Page 101 of Have To Be Mine

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying we can’t work when we get back to New York. This only exists here, in Greece. In this bubble where reality doesn’t apply. But back home? I’ll smother you. I’ll try to control everything because that’s all I know how to do. I’ll crush your spirit with my need for structure and predictability.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.” I felt my heart breaking all over again. “I’ve done it before. I had a boyfriend a long time ago. He was fun and spontaneous, and I slowly suffocated him with my routines and my rules until he couldn’t take it anymore. I drove him away. I’ll do the same thing to you.”

Dash stepped forward. My heart pounded impossibly harder. “What if I don’t care?” he asked.

“You should care. You deserve someone who can match your energy, who can be spontaneous and fun and encourage you to do shit like this. We both know I would have told you to shut this down. I would have stopped the magic.”

“What if I want someone who challenges me? Who makes me better? Who sees through all my bullshit and calls me on it?” His eyes were blazing now. “What if I want you, Krista? All of you. The rigid routines and the control issues and the walls. What if I want to help you tear those walls down instead of running away when they get too high?”

I was dying. I was certain of it. I knew if I looked down, I would see my chest actually cracked open. “Dash, please don’t make this more difficult than it already is.”

“You’re the one making this all complicated when it could be very simple.” He reached for my hand. “You think you’re going to smother me? I think you’re going to keep me grounded. You think you’ll crush my spirit? I think you’ll help me focus it into something meaningful instead of scattering it in a million directions.”

“You don’t understand.”

“I understand that you’re scared. You’ve convinced yourself you’re not worthy of love because you’re not perfect. But here’s the thing, Krista.” He lifted my hand to his chest, pressing it against his heart. “I don’t want perfect. I want real. And you’re the most real thing I’ve ever had.”

A sob escaped my throat before I could stop it. “This is the best trip of my life. Being here with you, seeing you become the man you were always capable of being, has been amazing. But this love? It has to stay here, in Greece. It has to remain a beautiful memory instead of something we try to force into our real lives.”

“I don’t want that.” His voice was fierce now, almost desperate. “I don’t want a memory. I want you. In New York, in my life, every single day. Sure, it might eventually not work out, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t give it a try at all.”

I looked up at him through the rain and tears, memorizing every detail of his face. I wanted to say yes. God, I wanted to say yes more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life.

But I knew myself. I knew my patterns. I knew that six months from now, when the newness wore off and reality set in, I’d start trying to control him, to fit him into my structured life. And eventually, he’d resent me for it.

Better to end it now, while we still had something beautiful to remember.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. Then I pulled my hand from his chest, stepped forward on my toes, and kissed him.

I pulled back. “Goodbye, Dash.”

33

DASH

Istood at the window of the Blackwell Couture offices and watched the city below. It had been three weeks since Santorini, and New York felt like a completely different planet. I’d stood in this exact place countless times before, but I felt like a different person. It should have felt good to be back.

Instead, it felt hollow. My heart was in Greece. Or maybe it’s in New York now or wherever Krista landed. She has it. I don’t know if I’ll ever get it back.

“Earth to Dash.”

I turned to find Briggs and Adrian both watching me. We’d been in the conference room for the last hour, going over numbers and projections and all the boring shit that came after a successful campaign. The Santorini show had exceeded every expectation. Sales were through the roof. The social media buzz hadn’t died down yet. By every measurable metric, I crushed it.

But I didn’t feel like celebrating.

“Sorry,” I said, moving away from the window. “What were you saying?”

“I was saying Mom’s already planning her next charity venture,” Adrian said, leaning back in his chair. “Something about funding art programs in underprivileged schools. She wants our input on the gala planning.”

“Of course she does.” I managed a smile. “What does she need from us?”

“Mostly just to show up and look pretty,” Briggs said. “The usual.”

Adrian’s phone buzzed. He turned into a completely different man as he stared at the screen. He turned the screen toward us. “Buck said ‘Seb’ this morning.”