Page 106 of Teach Me Your Ways

“But I guess I do fuck students now, don’t I? Is that what you were doing? You were trying to trap me. Congratu-fucking-lations. You did it. What’s the prize?”

I felt like he’d slapped me. The accusation stung, but worse than that, it made me feel sick. I couldn’t believe he thought I’d do something like that. He actually believed I would use him, manipulate him, just to get some kind of favor from the dean.

I had to fight to keep my voice steady. He was the aggrieved party. Not me. I had to allow him to vent. I knew I hurt him and it killed me.

“You think I’d do that?” I asked, my voice trembling. “You think I’d sleep with you just to trap you? To ruin your career? Grady, I didn’t even know who you were when we met at the bar. The chemistry between us is very real. I wanted you that night. It had zero to do with the dean. I didn’t know you were the professor I was supposed to be spying on. I thought you were just some guy who owned a bar. And when I found out, I didn’t tell her anything. Not a damn thing. I’ve never said a word to her. Nothing.”

He stared at me, his jaw clenched, his eyes shooting daggers at me. “Then why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you say something when you realized what she was asking you to do? After that first night at my house. Did you show up and make me fuck you because you needed to give her something?”

“No! And I didn’t make you do anything. Don’t be a dick.”

He arched an eyebrow. “I’m the dick?”

“Maybe I should have told you, but I didn’t know how.”

He pressed his lips together. “You lied to me.”

“I didn’t tell you. But you never asked me. I didn’t lie to you.”

“Oh fuck that,” he growled. “You are not going to twist this around. Am I supposed to ask every woman that lands in my bed if she’s a plant sent by the dean to spy on me?”

“No. But I swear, I didn’t tell her anything.”

He exhaled. “It doesn’t matter now. She got what she wanted.”

I stared at him, my chest tight like an elephant had crawled on top of me. He was right. It didn’t matter what I had or hadn’t told the dean. The damage was done. We’d been caught, and there was no coming back from this. My stomach churned as the reality of the situation hit me like a freight train.

“Grady,” I started, my voice barely above a whisper. “I’m so sorry. I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted to hurt you.”

He turned away from me, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “It’s not just about me, Cece. This affects you too. Your career, your future is all on the line now. Or not. I suppose you could always tell her I manipulated you.”

“No! I wouldn’t do that.”

“Wouldn’t you?” His sad eyes had my heart doing a weird skip. “You were willing to spy to keep the job. I know you’ve got a kid. You’re a mother. You’re going to do whatever it takes to make sure she has what she needs.”

I swallowed hard, the lump in my throat making it difficult to speak. “I’ll take responsibility for my part in this. But, Grady, please believe me when I say I didn’t set you up. What happened between us was real. It still is.”

He turned back to me, his eyes searching mine for any sign of deceit. For a moment, I thought he might soften, but then his jaw tightened again. “It doesn’t change the fact that we screwed up. Big time.”

I nodded, tears welling up in my eyes. “I know we did. And I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.”

He let out a bitter laugh. “Make it right? How do you propose we do that? The dean has all the ammunition she needs to destroy us both. I need to be alone, Cece.”

He walked out of my room and left me sitting in my bed.

If I wasn’t so devastated, I probably would have been embarrassed about the situation. The dean made me feel like I was sixteen and just got caught with a boy in my bedroom. I was an adult. By all technical standards, Grady and I did nothing wrong. We were consenting adults.

But that didn’t matter. Dean Carver had an ax to grind and I was collateral damage. I had no doubt in my mind Lina and Felix knew Grady had spent the night in my room. No point in trying to hide it. I got up and skipped a shower. I was disappointed our dive day wasn’t going to happen, but after what happened with Lina yesterday, Grady had called it. It was time to go home.

I climbed into the back of the van, my bag slung over my shoulder like a dead weight. Felix was already in the driver’s seat, his hands gripping the wheel like he was bracing for a storm. Lina sat beside him, her voice chirping away like nothing had happened. Like she hadn’t almost died yesterday. Like she hadn’t been the reason we were all leaving early. Like she hadn’t called the dean and just imploded Grady’s life and likely mine as well.

“I mean, it was scary, sure,” Lina said in her bubbly tone. “But honestly, I think it brought us all closer, you know? Like, we’re a team now. A family.”

I bit down on the inside of my cheek to keep from scoffing. A family? She had to be kidding. If anything, this trip had torn us apart. Grady wasn’t even here. He’d apparently told Felix he was going to stay behind and do some cataloging and then find his own way back. I didn’t blame him. Not really. But it still hurt.

Felix didn’t say much as he started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. He kept glancing at me in the rearview mirror. I wondered if he knew what had happened this morning. If he’d heard Dean Carver’s voice echoing down the hall. If he’d seen Grady storm out of my room.

Lina kept talking, oblivious to the tension. Felix and Grady were best friends. If Grady told him the whole story, Felix was going to be pissed at me. Again, I couldn’t really blame him either. I was enemy number one. Felix’s career was on the line as well. The dean would probably twist the situation to involve him in some way. And Felix worked in the same department. Did I just implode the whole archeological sciences department?

I was pretty sure the TA position was done. I didn’t know what that meant for me and my future. Was hot sex worth fucking up everything I’d been busting my ass for over the last four years?