Page 31 of Hate To Be Mine

“Food and beverages are for crew only.”

“I am part of the crew.”

“No, you’re not. You’re the insurance lady.” She said it like it was a disease. “Put it down.”

I set the water bottle back in the cooler, my face burning with humiliation. “Can I just buy one then? I’ll pay whatever you want.”

“This isn’t a store. I’m not set up to handle transactions.” She crossed her arms. “You’re on your own, lady.”

“Look, we all have a job to do on this campaign. I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to keep people safe.”

“Good,” the woman said, her expression unchanging. “Because you definitely haven’t made any friends.”

The words were harsh. And painful. I left the tent, blinking against the sudden brightness of the sun, feeling like I might be sick.

I was thirsty. I was hot. I was exhausted from stress and lack of sleep and the weight of everyone’s hatred pressing down on me.

And I couldn’t even get a bottle of water.

Miratoa didn’t have a nearby convenience store I could just walk to. There was no Uber to take me anywhere. We were in an untouched area, deliberately isolated, and I was trapped here with fifty people who wished I would disappear.

I’d never felt so unwelcome anywhere in my life.

I wandered away from the shoot, following the beach until I was out of sight of the crew. My eyes were burning. My throat was tight. I told myself it was just dehydration. I was overheated and stressed.

But I knew better.

I found a rock tucked behind some vegetation, hidden from view and out of the direct sun. I sat down and waited for someone to jump out of the bushes and tell me I wasn’t allowed to sit on the rock either.

After several minutes, it seemed like the coast was clear. That’s when I let the tears fall.

Not the delicate, pretty kind of crying from movies. The ugly kind. The kind where your whole body shakes and you can’t catch your breath and you sound like a wounded animal. I pressed my hands over my face, trying to muffle the sounds. I tried to maintain some shred of dignity even when I was completely alone.

I was going to mess this whole thing up. Correction, not going to. I already did mess it up. Day one, and I’d made an enemy of Sebastian, alienated the entire crew, and proven myself to be as lovable as an STD.

I was certain there would be complaints made. My father was going to be so disappointed.

He was going to be angry, of course. He was going to tell me I embarrassed the company and proved I wasn’t ready for this level of responsibility. But it was the disappointment I couldn’t bear. It was a million times worse than him just being angry with me.

A sob tore through me, and I pressed my hands harder against my face. I was so thirsty. So hot. So alone.

I’d been alone before. I lived alone, worked alone, spent most of my time alone. But that was by choice.

This was isolation. This was being surrounded by people and feeling more alone than I’d ever felt in my empty apartment. They actively disliked me, which was far worse than simply going unnoticed.

And the worst part of the whole damn situation was that I wasn’t even sure I’d been wrong.

That cliff edge had been unstable. I’d proven it. If Clarissa had gone out there, if she’d fallen and something terrible had happened, that would have been on me. That would have been my failure to prevent a tragedy when I had the power to stop it.

There probably was a better way to handle Sebastian, but he wasn’t going to listen to words. I had to show him.

My father had taught me that insurance was about saying no. He had been very clear about finding loopholes and protecting the company’s interests above all else. He’d never taught me how to work with people or work as a team.

And now I was paying the price for that miseducation.

Another wave of sobs hit me. I let it run its course, alone on my rock, hidden from view. Maybe if I got it all out now, I could pull myself together before I had to face them all again. I knew I was dehydrated, which meant I didn’t have the tears to spare.

The sun beat down. Sweat mixed with tears on my face. My head pounded.