Page 27 of Falling for a Grumpy Hero

“I’d say.” She suddenly frowned. “You know, I saw him that night at the bar. He’s not an ogre.”

“What do you mean?” I asked carefully, but I started to get the feeling that she was finally putting things together in her head after all I’d told her about him. “I never said he was an ogre.”

“No, but you also never said that he was hot, and he is, which makes me wonder why you never mentioned it.”

“Uh, maybe because he’s my boss and I can’t look at him that way?”

“Just because you shouldn’t look at him that way doesn’t mean it’s not happening.” She cocked her head, black-brown eyes boring into mine. “You haven’t really shut up about the guy since you met him. Now he’s showing up at your place after an argument with expensive gifts, and he’s basically given you your dream job, and he’s doing what he can to help you get your certificate.”

“And?”

“And I think you’re running the risk of falling in love with this guy, Lila. Have you noticed how you always make sure to stop while you’re talking about him to mention what kind of guy he is? You haven’t only spoken about him as a boss, but as a man. You’ve told me about his life, and his heart, and even his dog. Employees don’t normally talk about their bosses that way, girl. Not if they’re only a boss to you.”

The statement stopped me in my tracks. Is that true? Am I at risk of falling in love with His Grumpyship?

I was harboring a tiny crush on him, sure. Normal people didn’t talk about their bosses the way I spoke about him. I got that. I didn’t think she’d ever even mentioned her boss to me at all, but being curious, and intrigued, and perhaps a bit attracted to a guy didn’t mean I was falling in love with him.

But I also haven’t been able to get him out of my head. That could be a bigger problem than I thought.

I drained the rest of my beer and shook my head. “Nah. That’s not it at all. Let’s go dance. I’ve got some steam I’m dying to blow off.”

“Yeah, I bet you do.” Addy gave me a knowing look, her head shaking as she chuckled, but she got up and followed me to the area where people had started dancing without pushing me to face the truth. Probably because she knew I didn’t quite know what to do with it.

Am I at risk of falling in love with Ford? And if I am, is it possible that he could ever feel the same way? Is it possible that he’s the one for me even though he’s not what I think I need right now? I honestly just… I really, desperately do not know.

14

FORD

At one of my meetings with Rook in tow, I stroked my fingers through his thick fur and tried to pay attention to what the guys were saying this time. The last couple meetings, I’d really zoned out, but after everything that had happened since I’d received that letter, I knew I had to focus on learning from the guys around me.

Since it was a Saturday night, no one was in as much of a hurry to finish up as they sometimes were and it seemed like a lot of them were taking the opportunity to really unpack the things they hadn’t gotten to before. Most spoke for longer than usual, sharing hair-raising stories of the experiences they had not only overseas, but after they’d come home.

I listened attentively, and while I still wasn’t moved to share more of what I’d been through myself, I did find some measure of comfort in learning that I wasn’t the only one here who struggled with nightmares. The flood of memories out of the blue. The triggers. Even the dark thoughts.

We ran later than usual, but I didn’t mind that either. Truthfully, every time I actually paid attention in these meetings, I really did feel a bit better by the time I left. When we were finally done, Taylor grinned and came up to me from the other side of the circle. “A couple of us are going to go grab a beer. Debrief. That was pretty heavy. Would you like to join us?”

I shook my head. “Thanks, but I’m okay.”

“You sure?” he asked, eyes narrowing like he wasn’t quite convinced, but he shrugged when I nodded. “Alright, well, if you change your mind, we’ll be at Puzzles just over on Church.”

“Maybe next time.”

Taylor dropped his chin in a nod, turning and leaving the basement with some of the others, and I could tell that he hadn’t believed me, but strangely, I had meant it. Maybe next time, I would join them.

For now, however, I walked into the mild summer night with Rook by my side, and I decided not to drive home right away. Taylor hadn’t been wrong about that being a heavy session, so instead of heading for my car, I took off down the sidewalk. A stroll downtown would probably help to clear my head and Rook would enjoy it.

Fresh air. Life all around. No thumping of rotors or an acrid, burning scent in my nostrils.

Sliding my hands into the pockets of my jeans, I exited the church parking lot with Rook trotting beside me and admired the city skyline at night. Along the street, stores were in the process of closing, but the restaurants and bars were lively and packed, music and laughter spilling out of the open windows and doors.

Rook and I side-stepped the crowds, the only two beings outside tonight who didn’t seem to be going anywhere. Everyone else was either already there, chatting to friends on the sidewalk as they waited to gain entry or rushing past us, heads buried in their phones or the devices stuck to their ears as they raced to their destinations.

Once upon a time, I’d have been on my way somewhere on a Saturday night, too. Heading out with friends to grab a drink and to hunt for warm bodies to take to bed with us later on. Although I’d been focused when the occasion had called for it, I’d also been fun.

A long, long time ago. I scoffed out loud, my head turning toward a very busy bar as we passed it. It was one of those contemporary, glass-sided places that had always reminded me of a fishbowl, but the people inside seemed to be enjoying it, drinking, laughing, and dancing.

Warm white bulbs illuminated the festivities and a pang shot through me as I watched from the outside in. Always from the outside in, going on ten years real soon.