Page 179 of The Discount Damsel

“Only Bradley thought that,” Dirk said. “I have the utmost confidence in you, Millie.”

“Thank you, Master Dirk.” She marched off the boardwalk and dropped into the powdery sand. Up ahead, Jerry waited for her beside his beached rowboat.

“You’re trying that again?” Bradley asked. “Didn’t you retch enough yesterday?”

“Yes, I’m trying again, and yesterday, I didn’t have these.” She held up her hands, revealing two tight leather cuffs upon her wrists. Sewn into the leather were pieces of scrimshaw with arcane symbols for calm, peace, and endurance. “See? Anti-seasickness charms! I got the deluxe package that included an acupuncture session—it’s where they stick you full of tiny needles along your pressure points. That Midge is a magician with those needles, I must say.”

“So you’ve resorted to voodoo?” Bradley rolled his eyes.

“Would you keep your voice down? It was difficult enough convincing Jerry he misheard the word ‘pirate’ yesterday. I don’t want him thinking I’m a witch now, too.”

“No, you’re just girl who visits witches.”

“Shush.” She flung up a hand. “Good-morning, Jerry! Thank you for being so accommodating. Shall we?”

The princess stepped into the boat, and the two men shoved it into the water. Millie beamed from the center of her bench until Jerry leaned back with his first sweep of the oars. The hull shot into a wave, and the princess practically threw herself overboard trying not to vomit inside the boat.

“Again, miss?” Jerry commiserated. “That’s rotten luck. Midge’s charms aren’t cheap.”

“Take me back,” she gasped, shaking. “Take me back.”

The moment the hull rasped against the sand, Millie scrambled out of the boat. She rinsed off her mouth with seawater and sat back on her heels as the surf swirled around her. “Maybe these cuffs aren’t tight enough. They’re supposed to really press into that Nei-Kuan pressure point⁠—”

“Just give it up, Tula,” Bradley cried, exasperated. “You don’t belong on a boat, and you’ll never become a pirate! Every time you hurl your guts out into the sea, you drop five pounds, and you’re forcing the rest of us to watch you slowly kill yourself. Just stop already!”

Millie shoved herself upright, staggered, and caught her balance. “No.”

“Tula—”

She thrust a finger into his chest. “This won’t beat me. It might look stupid to you, but I still have hope. And yes, I know it hurts to hope. But it hurts more to fail because you didn’t even try.”

CHAPTER 74

A PISSY RED DRAGON, A COMPLICATION, AND MILLIE MAKES AN OFFER

From the window in the library, Bradley watched the stubborn princess try and try again to overcome her seasickness from nine in the morning all the way until the sun set at nine in the evening. He’d helped Dirk, too, of course, speed reading through book after book, though he’d found nothing about any malady that resulted in a dragon shedding its scales.

Millie was too sick again for supper, but apparently Jerry had told Nash about their second failed boating attempt, and Nash had a container of seafood broth waiting for Bradley when he and Dirk arrived at Lantern & Hearth that evening.

“She wouldn’t need this if she wasn’t being so stubborn,” Bradley growled on the walk back to The Dreary Pelican.

“She needs our support, Bradley.”

“Is that what she needs? I think she needs someone who doesn’t lie to her face. Someone who tells her the truth of the situation.”

Dirk snatched the container of broth and set it aside so it wouldn’t spill. Then he walloped the apprentice in the gut with his tail. “So this is really about you, isn’t it? You think I lied to you about my scales.”

“I think you chose to keep a secret from me, your best friend, and one that affects us both, so yeah, I’d call that a lie by omission.” He flicked the dragon in one of his ears, which was far more effective than poking him in the chest given their sensitivity. “You deceived me, Dirk.”

The Mini Red rubbed the sting away and snapped his teeth. “If anyone gets to be pissy around here, it’s me! I only started losing my scales when we got to the tower. When you were cursed. You’ve wondered why your magic is leaking, how you’re sometimes able to do things you shouldn’t? It’s because of me! Gladstone’s curse is bleeding into me because we’re bonded, and as you get stronger, I get weaker!”

They were drawing an audience by now, but none in the crowd chose to summon the town’s contingent of marines for disturbing the peace. It wasn’t every day they got to see a human bold enough to embroil himself in a shouting match with a dragon, even if that dragon was rather small. Would the Mini Red blast him with a fireball? Shred his self-esteem with artful rhetoric? Pluck out his eyes like jujubes? Insult his mother? They were dying to find out.

“You mean this had nothing to do with the warhammer?” Bradley exclaimed.

Dirk’s anger wavered with embarrassment. “The warhammer only made it worse,” he admitted. “That’s when I told Millie to keep it a secret. But only because I had a plan! And because I knew you’d freak out, just like you are right now. A dragon’s magic increases as we get older and stronger. I thought if I fought all those Heroes, I’d be strong enough to push back, maybe even eradicate the curse. But I only lost more scales. Then feathers. Then, then⁠—”

The Mini Red’s body convulsed with grief and fear.