Page 50 of Santa Baby

“I’m not falling in love with Mason O’Leary.”

“What would you call it, then?”

I closed my eyes. I didn’t have an answer for her. The answer dancing through my head wasn’t something I wanted to accept. That I was falling for him, and I didn’t know what to do with those feelings.

“He’s not Jake,” Liv said.

I took a shallow breath and met Liv’s eyes. “No, he’s not.”

Mason was the opposite of Jake in every way. I wasn’t used to guys like Mason. Kind, thoughtful, and caring. But the degree of separation between us was astounding. He was rich. Like, rich rich. I wasn’t. I barely made rent most months. He came from a wealthy, prestigious family. I came from a loud, Italian family from Brooklyn. We were leagues apart.

Yet somehow, we meshed. I could talk to him about anything. He didn’t judge me for my eclectic taste or blunt personality. I craved his company. I missed him. I wanted him.

“You got it bad, girl.” Liv smirked around her mug.

I flashed her a look and sank deeper into the couch cushions. “I don’t know what to feel, okay? I do like him. I’d like this to be more, all right? Is that what you want to hear?”

“Don’t get all pissy with me. I’m here as a sounding board, right? You did call⁠—”

“I did call you,” I grumbled. “But this isn’t like the romance novels you sell. This is my real life. This guy—these feelings? This is endgame kind of stuff.”

“This is why you were in such a fit when we went shopping the other day, huh?” she asked, her eyes softening.

I nodded. “I just want him to like me for me, not the version of me I have to play when we go to events together.”

“Have you really been playing a part, though?”

“No,” I groaned, resting my forehead on my knees. “That’s the worst part. I’ve been so comfortable around him from the beginning. I did this to myself. I fell for him, Liv.”

“Why are you so worked up about this? It’s so cut and dry! Just tell him how you feel!”

“I could, but he could turn me down, say he doesn’t feel the same way, and I’d be crushed. It’s better if I don’t say anything at all. Plus…”

“Plus?”

“He’s Colin’s best friend, and his boss.”

Liv pursed her lips, finally seeing my dilemma. “I forgot about that.”

“Yeah, so did I, which should tell you how deep I’m in. I haven’t thought of Colin when I’m with Mason lately, especially when we kiss. I forgot how I even ended up on Mason’s radar. What am I supposed to do?”

She sat up straighter. “Talk to him! Do you really think he doesn’t feel anything for you?”

“I know he’s attracted to me and likes hanging out but deeper than that?” I sighed. “I don’t know.”

The buzzer went off, startling us both. “That’s our pizza,” I said, rising from the couch. I pressed the call button, letting the delivery guy know I would be right down, and slipped into my slippers. “Be right back.”

Liv sighed, shaking her head at me as I slipped out of the apartment and started winding down the stairs toward the lobby. In typical New York City fashion, every floor had a different smell—food cooking, candles burning, laundry being turned over on the second-floor communal laundry room. But when I finally reached the door to the street, there were two people standing there.

I opened the door to accept the pizza, but the second delivery person hung back for a moment, rechecking the address on the tablet she was holding.

“Uh, are you looking for someone in this building?” I asked.

“Yeah, Fia Webster? This is the right address for the building but it doesn’t list an apartment number.”

“Oh, that’s me⁠—”

“Perfect timing then! Hold on.” She walked down the steps to a delivery van idling in the street. I stood perfectly still with my large half-Hawaiian, half-meat supreme monstrosity as I watched the woman pull something out of the back of the van covered in green and red cellophane. She picked her way back to the steps, holding out her tablet. “Sign here, please.”