Page 40 of One Adult, Please

"Two," Beck whispers. "I can take two."

"Not in a confined space," Joel says. "The axe needs room to swing."

"I don't need the axe for two."

They look at each other. Two men, two approaches, two entirely different relationships with the concept of risk. They're going to argue about this for the rest of however long we survive together and I can see that clearly, the way you can see a TV show's whole dynamic in the pilot episode.

"I have an idea," I say.

They both look at me. The skepticism is bilateral and immediate.

"The ride vehicles," I say. "They're on a track. The track goes through every room. If the power to the ride system is on, can we send a vehicle through?"

I can see Joel's gears turning. "The ride operates on a continuous chain drive. If the motor has power, the vehicles move on the rail."

"You want to hit them with a ride car," Beck says.

"I want to use the existing infrastructure for its intended purpose, which is moving things through rooms. The things just happen to be ride vehicles and the rooms just happen to have wrong people in them."

Beck's grin returns. "That's the most violent use of a theme park ride I've ever heard and I love it."

Joel's already at the ride control panel on the wall. He examines the wiring. Flips a breaker.

A deep, mechanical vibration runs through the floor. The chain drive engages in the guts of the building with a metallic grinding. The ride vehicles on the track shudder. The one nearest to us, an enchanted carriage with a cracked fiberglass shell and a battery pack dangling from its underside, starts to move.

Slowly at first. Then with purpose.

The carriage rolls along the track, through the dragon's lair, and into the castle gate doorway.

Staff Jacket doesn't react. The carriage hits them at maybe five miles per hour, which isn't fast in any normal context but is fast enough when you're a body that's forgotten how to brace.

Staff Jacket goes down. The carriage's low fiberglass nose catches Staff Jacket across the hips and shoves them backward until their legs fold under the guide rail.

The carriage keeps moving, chain drive pulling it into scene room three, and Missing Shoe gets clipped on the follow-through, spinning sideways into the cave wall with a sound that I'm going to describe as "damp thud" and leave it at that.

The carriage continues into scene room three, out of sight, and I hear additional impacts. Additional damp thuds.

"Grace," Beck says. "You just invented zombie bowling."

"I invented practical use of existing infrastructure, Beck."

"You invented zombie bowling. I'm naming it and you scored at least a six."

"I don't want points. I want the building secured."

"You're getting so many points. Joel, how many points does she get?"

Joel's face is doing the almost-smile that lives in the neighborhood of his mouth and never quite moves in. "The vehicle took out at least four that I could hear."

"Four? A four-hit combo? Grace, that's... that's legendary. That's a high score. I've been killing them one at a time with an axe like a peasant and you just sent a theme park ride through them like a medieval Roomba."

"Can we please focus on whether the building is clear?"

"Medieval Roomba, Grace. That's your title now. It's non-negotiable."

Then a shriek of metal tears through the room. The floor shudders. The chain drive grinds once, twice, then catches on something with a sound that goes straight through my teeth.

Joel's head snaps toward the track. "That's not good," he says.