Page 61 of His for the Holiday

28

SUTTON

Hawk’s grip on me was tight and reassuring as he walked me to my apartment. Personally, I felt like the world was still spinning too fast and it was making my stomach swirl, but since no else seemed to be swaying, I was going to go ahead and assume it was only shock.

I could not believe that Calen was actually here. I couldn’t believe how he’d grinned at me back at Bayshore and I couldn’t believe he’d acted like nothing had ever gone wrong between us, the cheating prick.

Winnie, of course, had been delighted to see him, and for that, I was happy, but the rest of me felt like I’d been hit by a freight train.

At first when I’d seen him, I’d thought I was fine, but I very much was not fine. The more time I had for reality to sink in, the less fine I was.

“Sutton?” Hawk prompted gently once we were in my living room. “Are you okay?”

“Everything is fine,” I said, turning to smile at him. I released his hand and grabbed the bottle of whiskey he’d been carrying. “Drink?”

“Yes.”

“Excellent.” I grabbed two tumblers from the cabinet and set them down on the counter with a soft thud. Then I cracked open the bottle and filled them to the brim, not bothering with ice. Without waiting, I took a swig of mine.

The smooth, warm liquid hit my tongue. I drew in a deep breath through my nostrils and put the tumbler down, pressing both my palms against the counter. Letting my head drop forward, I stayed like that for a moment, shutting my eyes and focusing on my breathing.

“I know I’m overreacting,” I said softly, keeping my head down for a second longer before I lifted it to look at Hawk. “It’s just that Calen actually showing up is shocking and I didn’t prepare myself for it, nor did I prepare Winnie. I really didn’t think he would come.”

Hawk ran both hands through his thick, dark hair and took a deep breath. He strode forward, wrapped his long fingers around his glass, and brought it to his lips to take a long drink. Then he settled across the counter from me.

“You’re not overreacting,” he said, gaze firm and calm. “Do you want to tell me how you’re feeling right now?”

I shook my head. “Everything is fine. Really. It’s just a shock, is all. I’ll get over it in a minute.”

“Okay,” he said lightly, pushing away from the counter to wave a hand at my couch. “Should I just wait, or…”

I pursed my lips at him, trying to hide a smile. I gave my head another shake. “Okay. Fine. Maybe it’s going to take more than a minute.”

“Come sit with me.” He took a swig of his drink and held out his free hand. I placed mine in it and he pulled me down on the nearest armchair.

Careful not to spill, he moved me into position in his lap so I was looking at him but not straddling him, and then he tucked an arm over my calves where they were hanging over the armrest. The other arm slid around my lower back, and his head tilted up so his eyes were on mine.

I settled into his embrace, making myself comfortable in his arms and feeling an unmistakable sense of safety and familiarity wash over me. It allowed me to pull oxygen into my lungs and actually fill them for the first time since I’d heard Calen’s voice. I groaned, my eyes latching onto Hawk’s as if I needed to look at him to keep breathing.

Our relationship, while new, felt so natural to me that it was almost like we’d spent no time apart at all. Like all along, Hawk had been my port in the storm, my anchor, and my keel, keeping me upright even in the harshest of winds.

Letting myself feel like this about him again was dangerous, but I gave in anyway. “Calen hasn’t been around Winnie in a long time. I’m terrified of him coming here and getting her hopes up that he’s going to make more of an effort with her from now on.”

“That’s what you meant when you said you didn’t prepare her?”

I nodded. “A few weeks ago, I got an email from him that said he was coming for Thanksgiving. I was convinced he was going to let me know on the day or maybe even after that he couldn’t make it, so I didn’t say anything to her.”

“You didn’t want to get her hopes up?”

“Calen has hurt her so badly in the past,” I murmured. My eyes slid shut at the pain of the memories that swept across my mind. “He’s still her father, though. She was so damn happy to see him. She always is. No matter what shitty thing he does to her or how many times he lets her down, as soon as he shows up, she’s over the fucking moon about it.”

Hawk’s jaw hardened, but he didn’t interrupt.

“Outside of that one email, I didn’t hear from him again. He didn’t tell me that he’d bought a ticket or when he would be getting in. I didn’t know anything about his plans, and yet, he’s ticked off that I didn’t offer to let him stay with us.”

“He really thought you’d invite him into your home after everything he did?”

I sighed. “When I told him the Bayshore Inn was just down the road and that I was sure he would get a room there, he got all huffy and offended.”