Page 64 of Teach Me Your Ways

He snorted. “You’re supposed to be supervising her. Do you have any idea how bad this could get?”

“I know,” I snapped, frustration bubbling over. “Trust me, I know. Everything you want to scream at me right now, I’ve already told myself over and over.”

Felix sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose like he was trying to stave off a headache. “So, what? You two are in love now or something?”

“No, it was just once.” Technically it was three times but one encounter.

“And if I eavesdropped correctly, you’re now excluding her from the dive trip. Is that correct?” He recoiled slightly like he didn’t want to hear the answer.

“I mean, yeah,” I said.

Felix stared at me for a long moment, then shook his head again. “You can’t pull her from the dive trip because you’re feeling guilty. It’s great you want to keep your distance now, but this isn’t the way.”

“It’s not about guilt,” I said quickly, though even as I said it, I wasn’t entirely sure that was true. “There’s a storm coming in—conditions are going to be rough offshore. It’s not safe.”

“And yet you’re still going?” Felix asked.

“That’s different,” I argued.

“How?” he shot back. “Because you think you’re invincible? You’re underwater Superman?”

“Aqua Man,” I said.

“What?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Underwater Superman is just Aqua Man.”

My friend scoffed. “Now is not the time for that conversation and you know it. Stop trying to distract me.”

I sighed. He knew me too well. “Fine.”

Felix pushed off the desk, walking over to me and clapping a hand on my shoulder. “Look, man, everything else aside, you can’t keep her on as a TA.”

“I know.”

He looked at me like he could see straight through me. “You care about her,” he said, his voice quieter now, almost gentle. “Lie to me and everyone else if you want, but if you have real feelings for her, maybe figure out the right way to explore things. Because I’ve never seen you like this.”

“No,” I said, my voice harder than I meant it to be. “There’s nothing there. And there never will be. It was just a lapse in judgment.”

Felix didn’t look convinced. He crossed his arms and leaned back against the desk again, studying me like I was some artifact he was trying to decipher. “Bullshit,” he said simply.

“It’s not bullshit,” I shot back. “She’s my student. My TA. It’s a line I shouldn’t have crossed, yes, and now I’m fixing it.”

“By removing her from the dive trip?” Felix raised an eyebrow. “That’s your idea of fixing it? Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you’re punishing her for something you both did.”

“I’m not punishing her,” I snapped, though the words tasted bitter on my tongue. “I’m protecting her.”

“From what? Herself? The storm? Or from you?”

I opened my mouth to argue but stopped myself. What was the point? Felix had known me long enough to see through every defense I threw up. He knew about the failed relationships, the one-night stands that never went anywhere, the walls I built so high no one could climb them.

“She has a kid,” I said finally, my voice quiet now. “A five-year-old daughter.”

Felix nodded slowly, understanding dawning in his eyes. “Imagine that. The brave Grady Stone is finally scared of something.”