Page 85 of Falling for a Grumpy Hero

Instead, I was just enjoying some quality time with him during which he hadn’t checked out once. Ever since that night, he had been completely present. I’d still seen some sadness in his eyes at times but he hadn’t been consumed by the dark again.

We pulled up outside a small parlor situated right on the beach and climbed out, waiting for Rook to join us. Warm sunshine streamed down from above, not a breath of wind in the air. Ford slipped his hand into mine and tugged me close to his side.

I glanced up at him, smiling when I noticed the deeply satisfied expression on his face. “You’re pretty proud of yourself, aren’t you?”

He smirked. “Nah. I’m just very proud of you, but I knew you weren’t going to get kicked out. Those designs were really good, baby. I’ll just have to work on getting you to believe that.”

I chuckled and slid an arm around his waist, resting my head against his side. “They could’ve mentioned the meeting was a positive thing. I look forward to seeing how you’re going to try to get me to believe that, though.”

“I’ll just keep repeating it over and over again for the rest of our lives until you believe me,” he said easily, reaching for the door handle to let us into the ice cream parlor.

Meanwhile, my heart had just practically stopped beating. The rest of our lives? Did he really just say that? Wow.

Ford kept talking about why he’d liked my designs so much while we ate our ice cream on the beach, watching Rook cautiously sniff around and attempt to bark the waves into submission. Eventually, we got back to my apartment to pack yet another overnight bag for me, which had become our routine lately.

I couldn’t take the suspense anymore. “Back there when we were walking into the ice cream shop, you said you’d keep repeating it for the rest of our lives. What did you mean by that?”

Ford blinked those deep blue eyes a few times, then sat down on the edge of my bed and let his head drop forward. It looked like he was struggling with something, but it only lasted for a moment before he looked at me again.

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

Surprise shot through me and then I laughed, dropping the outfit I’d just chosen for tomorrow on the mattress and walking up to him, my head tilting as I held his gaze. “I thought I already was?”

“Yeah, but I’m a traditional guy and I…” He exhaled and I loved the way he was blushing right now.

“Ford Callahan,” I murmured and slid a hand under his chin, applying the gentlest of pressure until he brought his gaze back to mine. “Would you like to be my boyfriend?”

“I really, really would,” he said, his voice strangely hoarse all of a sudden, as if he was getting choked up.

“Are you okay?” I asked, taking another step closer to put myself between his knees where he was sitting on the bed.

He slanted his head up to look right into my eyes. “I’m fine. Actually, no. I’m not. I do want to be your boyfriend, Lila. I’m just not convinced that it would be fair to you if we actually gave it a real shot.”

“Isn’t that what we’ve been doing?” I frowned, my heart pitter-pattering, but I wasn’t angry or even nervous. I could see that this was coming from somewhere and that he was also going somewhere with it, and if I was being honest, I’d admit that I was just relieved we were finally talking about at least some of the things that had been on his mind. “I kind of thought we’d already covered this.”

“We did. I promised you I’d try, but it feels like we’re getting more serious.” His strong hands found my hips, his feet hooking around mine. “I honestly don’t know that it’s fair to you.”

I pushed my fingers into his hair to let him know I wasn’t going anywhere. “Why are you afraid of that?”

“Because I’m not sure I’m the type of guy you deserve,” he said after clearly struggling for another few seconds. “I’m sure you’ve noticed this, but I’ve got issues.”

I smiled. “Yeah, I think I’ve noticed a few of those.”

He let out a dry bark of a chuckle. “Wonderful.”

He sighed before he flexed his fingers on my hips. “Our entire relationship so far has been this push and pull because I want to give you everything that you deserve, but there are things I can’t seem to work through. I’m always grumpy. I’m often caught in a darkness so thick that I can’t find my way out of it. Like that morning you left after the block party. I could barely breathe that day. There were so many things I wanted to say to you, but I couldn’t speak a word.”

I ran my nails gently across his scalp, noticing the shudder of pleasure that ran through him and smiling again. “You might not see it this way, but you do give me everything that I deserve. You’ve stood up for me, supported me, and been there for me in ways no one else ever has. You encourage me to live my dreams and you give me the courage to actually reach for them.”

His head cocked, his brows raising like he didn’t quite believe me, so I kept going. “Somehow, you always seem to know exactly what I need and you always find a way to give it to me. You show up for me even if it pushes you to edges of your sanity to do it, like when you came to the block party and stayed until after you’d grilled all those burgers even though you were obviously triggered.”

“There was a guy,” he murmured, his voice pained but not as broken as it would’ve been only a few weeks ago. “He was overseas the same time I was. He recognized me. Lives on my fucking street.”

I grimaced. “I’m sorry. You should’ve told me and we could’ve left, but do you see what I mean? You struggled through that. You fought against the darkness. For me. I don’t need sunshine and rainbows, Ford. I’ve got those in spades, more than enough for both of us.”

“So what do you need, then?”

“You,” I said simply. “I know I’ve said it before, but I’ll keep saying it. Over and over again. Just like you promised me you would. I love everything about our relationship.”