Page 14 of The Discount Damsel

“Oh, that’s easy. I’ve taken tea with the Amberlian dragons every third Sunday of the month since I was a toddler. Speaking of tea . . .” Her auburn hair swept over one shoulder and then the next as she looked around. Bradley could’ve sworn the faintest scent of jasmine now perfumed the evening air. “I don’t suppose you have any tea? Water would be just fine, too. I’m awfully dehydrated.”

“We have some in the kitchen⁠—”

“Through here?” She pointed at the archway and began walking without waiting for confirmation. “Lovely. Come along, Duchess. Would anyone else fancy a cup? And what is the supper situation? It’s already past sunset.”

“Wait.” Bradley seized her wrist and pulled her back.

Everything was happening way too fast. And no way was she entering this tower without a chaperone. There were too many secrets here, too many treasures she would blab about to the first person who rescued her. Or steal herself.

“Sir.” She gave the back of his hand a vicious pinch like the nip of an eagle’s beak.

It hurt, but Bradley refused to release her. If anything, his grip tightened. The tower⁠—

“Why you high-handed, presumptuous sack of goblin scat.” The princess yanked free her hairpin, her elaborate coiffure unraveling in flashes of auburn and copper. A second later, that hairpin was under his jaw and biting into his throat. “Release me at once.”

Thunder pounded down his veins at the same time the sweet scent of jasmine teased his senses. It was a confusing rush of danger and arousal and incredulity. Bradley’s shock at the princess’s willingness to use violence and profanity overruled everything else, and his hand snapped open.

“Thank you.” Stepping away, she flicked her hair over her shoulder and kept the hairpin in her hand. Then she smacked the wrinkles out of her taffeta. “Now listen here. While I am a pirate aspirant and thus a young woman of gray morality with little regard to propriety, I must insist on some social norms. Particularly, the one where your genitals are not on display when having tea with strangers.”

The sorcerer apprentice, who had quite forgotten he once again was naked save for his boots and spectacles, flushed a deep red and dropped his hands to cover himself.

“Very good. And you might want to wash that robe with a little grease.” She held up a hand as he opened his mouth to protest. “Yes, I know that seems counterintuitive, but take it from one who’s learned how to get pine resin out of cat fur with olive oil. Treat the stains with grease, really rub it in there, then use the soap. You’ll have it clean in no time, and this desert heat will take care of the rest. If you hop-to right now, I daresay you’ll be clothed and ready to join us right as I’m pouring the tea.”

Then she turned on her heel and disappeared into the tower, the white cat trotting after her with its fluffy plume of a tail held high.

CHAPTER 6

A MODEL HOSTAGE AND THREE COURSES SHOULD BE SUFFICIENT (PLUS DESSERT)

“Ooo,” the baby dragon exclaimed. “I like her. And her cat. Did you hear what she called me? Master Dirk. I don’t even have my barbels yet! And my scales? Liquid sapphire.” Dirk corkscrewed through the air. “And she’s going in to make tea. An Amberlian princess making us tea, can you imagine? It is quite literally art in motion. What an honor!”

His excitement fizzled in the face of the sorcerer apprentice just standing there with a scowl, spectacles fogging with the oncoming chill of night, and a tapping toe.

“Well, you heard the princess. Hop-to with the grease! I want to enjoy that tea while it’s fresh.”

Dirk twisted around for the workroom only for his forward momentum to come to a complete halt as a large hand clamped onto his tail. The baby dragon was yanked back onto the balcony then squished up against the tower wall. “Oof!”

“What were you thinking?” Bradley signed.

“Kidnapping a princess puts me on the map, Bradley. This is fantastic for my reputation!”

The sorcerer apprentice’s gestures were nothing short of curt. “You know how I feel about the nobility. And she’s worse! She’s royalty!”

“She is not Viscount Saltreave. And dragons only kidnap princesses, so my paws are a bit tied here, aren’t they?”

“Why did you bring her here?”

“Because kidnapped princesses are held hostage in towers, duh. Everybody knows this.”

“Why. This. Tower?”

“For one, I could feel my enchantments wearing off, including that endurance one, and in case you’ve forgotten, Bradley, I’m a baby dragon. My flight radius is rather limited. Unless you know of another tower within twenty-five leagues that’s currently unoccupied.”

Crossing his arms over his chest and resting them on top of his satchel, Dirk gave the sorcerer apprentice a sour look. “And secondly, I brought her home for you. But if this is how you’re going to react whenever I do something thoughtful, don’t expect me to do it again.”

The scowl lines in Bradley’s brow softened with unexpected curiosity. “For me? Why?”

“So you can get laid.”