Page 85 of Trick or Tease

I stepped out onto the porch and just stood there for a few seconds. The morning air hit me like a soothing wave, crisp and clean, carrying the faint scent of damp earth and freshly cut hay. It was so different from the air in Manhattan. Back there, it always smelled like exhaust, coffee, and the faint tang of metal. And if I’m being honest, hot garbage. That shit was everywhere on the sidewalks.

I took a deep breath, letting Mother Nature fill my lungs. The quiet was almost overwhelming. No horns blaring, no sirens wailing, no hum of distant traffic. Just silence, broken only by the faint rumble of a tractor in the distance. It had to be harvesting wheat or corn or maybe the last hay cutting. I couldn’t remember the difference anymore, but things were coming back to me day by day.

I leaned against the porch railing, my fingers curling around the worn wood. The peace here was something I hadn’t realized I’d been missing. In the city, I was always on, always moving, always thinking three steps ahead. Here, I could just be. The tension in my shoulders eased, the knot in my chest loosening just a notch.

I closed my eyes, letting the stillness settle over me. For a moment, I forgot about the appraisal, the firm, the guilt gnawing at the edges of my thoughts. All I felt was the breeze on my skin, the faint warmth of the sun breaking through the morning. It was simple, pure, and I wanted to hold on to it for as long as I could.

31

SABRINA

Ilay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. It was early. Birds were singing and roosters were announcing the new day. I needed to get up and get moving, but I was giving myself a couple of minutes to process.

I got home late last night. And my back was a little sore. Nothing that would slow me down but a definite reminder of lying on the hard floor in the house.

Again.

It was funny that we seemed to take over the house. We christened a few rooms last night. If there were ghosts in that place, they were probably performing exorcisms after what they saw last night.

The things that man did to my body should be illegal. And I wanted him again. I had a feeling Garrett was going to be a really hard habit to break. He was definitely making me think about things I never thought I would. Especially with him.

Billy’s brother.

My childhood buddy.

The guy that chased me with snakes, pushed me into mud puddles, and held my hand when he walked me home when I was seven and he was ten. Garrett had always been a part of my life. Kind of like a tree in the yard or that old chair in the corner. He had just always been there. When he moved away to go to college, there had been a real hole.

Eventually, we all learned to go on with our lives without our fourth. The three of us did fine, but those first few years he was gone, we talked about him a lot. We all missed him. It was probably about the third or fourth year he was gone when we figured out he did not miss us. He had made new friends and his visits home just stopped.

I knew it was tough for Billy to lose his brother, who he always looked up to. Lucy and I did our best to fill that gap, but nothing could replace a big brother. And then as Lucy and Billy got more serious, I felt myself slowly drifting away. Not because they made me feel like a third wheel, but I didn’t want to get in the way. They wanted and needed each other. They deserved to grow their relationship without worrying about me.

And now Garrett was back.

Temporarily.

I threw off the blankets and got my ass out of bed. I was going to drive myself crazy if I lay there any longer thinking about all the what-ifs. I went into the bathroom and grinned when I saw the state of my hair.

It was a mess. There was a red mark just below my ear and another one on my neck. All evidence of Garrett’s very thorough and eager lovemaking.

I turned on the shower, cranking up the hot water and waiting for the pipes to groan and moan before the water warmed up. I stripped and climbed in, then hissed when the water hit the rough spots on my knees and along my spine.

It was a good pain.

I had to condition my hair twice to get all the tangles out. By the time I stepped out of the shower, I felt squeaky clean. As I dried off, I took note of the many bruises on my hips, thighs and even on one wrist. That only made me smile bigger. Today was definitely a long-sleeve, high-collar day. Didn’t want to scandalize the overprotective mamas.

I dressed in jeans, a long-sleeved shirt and pulled on my Aerosmith T-shirt over the top. It was country chic. One day I’d like to put on a pretty dress and heels to show Garrett I could clean up nice when I wanted to but it wouldn’t be when I was giving hayrides and running around the farm all day.

I had a feeling I would never clean up enough to look like his Manhattan women.

Last night he told me I was beautiful no less than a hundred times. It certainly felt honest. He made me feel like I was the only woman in the world that could turn his head.

That tiny little doubting bitch in the back of my mind was trying to mess with me. That little voice telling me I would never be good enough. That Garrett was just using me because I was the only warm, willing body in Greenleaf.

That wasn’t true. There were plenty of willing women. And even if Garrett just cared about the sex, he was fucking amazing, making me feel things I would remember till the day I died.

I went downstairs, finding my parents already gone for the day.

“Burning daylight,” I murmured and started some coffee.