Page 34 of His for the Holiday

16

SUTTON

Ihad always been self-conscious of my body, but it’d gotten worse after my pregnancy with Winnie. As I stood half-naked in front of Hawk, I tried to look calm and confident, but my heart was stumbling over itself in my chest and I was almost too afraid to breathe.

The last time he’d seen me this way, I had been a teenager who had spent her days running around with him. I’d always been naturally curvy, but my curves were a lot flabbier now. After Winnie’s birth, I’d tried getting them back to the way they had been, but there was no eliminating the evidence that I’d produced life.

My body had stubbornly refused to move back in time, but I didn’t want to let that hold me back, which was why I’d simply decided to let him see me. If he changed his mind about wanting to be with me when he saw what I looked like, then so be it.

I would rather it happen before we got totally naked than after. Even so, I waited with bated breath as those smoldering blue eyes dragged over every inch of me, so darn nervous that I could feel my pulse slamming under my jaw.

Hawk and I had never slept together back in the day. He’d been the first boy with whom I’d done everything but, and one of the only men outside of Calen who had ever touched me. I had no idea what his dating life had been like between then and now, but I imagined it had been active.

Trying to distract myself by finally lowering my own gaze to his exposed abs, I realized that somehow, he was even more ripped now than he had been back then. It was flipping unbelievable but it was much too true. Where my body had gotten exponentially softer with age, his only seemed to have become harder.

Those broad shoulders still tapered to narrower hips, and his strong chest still carried only a smattering of dark hair, but his muscles were so much more defined now. Each one of them seemed steeped in purpose. The powerful but lean hills and valleys of them wrapped around his abdomen in a way that made me desperate to feel them under my palms.

The dull ache I’d felt between my legs when he’d pressed me up against that wall came back with a vengeance, a fresh wave of heat pooling in my already damp panties. Our kisses earlier had worked me up more than they should have, but on the other hand, nothing about those kisses had been simple.

It made me lose my breath all over again when I thought back to them, to the deep connection I’d felt to the man as he’d hungrily devoured my mouth. I hadn’t felt anything like it since the last time I’d been kissed by him, but that was a thought process for another day.

Hawk’s gaze finally traveled back up to mine and all my nerves burned away under the fire in his eyes. His pearly white teeth sank into his lip and a silent beat passed between us before he suddenly strode toward me, those long legs eating up the distance in the blink of an eye.

He crashed into me with the same fervor as before—perhaps even more so. I had never understood how someone who looked like him could be so affected by someone like me, but it seemed his almost insatiable teenage desire hadn’t ebbed or abated.

If anything, it felt like he was even more turned on by me now. Or maybe it’s just because he knows he’s going to get some this time.

I dismissed the thought, deciding I’d obsess about that later too. Instead of allowing my brain to ruin this moment, I wrapped my arms around his neck and let my body lead the way.

My heart thrummed against my ribs as his lips covered mine time and again. His torso moved against mine with his shoulders drawing back slightly on each ferocious kiss. His lower half almost undulated against my own. Hawk had never been shy about letting me know how much he wanted me, and just as it had been before, his certainty unlocked something that allowed me to let go completely.

His hands wrapped around the backs of my thighs. I pushed myself up to jump into his arms and there was an undeniable familiarity in the movement. I clung to him when he picked me up and carried me to my bedroom. He’d always joked about how much he loved me being so small that he could carry me around this way, and secretly, I’d always loved it to0.

He strode directly to my bed, obviously remembering the layout of the apartment. Then he laid me down gently on the mattress, his eyes on mine in the silvery moonlight streaming in through the window. Elbows bent at either side of my shoulders, he kept his weight on them as he lay on top of me. His mouth rarely left mine as we made out like we were both trying to make up for lost time.

His kisses left me wildly wanting. The whisper-soft touches of his hands when they finally started roaming up and down my sides drove me to the brink of insanity. All the while, I felt consumed by him. Dominated by him. And I didn’t even care.

It felt right. Like I’d always belonged to him and I was only now finally coming back to where I’d always been meant to be.

In that moment, the thought didn’t even scare me. Instead, when he pushed down at my waistband, I lifted my hips. He rolled my pants and my panties off in one smooth movement. Completely naked, I suddenly couldn’t even find a shred of my self-consciousness from before. Every fiber of my being needed him too much to even consider being shy.

Hawk touched me so carefully that he made me feel sexy and precious to him all at the same time. It was like he was worshiping my body. He brought his mouth to my ear, whispering to me as he finally slipped a hand between my legs. “You’re beautiful, Sutton. So fucking sexy. I can’t wait to get inside you.”

My breath caught, my nipples tightening to hard points at his words. Then his fingers slid through my folds and I whimpered. My toes curled as he brushed his thumb over my clit. “Hawk…”

“Tell me,” he commanded roughly, his voice husky and ragged before he brought his mouth to my nipple and bit it softly. “What do you want, Sutton?”

“You,” I ground out, panting. My cheeks flooded with heat and I felt the arousal seeping out of me. “Please, Hawk?”

He groaned, glancing up from my chest and making my heart skip when those eyes met mine. “You’re not going to make this easy on me, are you?”

“What?”

“Nothing.” He dragged in a deep breath and circled my clit with his thumb while still staring deep into my eyes. My body tightened, my breathing choppy, and I tried to keep my gaze steady on his. “I want you to come for me, Sutton. Once I get inside you…” He trailed off, his eyes closing, and he sucked in a sharp breath when he pushed his fingers into me. “Shit, you’re so wet. I need…”

He lost his words again as I felt my muscles contract around his fingers, greedily sucking him in. His free hand covered my breast and his mouth sealed back over mine. As he kissed me, his hand kept moving between my thighs. His fingers touched me everywhere I needed to be touched exactly when I needed it.

I felt my orgasm building fast and it swept over me with almost no notice, sending pleasure shooting from my core to my extremities. I cried out into his mouth. I hadn’t even come down yet when he started rubbing again, working me into another frenzy before he broke our kiss to lick me down there instead.