Page 32 of Ardently Yours

Me: Tell me why this man texted me and asked to become business partners. Like, who does he think he is?

Nic: How is this a bad thing?

Jane: Yeah, please help us understand what’s going on here.

Me: What do you mean? How is this a bad thing? That man came to town looking to start his own business. And when he didn’t get it, he settled for a job with me. Like I don’t see right through him.

Nic: Are you sure he wasn’t offering for a different reason? Did you talk to him about this?

Me: Girl, why are you defending this man?

Nic: No, I’m not defending him. I’m just saying he doesn’t seem like the type to undermine you. I mean, Lizzie, come on. I don’t think he would treat you like that. But that’s just my opinion. My fiancé is literally one of his best friends. Jay wouldn’t be best friends with somebody who was trifling.

Jane: Yes, I agree. Edward is also a good judge of character, and he speaks highly of Will. I know that you two get on each other’s nerves, but Nic is right. Even if you aren’t a couple… which you’ve made very clear… you definitely have chemistry. Whether that chemistry comes from working well together, being good friends, or becoming great business partners. I think we’re just saying to not throw him away without understanding why he’s asking you that.

Nic: I don’t know if I could have said it any better myself.

Me: Why do y’all have to be so wise and try to get me to do the right thing when I just want to vent and do whatever I want?

Jane: Because we’re your best friends, and we love you, obviously.

Nic: That, and we know that you work so hard. And Will has been there to help you over the last handful of months. I just don’t want you to push him away because you may be scared.

Me: Who says I’m scared?

Jane: Honestly, I think Nic knows a lot more about this than we do.

Nic: I’d be offended if that wasn’t true because we all know what happened to me last year. You both know how hard it was for me to let go of what I thought I wanted. That, on top of being reunited with Jay... honestly, I couldn’t have gone through all of that without God and without you all. I don’t know what’s going on between you and Will, but I do know that you two have something special. I just don’t want you to throw it all away before you figure out exactly what that is.

Jane: I’d say pray about it. All I know is we love you so much, and we just want the best for you.

Nic: And no matter what, we are here for you.

Me: Thank you. I love you both so much. Goodnight for now. I’ll update you on my not-so-fabulous life tomorrow.

I want to cry as look at my phone screen.

I think about how Nic’s life changed last year. She finally moved back home and got back together with Jay.

I remember how hurt she was at first and how scared she was. But I got to watch one of my best friends go from being scared to live her life to living the life of her dreams with the man of her dreams.

I watched God turn her life around. He changed her whole story and worked all things together for her good. And I remember being so confident and excited for her.

I prayed for her and encouraged her. I believed wholeheartedly that God was going to show up for her. I knew there was more for her, but I also knew she would have to see it for herself.

I remember all of that. But here I am, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to feel, and I don’t know how to respond to any of this. I don’t feel so strong, encouraging, and confident anymore as I put my phone away and drift off into a troubled sleep.

Chapter Ten

Will

Small group is always one of my favorite times during the week. Going to a Bible study with a smaller group feels more intimate to me. Selah Church, with its big, wide-open space, modern design, and welcoming atmosphere, is just what I need tonight.

I walk in with Jay and Edward. We just left the inn, and Jay keeps trying to remember that one word he forgot when he got stuck during the last few rows of his word search. Edward indulges him while I listen and stifle my laughter.

Jay is a writer, so he takes words seriously and doesn’t like when he can’t finish his word searches. Edward is very chill about the word searches and just has a good time with them.

I, on the other hand, am secretly competitive with my word searches and pride myself on being quick-witted and able to finish my word search the fastest out of the group, but I don’t rub it in.