Page 68 of Bound To Be Mine

“I should go,” I said. “Early flight and all.”

“I’ll walk you out.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

I paused at the door and turned to look at him. “So, I guess I’ll see you soon?”

“Soon,” he agreed.

I wanted to say something else. Something meaningful. But honestly, what could I say?

By the time I made it back to my own hotel room, the post-sex glow had faded, replaced by the cold steel of reality.

I told myself it was fine. We had fun. And now it was over. He would go back to his life and I would go back to mine.

I got into bed and tried not to think about how much I already missed him.

21

BRIGGS

The penthouse was quiet in a way that had never bothered me before. In the years I’d lived here, the quiet had been fine. It was welcome, in fact.

The building was secure. No one dropped by uninvited. No noise came up from the floor below, because the floor below was also mine. The city was seen and not heard from my ivory tower. I had chosen this apartment specifically for these qualities. I paid a significant amount of money for all those perks. I had never once come home to find my apartment lacking anything. It was the epitome of luxury.

But now, I felt everything I didn’t have.

I ordered dinner from a restaurant two blocks away. Same place I ordered dinner from at least two nights a week. Dinner for one. Always. Me eating a meal alone. Again.

The penthouse had a second living room I rarely used. Floor-to-ceiling windows on two sides. It was a good room. Objectively. On the few occasions I’d had family over, everyone had gone directly to the windows.

I went and stood at the windows after my lonely dinner and looked at the city. It occurred to me, not for the first time since landing, that I was fucking married.

To a woman I had known for less than a week. She lived on the other side of the country. I had her phone number and I knew her last name, but that was about all I knew about her. Well, that and she was an event planner.

I supposed I knew more than that. She liked pink. She was funny when she wasn’t scowling at me and thinking I was a drag. And I couldn’t believe she got me to do karaoke. I didn’t care that I was drunk and didn’t remember doing it. I had definitely done it and there was plenty of proof of it. As embarrassing as it was, it was nice to have proof I wasn’t the absolute stiff my brothers thought I was. I could have fun. I could let my hair down.

I had tried to pinpoint the moment in my life that I shut off my sense of humor. It wasn’t that it was shut off. More like it was hidden. Stashed away.

In the days and weeks after my father died, it felt wrong to laugh or feel any kind of joy. And just like anything else in life, the longer I went without laughing and finding joy in the dumbest things, the easier it got to be subdued. I watched that light fade in Adrian as well. It felt wrong to be happy when he was struggling. Sebastian and Dash got to be the carefree brothers. I had to stand beside Adrian. I did my best to shoulder some of his burden.

But he shucked the sadness and was now happier than he’d ever been. And he only got to have that because of Elizabeth.

What if Mandy is the one who can bring me back to the land of the living?

When you shut off the light, it was hard to turn it back on. The alcohol removed the obstacles and gave me the chance to feel that kind of excitement for life. Mandy gave me the courage to do it.

My father had worked himself to death at sixty-three. I had watched him do it. And then I managed to step into the same pattern. The company needed protecting. The brothers needed supporting. The deals needed closing and the contracts needed reviewing and the litigation needed managing. There was always more to do. After Dad died there was even more because the weight that had been his was now distributed among the four of us.

I also believed that it was possible to do the right thing until you forgot there were other things.

Not a lot of time for carriage rides and roller coasters.

I went to bed at ten-fifteen, which was earlier than usual. It was intentional. I didn’t want to run on five hours of sleep because I’d been up late reviewing a contract or something else. Now, if I was running on five hours of sleep because I’d been having amazing sex with a hot lady? That would be a different story.

The following morning I hit the gym, drank a protein shake, and headed into the office.