Page 89 of Have To Be Mine

I sat there until the sky went completely dark and the stars came out. I was hungry, but I didn’t dare go downstairs. I forced myself to stand and go inside. I had a couple of protein bars in my bag. That would suffice until tomorrow. I couldn’t face him. I was embarrassed and ashamed of my behavior earlier.

Tomorrow I’d put my professional mask back on. I’d do my job, help him pull off this runway show, and make sure everything ran smoothly. That’s what I was good at. That’s what I knew how to do.

And then I’d go home and start the process of forgetting what it felt like to be in his arms. I’d go back to my contracts and my routines and my carefully controlled life. I was never taking a job like this one again. Only the ugliest, oldest clients.

Eventually, it would stop hurting.

I crawled into the unfamiliar bed in the smaller bedroom and pulled the covers up to my chin. The sheets smelled like lavender. Not him. I wanted the smell of him smacking me in the face. I liked the feeling of him holding me. His presence was so comforting. It was like I could just put my guard down and be a normal person for five minutes.

I closed my eyes and tried not to think about him sleeping alone one floor below me. Tried not to imagine him lying awake, hating me for what I’d said. Or how I’d hurt him.

But sleep was a long time coming, and when it finally did, my dreams were all about him.

29

DASH

Islept like shit. The bed felt too big without her in it, and every time I closed my eyes, I saw that look on her face when I’d walked away from her on set. Not angry. Not defiant. Just hollow. After a restless night, I was no closer to understanding what the hell had happened between us.

The production site was a hive of activity when I arrived. Crews everywhere, final touches being made to the runway, lighting tests in progress. I threw myself into it, grateful for the distraction. Every time I started thinking about Krista, I found something else that needed my attention.

She was there, of course. Moving through the chaos with that military precision, clipboard in hand, solving problems before they became disasters. We didn’t speak directly. We didn’t need to. We could coordinate without words.

But I felt her absence like a physical ache. It hurt. I had never felt emotional pain like this over a woman. This was an ache in my actual fucking heart. I had never felt it before, and I knew I never wanted to feel it again. The dismal feeling was confirmation that I was better off avoiding relationships and romantic entanglements. I had always thought love was for suckers, and I had been absolutely right.

Around noon, I noticed Krista standing near the edge of the set, staring at her phone. I was about to look away when I caught a glimpse of her screen. It was the photo.

The one that had started circulating on social media yesterday. Someone on the crew in Corfu must have snapped it and posted it. Krista and me, standing close together on set, both of us smiling. Her looking up at me like I’d just said something funny. Me looking down at her like she was the only person in the world.

I’d seen it. Hell, I’d saved it to my phone last night before I could stop myself. I had been tagged in the thing no less than a thousand times. I had to remove the tag but it didn’t stop others from tagging me. It was a good picture. The first, last, and only picture of us.

She caught me watching and quickly locked her screen, slipping the phone into her pocket. Then she turned and walked away without a word.

Great. She was going to think I was keeping the thing going or that I had something to do with posting it.

By late afternoon, I was running on fumes and caffeine when my phone buzzed with a text from Adrian.

We’ve landed. Where should we meet you?

Right. My family. That’s exactly what I needed to deal with.

I gave him the address to the villa and told him I’d be there in an hour. Then I spent the next thirty minutes making sure everything on set was locked down for the night. Tomorrow was the show. Everything needed to be perfect.

Krista was nowhere to be seen when I finally left. I assumed she’d already gone back to the villa. Or maybe she was avoiding me. Probably both.

I didn’t go to my villa. I went to the one Adrian and his little family were staying in. Mom was holding Buck, bouncing him on her hip while he shrieked with delight. Elizabeth was unpacking what looked like half of Bucky’s nursery from an enormous bag. Adrian was on his phone, probably still working despite being on vacation. Briggs and Mandy were on the couch, his arm around her shoulders, both of them looking relaxed.

And there, standing by the window with a drink in his hand like he owned the place, was Callum. I couldn’t really pinpoint why I was irritated by his presence. He’d never done anything to me. He was actually a decent guy. We were family and now business partners. It just felt like he was sticking his toe in my sandbox.

“Dash!” Mom spotted me first and immediately shifted Bucky to her other hip so she could pull me into a hug. “Sweetheart, you look exhausted.”

“This thing has a lot of moving parts, but I’m hanging in there.” I hugged her back, then rubbed a hand over Bucky’s head. “Hey, Buckaroo. You ready to see your uncle kill it tomorrow?”

Bucky grabbed my nose and laughed.

“I can’t wait to see the set,” Elizabeth said. “Sebastian made such a big deal about it.”

“It’s good,” I said.