Page 47 of His for the Holiday

21

HAWK

While the twins were sporty and agile, five-year-old Sawyer reminded me a lot of my sister at that age. He was quiet, shy, and prone to big emotions he could barely handle.

Emery had discovered her love for sports later on, and I wasn’t the only one that seemed to remember that she’d needed some encouragement to get there. Sawyer was hanging back while Winnie and the twins raced up and down the beach playing some game they’d created. It involved chasing one another and throwing rocks into the water, but he seemed perfectly content to sit with us.

Between us on the picnic blanket, he watched them play with an almost longing expression on his face and Sutton leaned forward, giving him the same smile she’d had so many years ago when trying to encourage Sawyer’s mother.

“You should go join them,” she said gently. “I’m sure they’d stop for a bit to explain the game to you, or you could just make up your own rules. I think that’s what they’re all doing anyway.”

Those little blue eyes came up to mine. In the time I’d been in town, he and I had started bonding, but he simply wasn’t as open or exuberant about it as his brothers. “Do you think they’ll let me play?”

“Of course.” I reached out to ruffle his hair and grinned. “They’d better, or else I’m going to play with them and I’ll catch them all.”

I winked at him as I said it and he finally broke out a tiny smile, then stood up and motioned to the rocks instead. “I think I’ll just go build a castle with those. The others are too much faster than me.”

“They are also older, honey,” Sutton said, still smiling. “Suit yourself, though. I think building a castle with the rocks sounds pretty good too.”

His smile widened. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “Will you come call me when you’re done? I’d love to see it. Maybe we can take some pictures of it for your mommy.”

“Yes!” he exclaimed happily, even favoring her with a hug before he raced away.

“You’re good with kids,” I murmured, glad to finally have a moment alone with her.

Sutton looked beautiful in a pair of simple blue jeans and a black knitted cardigan, her feet bare with a little golden toe-ring sparkling on her middle toe. For some reason, the sight of it was getting me all hot and bothered, but I flexed my thighs, returning to all those old tricks I used to use to keep her from realizing the effect she had on me.

“So are you,” she said, flashing me an almost shy smile from behind her loose, dark blonde hair. Those gray eyes fixed on mine. “Do you think you’ll ever have any of your own?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I’ve never really thought about it.”

Not until recently, anyway.

“Is that why you haven’t settled down?” She glanced at me again before plucking a shell out of the sand and cleaning it off with her fingers. Her gaze lowered to the pearly white color she was revealing. “Or are you going to give me a real answer to my first question?”

I laughed. “I am giving you real answers. I’ve never really thought about settling down or having kids. Until now, I was too focused on work, and building the company, and where to take it next. I think I sort of lost track of everything else.”

“And now?” she asked. “Are you thinking about it now?”

I shrugged, watching the kids spray sand behind them as they sprinted around, and I smiled at their shrieks of laughter filling the air. My gaze moved to Sawyer, his features scrunched up in intense concentration as he planned his castle, trying many rocks before he finally put each one into place.

“I don’t know,” I repeated. “I love kids. I’d love to have a bunch of them, but it kind of feels like I’ve lost my shot.”

Sutton chuckled. “You’re only thirty-one. That’s hardly too old to have kids, especially for a man.”

“Maybe,” I agreed finally, looking at her again and wondering if she’d ever consider having more children. “What was Winnie like as a baby?”

“She was a dream,” Sutton said, her voice soft and the expression in her eyes suddenly faraway. “Honestly, I know people tend to say that, but in my case, it was true. She slept through the night as soon as I stopped waking her for feeds and I never had any issues with anything with her. She was just amazing.”

I wonder if our babies will also⁠—

I stopped the thought in its tracks. “Do you think you’d ever consider having another baby?”

She cocked an eyebrow at me, laughter twinkling in her eyes. She shook her head. “I’m twenty-nine. That’s considered a geriatric pregnancy already, and given that I’m currently as single as the day is long, I doubt there are any more babies in my future.”

“Would you have liked more?”