Page 124 of The Discount Damsel

Cinders and dragon turds, he hated this assignment.

CHAPTER 52

WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER FLIRT AND CLIMB ROPES AT THE SAME TIME

“. . . and then I threw my harpoon and skewered the sea beast’s tongue against the deck!” Jax imitated the manner in which the sea beast flailed by shaking the rope.

Fifteen feet above the ground, Millie halted her climb up the rope to let the tremors pass. Her pulse drummed in her ears and sweat dampened her palms. Jax’s stories always set her heart to racing and her spirits soaring with possibility—the perfect imagination combination to pretend she was climbing the rigging of her future ship for whatever reason, whether it was in defense against a rival crew, to tack the runaway edge of a sail, or, in Jax’s case, to hunt a legendary monster.

“You alright up there, miss?” Sir Roger called when she hadn’t resumed her climb.

“A mite windy up here,” she replied. Jax had never wiggled the rope before, and to keep her grip was putting strain on muscles she didn’t know she had. It took some concentrating. At least the rope’s fibers were porous, so they helped absorb the sweat from her palms. To a point.

“Aw, she’s fine. She did twenty feet yesterday. Now get your fanny in gear, missy,” Jax told her. “I was at least thirty feet above deck before I leapt with my dagger to finish the fearsome beastie off!”

From where he slouched against the dungeon bars, Sir Beauregard snorted. “You’re so full of crap, Jax. There’s no way you could kill a sea monster with a dagger.”

“That’s crabscat to you, landlubber,” the deckhand fired back without breaking character. He swirled the rope in time with his rolling hips. “And you haven’t seen the size of my dagger.”

The men chuckled, and Millie smiled. She enjoyed their ridiculous banter.

“Are you swaggering your hips right now, Jax, or are you having a seizure?” Duncan asked.

“I thought you were an educated gnome, Duncan. Clearly I’m performing a perfect samba. Keep watching and you might learn something.”

“Stay up there, Miss Millie,” Sir Roger sighed. “In fact, keep climbing. There’s idiocy afoot down here. Jax’s thrashing around and calling it dance lessons.”

“Don’t listen to him! You could learn a thing or two, missy. Pirates know all the sultry dances. It’s how they sneak into the marine officers’ masquerade balls and seduce the ladies out of their jewels. I’m sure you could learn something applicable to seduce a man out of his . . . cufflinks? Coin purse? Clothes?”

Sir Roger thwacked the deckhand in the arm, and Jax chuckled.

“If she wants to seduce someone out of his coins or clothes, she’d better learn the horizontal mambo,” Sir Beauregard suggested.

The other men groaned, except Duncan, who lowered his book curiously. He was a lord’s son, so of course he knew all the popular dances, but this one he’d never heard of.

“I don’t believe I’m familiar with that dance step,” Millie replied with a whoosh of an exhale. She had a bad habit of holding her breath as she climbed, which Jax had assured her was a very effective method for passing out and falling to her death.

“Lucky for you, Miss Millie,” Sir Beauregard said, “I excel in that particular dance.”

“Really? I thought big men like you bungled dances. All power but no finesse, you know? Leads to a very unsatisfactory experience, I’m told.”

Sir Roger guffawed.

“None of my partners have ever complained,” Sir Beauregard assured her.

“None? Were they given the chance, or did you acquit yourself immediately after the coupling?”

Jax snickered.

“Perhaps you’ll just have to find out for yourself,” the knight insisted.

“Perhaps I will. At least then I’ll have something to compare it by when I dance with Jax and Duncan.”

“I don’t know that dance,” Duncan admitted. “But I’m sure Sir Roger does, seasoned gent that he is. He can take my place.”

“Can we get back to the fish story now?” the hedge knight asked loudly.

Jax quickly resumed his tale, and Millie continued her climb. Pinning the rope between her feet, she shoved upward and gained another six inches. Thirty feet—that was today’s goal, and it was marked by a red ribbon she was expected to claim and bring back to Jax.