Page 75 of Taming the Kraken

She heard the concern in his voice, and she realized she’d been quiet this whole time. “I’m sorry. I guess I am tired.” She listened to his agitated sigh, and she glanced up from his chest to see his eyes fixed on the door of the Great Sage’s library.

“Are they pushing you too hard? Bella, you⁠—”

“No, they aren’t. It’s just been a lot for one day is all. A lot of firsts. A lot of excitement. And then preparing to remove the glass from Alexa’s eye … It’s a lot for one day.” Bella’s lips curled upward as she tried to give him a reassuring smile.

“I’ll walk you to your room.” Brian looked at her with a bit of uncertainty before he gently corralled her down the hall. He kept her tucked in his arm, allowing his warmth to wash over her. Her body was still leaning into his in a more familiar fashion than she had before. His beast was growling in contentment as he tried to manage his flame that burned for her.

Alexa pushed the bathroom door open, finding Ken and Mikah both standing right outside. She chuckled and stepped into Ken’s side and glanced up at his paper bag head. He was looking at her through the slits, and her insides ached to see him. But she knew under that bag she wouldn’t see her Ken. Instead, she turned her head into his side and closed her eyes, allowing herself to breathe in his scent and visualize his face.

“Has … uh, everything … settled down?” Mikah asked as he cleared his throat. He glanced over at Alexa, who turned toward him.

Before Alexa could answer, she heard the door, and Brian and Bella emerged from the stairs. The moment Alexa saw Bella’s face, she knew something was wrong. Alexa left Ken’s side and walked over to them. Brian was looking down at Bella in confusion and then glanced up at Alexa.

“She said she’s just tired, but—” Brian started, and Alexa grabbed Bella’s hand.

“I’ll go and get her a change of clothes.” Alexa tucked Bella’s hand in her arm and smiled over at her. “You’re tinier than I am, but I think I have some things that’ll fit. And tomorrow we’ll have to go clothes shopping for you. I’m surprised you didn’t pack anything to bring with you.”

“I really didn’t have much to bring,” Bella whispered. “I didn’t go anywhere anyway.”

Alexa ushered Bella into her room and shut the door. She turned and looked at Bella curiously.

“Okay, talk to me. What happened?”

Bella’s gray eyes widened, and she shook her head slowly.

“I’m just tired is all,” she whispered. Alexa laughed softly, placing her hand on her shoulder.

“That might work with Brian, but you’ll need to do better than that with me. Trust me. I use those excuses myself. You can talk to me.” Alexa gave Bella a reassuring smile.

“How did you know?” Bella whispered, and Alexa shrugged.

“Your eyes. They look … scared, I guess. You don’t look like your normal self. Not that I’m an expert on what your normal self looks like. I could just tell.” Alexa laughed and shrugged. “Maybe because I’m an expert at trying to hide things. Anyway, you can talk to me. What’s bothering you? Is it the stuff you’re training to do for me? Is it really scary?”

“Oh, no no no. It’s nothing like that.” Bella tucked her bottom lip in as her emotions swirled inside her. She glanced at the door.

“Don’t worry. They can’t hear us.” Alexa smiled as Bella’s shoulders dropped slightly.

“It’s just that … I started feeling things I’ve never felt before. I don’t know if it’s in my head or what it is. But I’m—I’m afraid.” Bella exhaled and clutched her chest as she took ragged breaths. “I don’t know if I want … one. I don’t know if—” Her bottom lip quivered, and she slammed her eyes shut.

“Bella,” Alexa whispered and walked up to her. She wrapped her arms around her and hugged her gently. “Brian is a great guy. There’s nothing to be afraid of. It sounds like you’re suppressing the mate pull. You’re willingly blocking your beast, aren’t you?”

“You don’t understand.” Bella sniffled quietly against Alexa’s chest as tears glistened at the corners of her eyes. “The real truth about why I was with Shiva.” Her breath shuddered as she clung to Alexa. Her emotions began to run out of her as her body trembled and the tears fell. “My mother was ripped away from me. She was taken because she was a crystal dragon. And my father was killed trying to save her. Then they came for me. Shiva saved me and took me in. She went looking for my mother, but it was too late. I was young but not so young that I don’t remember.”

“Oh, Bella, I’m so sorry. Thank goodness Shiva found you. But Bella, what does that have to do with Brian?”

Bella sniffled, pulling away to look up into Alexa’s eyes.

“Don’t you see? My father was strong, and my mother was still taken from him. He was killed trying to protect my mother.”

Understanding dawned on Alexa’s face.

“Because he loved your mother. Bella, don’t let fear stop you from being happy. Don’t live your life like that. You’re safe here. And even if you don’t take a mate, we would all fight to protect you. Do you think that by not accepting your mate you’re protecting him?”

Bella shook her head. “I don’t want—I don’t want for my children to go through what I did,” she said in a strangled voice, hiccupping between breaths.

“I understand your fear. I understand why you’re so timid around other people. But that isn’t fair. It isn’t fair to you. Listen, take your time with the mate pull if you need to. Just because you feel it doesn’t mean you have to jump into Brian’s bed⁠—”

“But I want to!” Bella cried out. She closed her eyes, and tears glistened as they trailed down her cheeks. “And that terrifies me even more. I feel like I don’t have any control over my body. Like these actions aren’t my own. I’ve never felt this before. It’s so powerful, and I don’t understand it.”