Page 105 of Falling for the Playboy Pilot

“Fine.”

We fell into a silence so thick I could barely breathe. The tension was filled with every angry breath we took. I kept opening my mouth to say something cutting, something that would hurt him the way he’d hurt me, but the words died in my throat. What was the point? He’d made his position crystal clear.

By the time we reached the airfield, I felt emotionally wrung out. The truck had barely stopped before I was out of it, not bothering to slam the door because that would require more energy than I had left.

“Janna—” he started.

“Don’t,” I said without turning around. “Just don’t.”

He didn’t follow me. I heard his footsteps heading toward the hangar while I made my way to the dorms, my legs feeling like lead. All I wanted was a hot shower and to pretend the last twenty-four hours had never happened.

I went straight to my room, stripped out of my clothes, and jumped into the shower.

I’d been an idiot. A complete and total idiot for thinking things could be different with him. For thinking I could be the one to break through his walls. He’d told me exactly who he was from the beginning, and I ignored it.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, Cheryl was sitting on the bed.

“I ran into Herc,” she said. “And judging by his ‘fuck off’ attitude, I had a feeling you might need to talk.”

I snorted. “He’s an asshole. I said it yesterday and I’m saying it again now. Screw him.”

“What happened? When you left yesterday, things seemed good.”

I flopped on my bed. “It’s so done. I’m not playing this game.”

“What happened?” She got up and moved to sit beside me on my bed.

I trembled. “I made a joke. But it set him off.”

I told Cheryl about the toothbrush comment and watched her face shift from confusion to disbelief.

“Are you serious?” she said. “He lost his mind over a toothbrush?”

“Completely lost it. Started going on about how I was testing boundaries and trying to get more than we agreed on. Like I was trying to move in or something.” I pulled a pillow over my face and screamed into it. “It was a joke about morning breath, Cheryl. Morning breath!”

She shook her head. “That man has some serious issues.”

“The worst part is how he completely shut down. One minute we’re having breakfast like a normal couple, the next he’s treating me like I’m some clingy psycho trying to trap him.” I sat up, anger flooding through me again. “And then he had the nerve to say he regretted everything. Everything, Cheryl. The whole thing.”

“He was trying to hurt you.”

“Well, mission accomplished.” I felt tears threatening again and blinked them back furiously. “I’m done. I’m so done with his hot and cold bullshit. One day he’s fighting guys over me, the next he’s acting like I’m a disease he needs to avoid.”

Cheryl was quiet for a moment. “You know what you need?”

“A lobotomy?”

She laughed. “A distraction. And maybe to show him exactly what he’s missing.”

“I’m not playing games. I’m not going to flirt with other guys to make him jealous. That’s high school shit.”

“I’m not talking about making him jealous. I’m talking about you remembering that you’re worth more than whatever scraps he’s willing to throw you.” She stood up. “Get dressed. We’re going into town.”

“I don’t want to go into town.”

“Too bad. You’re not going to sit in here and mope over some emotionally constipated pilot who doesn’t know a good thing when it’s staring him in the face.”

I groaned but got up anyway. Maybe she was right. Maybe I needed to get out of here, away from the airfield and any chance of running into Dalton. At least for a few hours.

“Fine. But I’m not putting on makeup.”

“Deal. But you’re wearing something that shows off those sexy legs.”

I rolled my eyes. “What about work?”

“We’re in a sit and wait mode,” she said. “they’ll let us know if they need us.”

In her car, I slumped in her seat. I wasn’t trying to hide, but I was also not trying to have anyone look at me.

I caught a glimpse of him and quickly looked away. I couldn’t explain why I was so attached to a man that wanted nothing to do with me. He was so protective and I understood that he was scared. I didn’t hate him for it. But I needed more than fear. I needed him to risk it once. And I wasn’t trying to get him to promise me forever.

“You know about Martinez?” Cheryl asked.

“Yes.”

“He’s protective of his heart because half his brain is stuck with Ozzy. He’s just not there yet. Give him space. But don’t back away.”

“I can’t put myself in his path again,” I said. “I won’t do that to myself. Or him. I’m just going to focus on work.”