Page 113 of Fake it for Keeps

“Get off at the next floor,” I said, staring at the numbers.

“No.” Hallie hit the emergency stop button, and the elevator jerked to a halt between floors. “Not until you listen to me.”

“There’s nothing to listen to.”

“Yes, there is.” She moved in front of me, forcing me to look at her. “You’re right. I signed the contract for revenge. I was hurt and angry about what happened in high school, and I wanted to hurt you back.”

“Well, congratulations.” My voice was flat. “Mission accomplished.”

“Bull shit! I didn’t go through with it!” Her hands gripped my arms. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I changed my mind. I fell for you, Colt. Actually fell for you.”

“How convenient. Right before the wedding. Right before your next big payday.”

“It wasn’t convenient. It’s actually been a giant pain in the ass.” She was crying openly now. “Every day I kept meaning to tell you the truth, but I was scared. Terrified you’d look at me exactly the way you’re looking at me right now.”

“And how am I looking at you?”

“Like you hate me.”

I should tell her that wasn’t true. That I could never hate her. But the words stuck in my throat.

Because maybe I did hate her. A little. For making me believe this was real. For shattering my chance to ever fall in love. Have a family. Grow old with someone. Because she ruined that. I would never trust anyone again. I would never open my heart again. I could already feel the damn thing icing over. Soon, it would just be the thing that pumped blood through my body. Nothing but a necessary, functioning organ.

“I need you to understand where I was coming from,” Hallie continued. “I was seventeen when you stood me up. Humiliated. Everyone in my life made me feel like I was stupid for thinking you could ever want me. That hurt stuck with me for years, Colt. It shaped how I saw myself. It destroyed my self-confidence. I looked at myself in the mirror and tried to see what exactly it was that you didn’t like. I looked at my boobs, butt, belly and saw every imperfection. I felt ugly. It took me a long time to accept myself for who I was, and if handsome boys didn’t like me or want me, so be it.”

“So you decided to do the same thing to me? That’s your logic?”

“Well, to be clear, you hired me to pretend all this. My plan came after, when it was clear you had no idea you had stood me up when we were kids.” She grabbed my hands. I let her, too numb to pull away. “I was angry, but in my defense, screw you for ghosting me back then for a better party, and screw you for forgetting who I was. You did one shitty thing after another. So I wanted to do something shitty back.”

She squeezed my hands. “But then I got to know you. The real you. And I realized you weren’t the asshole guy who ditched me without a second thought. You were just a person who made a mistake when he was a kid.”

“When did you realize this?” I asked. “You’ve had plenty of opportunities to tell me the truth, and you chose not to.”

“I know. And that was wrong. But, Colt, I think I’m in love with you. I don’t think it. I know it. And I don’t want to hurt you. I never want to hurt you. Not anymore.”

The words that should have made my heart soar felt hollow. Because how could I trust them? How could I trust anything she said now?

The elevator dinged. The doors started to open on the ground floor. I pulled my hands from hers and stepped out into the lobby.

“Colt, don’t walk away.”

“I need time,” I said without turning around. “To think. To figure out what the fuck I’m supposed to do now.”

“The wedding is in six days.”

“I’m aware.”

“What are you saying? Are you calling it off? Should I still show up?”

I finally turned to look at her. She stood there in the elevator doorway, tears running down her face, looking broken and beautiful and like everything I’d thought I wanted.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t know anything anymore.”

I walked away, through the lobby, out onto the street. People moved around me like water around a stone, and I just kept walking with no destination in mind.

My phone started buzzing in my pocket. Frankie, probably. Or Hallie. Or both.

I ignored it.

All I could think about was the past six weeks.

Had any of it been real?

The lunch she’d brought me. Had that been part of the plan?

The dinner she’d cooked. Part of the plan?

I thought about the nightmares that had stopped. The way I’d felt like I was finally healing. The way I’d told Frankie just this afternoon that I was letting my heart lead because I was sure Hallie had feelings too.

God, I was such a fucking idiot.

I’d fallen for someone who only wanted to hurt me. Who’d seen me as a target, not a person. Who’d played me so perfectly I’d never even suspected. It was the best form of karma ever. The universe should be proud. All those women in my past were probably going to give her a trophy. Make a statue in her likeness. Finally, someone took down the playboy.

I believed in love once, and it had been ripped away from me in the most brutal way possible.

At least with Lauren, I hadn’t seen it coming. Hadn’t had time to brace for impact.

With Hallie, I’d been looking right at the car crash and had driven straight into it anyway.