Page 102 of Regrets

Mr. Darcy looked over his shoulder at his wife as he left, and she gave him a quick nod, understanding at once what was required.

Elizabeth turned to the Countess and said, “Aunt Eleanor, I am not certain why, but Georgiana seemed uncomfortable at the idea of being with us during our first week of marriage.”

The Countess shook her head. “I cannot understand it; surely she knows that there are enough rooms in the house that she need not…well, hear anything, if you take my meaning.”

“I do, yes.” Elizabeth hesitated. She could not speak of what had happened to Georgiana, but she could at least warn the Countess to allow for poor Georgiana’s somber mood. “But I hope you will make allowances for her if she is a bit moody. It has been an eventful winter for her and it is best not to press her on the subject. But I assure you that I love her dearly and will do my very best to make her comfortable with having a Mrs. Darcy in residence.”

“She has always been rather –“ But the Countess broke off as the subject of their discussion re-entered the drawing room.

“There, I think that is everything,” Georgiana announced. “But you will come and visit me, will you not, Brother? Lizzy?”

She was reassured on that score, and so seemed content enough when Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth took their leave.

The two sat in silence for a moment as the carriage moved forward, and then they sighed in unison.

“Does it not seem to you, Elizabeth, that she was far too quiet on the journey here?”

Elizabeth nodded. “As I think on it, she has been rather quiet for some time. There was so much activity involved in planning the wedding – well, three weddings! – that I think we did not notice.”

Mr. Darcy shook his head. “Will she never be well again?” he whispered.

“It will be all right,” Elizabeth told her husband. “She will see us happy together and she will recover.” She was not at all certain that it would be as easy as that, but she did not wish to see her new husband so somber.

“I am sorry, Elizabeth,” he sighed. “I will not allow my fears to spoil our time together.”

“Our fears, Fitzwilliam, not your fears. Let us make an agreement. During the day, we will work and plan together as to how to ease Georgiana’s very natural reaction to what happened to her, but the moment the sun sets, that time belongs to us and us alone.”

“I agree completely!” Mr. Darcy said. He took his wife’s face in his hands and kissed her quite thoroughly.

***

Georgiana fell down on the bed in the Blue Room. It had taken all her strength not to break down in front of Brother and Lizzy these past weeks. Everyone thought her quite healed from her ordeal, and certainly she should be by now, should she not? Certainly a stronger girl, someone like Lydia, perhaps, would have stopped thinking on it entirely!

But for Georgiana, the memories had returned, as sharp as ever, the moment she had left Longbourn. It was as if being with the other participants, Kitty and Lydia, had somehow cocooned her; but as soon as she had returned to Netherfield, the nightmares had begun again, so she was always tired.

She had difficulty eating; nausea would rise up, and she would just push her food around on her plate, hoping no one would notice. And, in truth, no one had! Preparing for the weddings, getting the gowns and the flowers and everything just right, had taken up everyone’s attention. She was grateful for that, as it kept anyone from knowing that she was so very weak and stupid.

The idea of being at Darcy House, knowing that Lizzy was having that done to her, night after night, was more than she could bear. Did that not make Brother as bad as Wickham? But no, surely not, as he and Lizzy loved one another and had got married, so now it was apparently all right.

But was it? Mrs. Bennet had said it was pleasurable for the woman as well as the man, but she had to say that, did she not? Women must lie to one another, or no one would ever marry! Might there not be a conspiracy of married women to not tell the terrible truth to the unmarried ones? For if they did, no one would have any grandchildren! There would be no heirs to the estates!

Georgiana was hopelessly confused. She could not ask her aunt about it, for the Countess would then insist on knowing why Georgiana was asking such a thing and doubtless Georgiana would end up telling her everything. It was difficult to resist Aunt Eleanor when she was being insistent, and she knew that it could never be known that Lydia had killed a man!

And so Georgiana knew she would have to continue to play a part, continue to pretend that all was well, when, deep in her heart, she believed she would never be well again.

Chapter Ninety

Mr. Bingley, once he emerged from their post-wedding bliss, felt strongly that Mr. and Mrs. Rochester should be permitted to move into Netherfield Park as soon as may be. Mr. Bingley had a legal right to inhabit Netherfield Park for the duration of his one-year lease, but he felt that he had no moral right. Before he could discuss this with Mr. Rochester, however, he knew he must first consult with his wife.

Thus, about two weeks into married life, he looked at his wife across the breakfast table. She looked lovely in her morning gown, her golden hair piled on top of her head. Not as lovely as when that same golden hair was raining down her back, but still quite lovely. “Jane,” he began.

She looked at him, smiling. “Yes, Charles?”

“Does it feel right to you that we are living in the Rochesters’ house, while they are at Purvis Lodge, waiting for the lease to expire?”

She exhaled slowly, while he waited in some anxiety. “Not at all right,” she declared. “I have been thinking much the same. But where would we go?”

Relieved that they felt the same on this issue, as they did on so many others, he ticked off their options on his fingers. “We could simply trade with them and move into Purvis Lodge. Or we could move to Longbourn, as I think your mother finds the house rather empty with three of her daughters gone. Or we could go to London and live in my town house.”