Page 24 of Every Eligible Man

"Time check," I say, and for the first time tonight I'm genuinely concerned about something other than orgasms. "How long does it take to get from here to the carriage?"

"Seven minutes if we run," Ash calculates, still buried inside her because he's apparently capable of math while fucking. "Eight if there are guards."

"There are definitely guards," Slade says from beneath. "We passed six on the way in."

"Nine minutes!" Twitch screams. "And Murder and Violence are getting twitchy! The mice energy is returning!"

Murder and Violence. My beautiful temporary horses.

They're going to turn back into field mice. While we're three miles from home. While we're naked and covered in Cinder.

This is bad. This is very bad.

But then I look at Cinder, flushed and desperate and still trying to grind back against Ash, and this is still the best night ever.

One-Eye's voice cuts through like a disappointed headmaster. "If you three are not out of that room in sixty seconds, I’m leaving without you and you can explain to the lady why you just turned back into pig farmers mid-coitus."

That does it. All three of us pull out simultaneously.

Cinder lets out a wail of protest that would be flattering if I wasn't suddenly terrified of turning into a pumpkin. Or whatever the male equivalent is. A turnip? A sad, naked turnip who used to be inside a lady?

"Where are my trousers?" I ask.

"That's my doublet," Ash says.

"Why is there cum on my mask?" Slade asks.

"That's your cum, Slade,” I say.

I'm hopping on one foot, trying to shove my leg into something that might be pants but might also be a curtain. Everything is chaos. Beautiful, panicked chaos.

Cinder scrambles upright on the table, gloriously wrecked, cum dripping down her thighs, hair a disaster, looking absolutely furious.

"Where do you think you're going? We're not finished!"

"We're very finished," Ash says, yanking his trousers up with one hand while searching for his boots with the other. "Magic deadline. You wouldn't understand."

"I would understand if you explained."

"No time!"

I've got my shirt on. It's backwards. And inside out. I don't care. "Gerald! Susan! Rally to me!"

Susan shoots out from under a chair, I don't know how she got in here, I don't ask questions, and rockets up my leg, chittering frantically.

But Gerald is nowhere.

"Gerald?" I spin in a circle, panic rising. "Gerald?"

"Seven minutes!" the rats scream in unison.

"I'm not leaving without Gerald."

"You're leaving without Gerald!" Slade grabs me by the collar, hauling me toward the door while trying to button his doublet with one hand. "He's a ferret! He'll survive!"

"He has abandonment issues."

Where is he? Where is my chaos son? He was here, I know he was here, he was trying to steal Cinder's earrings earlier and I told him to wait until she was distracted and…