffed. “In what universe has Hailey James, or whatever her last name is now, ever been superior to you?”

“Oh, I don’t know. You did take her to prom instead of me.”

A long groan rattled out of him. “Not this again.”

“What do you mean again?” I asked sharply, realizing that I was getting worked up over stuff that had happened a decade ago, but shit. I’d never gotten to say any of this, and seeing her with him while she still seemed to be out to get me had taken me back a little too far. “We’ve never talked about it, Hawk. There is no again. The fact is that you chose to take her to prom even though you were supposed to have been with me.”

“Okay, fine. It was stupid. I’ll admit that, but I was a kid.”

“A kid who basically kept his relationship with me a secret from everyone because he was embarrassed of me.”

“That’s not what happened.”

I stopped walking. “Are you delusional? Senile?”