Page 119 of Billionaire Bad Boy Auction

Did I want there to be a chance? Dean would probably break my heart. Again. The last thing I wanted to do was get involved in some yo-yo relationship. The on-off thing would feed the gossip and drag both of us through hell. We either had to be all in or nothing at all. I just wasn’t sure either of us could do it. He declared he didn’t do relationships and I refused to be a fling.

I wasn’t sure where that left us.

I walked to my office, unlocked the door, and rushed inside. I wasn’t sure if I was expecting him to follow me. Did I want him to?

Duh.

An hour later, Alexis breezed in as she so often did. I could smell the croissants the second she opened the door.

“You’re not going to believe who I ran into,” I said, my voice cracking as I tore off a piece of the croissant Alexis had brought. It flaked onto the desk between us. I wiped it away absently, my mind still replaying the moment with Dean.

“Who? And why do you look like you’ve just seen a ghost?”

“Dean,” I said, the name feeling heavy on my tongue. “I saw Dean.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “No kidding. How’d that go?”

I sighed, leaning back in my chair. “Awkward. Intense. Confusing. Take your pick.”

She smirked, popping a piece of croissant into her mouth. “Details, Portia. Don’t leave me hanging.”

I hesitated, then spilled it all—the way he looked at me, the weight in his voice when he mentioned Seth, the way he didn’t flinch when I touched him but didn’t pull away either. And then, of course, the kiss.

“You kissed him?” Alexis’s eyes widened, her hands freezing mid-air. “On the cheek or what?”

“On the cheek,” I clarified quickly, though my face burned at the implication. “But it wasn’t just a friendly peck. It was—I don’t know. A statement? A question? I don’t even know what I was trying to say.”

Alexis leaned forward, her expression serious now. “What did he do?”

“Nothing,” I said, shrugging helplessly. “He just stood there, looking like I’d slapped him instead of kissed him. And then I walked away.”

She whistled low under her breath. “Damn. That’s intense.”

“Tell me about it,” I muttered. “I don’t even know why I did it. It just felt right in the moment.”

Alexis studied me for a long moment before speaking again. “Do you still have feelings for him?”

The question hit me like a punch to the gut. I opened my mouth to deny it, but the words wouldn’t come. Instead, I slumped forward, resting my elbows on the desk and burying my face in my hands.

“Yes,” I admitted quietly, my voice muffled by my palms. “God help me, Alexis, I think I always will.”

“Maybe it’s not over yet.”

I lifted my head to look at her, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. “How can it not be? He made it clear what he wants—or doesn’t want—from me.”

Alexis shrugged, her lips curving into a knowing smile. “People change, Portia. Maybe Dean has too.”

“He seemed surprised to find out I was staying,” I said.

“See! He didn’t know before. Now, that he does, he’ll probably want to start up again.”

I shook my head. “No way. I don’t want him to only want me if it’s convenient.”

“So,” she said, wiping her hands. “What now?”

“Now I focus on work. On my clients. On building something real here.”

Alexis studied me. “And Dean?”

“Dean made his choice.”

“Did he?” She tilted her head. “Because from where I’m sitting, you both made choices based on fear, not truth.”

I opened my mouth to argue, but the words died on my lips. Because she was right.

I’d been so afraid of failing again, of losing myself in another city, that I’d clung to this town like a lifeline. And Dean? Dean had been so afraid of holding me back that he’d pushed me away entirely.

But fear wasn’t a foundation. And it sure as hell wasn’t love.

“What am I supposed to do, Alexis? Chase after a man who made it clear he doesn’t want to be caught?”

She smiled, slow and knowing. “I think you already know the answer to that.”

Before I could formulate a better argument, my phone rang.

Alexis got to her feet. “I’ll let you get to it. Think about it. I’ll see you later.”