Page 78 of Falling for a Grumpy Hero

I held back, though.

We were a thing but not a thing to be shared with the office just yet. A thing I wanted to be more than it was, but it felt like it might be wrong to tell her that. My head was a complete mess and I didn’t know if I would ever be able to change. That chat with Dan had given me a lot to think about and I’d been doing it, but I still wasn’t at a point where I felt like I’d turned a corner.

Yet I was on the verge of telling her that I loved her too. Because I did. I was in much too deep and I hadn’t realized it until right now.

Jared’s voice rang out from the hallway then, completely ruining the moment.

“Ford, have you got a minute? I just need to talk to you about something real quick,” he said as he appeared in the doorway. He glanced between us before he smiled at Lila. “I’ll give him back to you in a few. We just need to go over some stuff for a project I’ve got coming up.”

And just like that, I swallowed the words that would’ve been so damn selfish to say and waved Jared toward my office. It was better this way, even if it didn’t really feel like it right now.

41

LILA

“Ford wants me to redecorate his house.” I couldn’t stop thinking about that moment when I’d realized what he was asking me to do, and it felt even more unbelievable now that I had said it out loud. “He said I could choose the colors and everything.”

Addy and I had met up to shop for a dress for an event she had coming up at work, and she twisted to face me as we strolled through the mall. Her eyes had gone wide and a big grin was spreading her lips. “Please tell me you’re going to do it. Are you going to do it?”

“I think so.” I had been itching to make that house feel like a home since the first time I’d seen it, but I was struggling to process that he’d actually asked me to do it. “Am I crazy for even considering this?”

She chuckled. “No. At least, I don’t think you are.”

“I don’t think I am either, but I’m kind of scared I screw it up, and then what? He’s still my boss. He’s also my… something else. What if he doesn’t like what I do with the place?”

She shrugged. “You’re not building his house, Li. If he doesn’t like something, he can always change it. It’s not like it’ll mean breaking down an entire building.”

“No, I know, but I guess I’m just nervous.” I sighed. “Things have been a little weird between us for the last couple weeks and now this? I feel like there’s a message in him asking me to do it, but I don’t know what it is.”

We veered toward the boutique she’d taken me to before. Glancing at me, she frowned. “Weird how? Are you guys getting serious? Because the message might be that he’s thinking of asking you to move in with him and he wants the place to feel like yours before he does.”

I shook my head. “I really, really like him, but I’m not sure he feels the same. That’s why it’s been weird. I might’ve said something in the heat of the moment that I shouldn’t have and he… didn’t respond very positively.”

She gave my arm a reassuring squeeze. “Maybe he just needed some time to work through it. I still think he’s obsessed with you. What’s your gut telling you?”

“That all arrows are pointing to this being more than just a fling or a casual crush for him too,” I admitted after pausing for a beat. “Were things ever this difficult for you and Taylor?”

Addy paused as we walked into the store, contemplating the question. She exhaled a long, heavy breath. “Every couple has their challenges, especially at the beginning when you’re still trying to feel each other out and figure out what you have, but Taylor wasn’t involved in a helicopter crash that took out everyone else in his unit.”

“Fair enough.” I just really wished I knew how to help Ford heal from that, but I honestly didn’t know if a person really ever could. “Maybe I should go to another support group meeting. Maybe the folks there will know what to do.”

She reached for my hand and held it for a beat. “If you ask me, you should just keep doing what you’re doing. Taylor told me that even the guys in the group are seeing changes in Ford. I know it might not feel like you’re helping him, but you are. You just need to keep letting him take the lead and make progress at his own pace.”

I looked into her eyes and saw the sincerity there, and I realized that she was right. I didn’t need to lead him out of the darkness. I just needed to be there by his side while he found his own way. Telling him that I loved him had been a slip, but that day when he’d come to my apartment after Eliza’s email, he’d said that he cared about me deeply and I had believed him because I’d seen how much he’d meant it.

All I had to do was be patient, be present, and keep trucking. I nodded at my friend. “You know what? You’re right. In the greater scheme of things, he and I aren’t doing badly. I said something I shouldn’t have. He freaked out a bit, but he was still there for me when the crap hit the fan, and we’re moving past it.”

“Good.”

I grinned. “Then let’s go shopping.”

I pumped my eyebrows and pulled her to the section of the store where so many gorgeous dresses were just waiting for her to give one a home. Feeling encouraged and much calmer, I took my time helping her find the perfect outfit, and later, I headed over to Ford’s house.

After his meeting with Jared—which had lasted way more than just a few minutes—he’d seemed exhausted and I’d suggested we spend the night in rather than going out to dinner. He hadn’t said anything about it, but I’d seen him favoring the uninjured leg and I was still concerned about the knee replacement surgery the physical therapist had promised him if he didn’t behave.

Thankfully, he’d agreed, and once I’d told him I was going shopping with Addy and would come over when we were done, he’d headed home. As I pushed my bike up his drive, my phone chimed with an incoming email and my heart shot like a rocket into my throat when I saw that it was from the art institute.

I’d turned in my final project and I’d been waiting for the grades to be posted. I had one more semester ahead of me at the institute before I’d receive my certificate, but now, my professor wanted to meet with me in a few days.