Page 81 of Ardently Yours

And we do. Without words. Just holding on to each other, step by step.

My breath catches. I remind myself to smile. To look happy. To tell my heart to relax.

But I can’t relax. Because he came back.

And here I was afraid...

When I promised myself I wouldn’t be.

He lets go of my arm. We move to our respective places to stand with the rest of the wedding party. The music changes. Nic is about to make her grand entrance. The audience is instructed to stand. I look over at Will.

I mouth the words, “I’m sorry.”

He mouths back, “Me too.”

I think about how fake dating was a mistake. A lie.

I send up a prayer to God, thinking: Lord, I’m sorry for lying. I do love Will. But I messed up and I ask for Your forgiveness, Your guidance and Your love to meet me where I am. Amen. I exhale, able to breathe freely again.

***

The reception is in full swing. My friends are finally married. Nic and Jay have been smiling from ear to ear since they said I do, and even before.

I hired Lydia, Mary and Kitty to help set up and serve the drinks and baked goods for the reception. They handle it beautifully, making sure guests get to enjoy the treats Will and I made.

Will. I can’t think about him right now. I make myself pay attention to the married couple.

I watch them do their first dance in awe. Jane and I hold each other’s hands and finally let a few tears fall as we watch them. I lay my head on her shoulder, and she pulls me in, wrapping her arms around me as we sit.

“Love is beautiful, isn’t it?” she asks, sounding like she’s in one of those old movies she loves to watch.

“It really is,” I say, smiling in agreement.

“You know, it’s not too late for you to have your happy ending too.”

I sit up, looking over at her. She nods past me to where Will is sitting next to Edward on the opposite side of the head table. We all sit there as the wedding party, with two empty seats between us for the bride and groom.

“It’s not about us today,” I say.

But I know she’s right.

Before I know it, the first dance, the father-daughter dance, and the wedding speeches have flown by, and it’s time for the bouquet toss. Jane and I stand at the back of the medium-sized crowd of women hoping to catch it.

Nic tosses the bouquet into the air. It soars all the way to the back and hits me...in the face.

“Ow!” I scream, ducking out of the way far too late.

I laugh from the shock of the hit, but no real damage is done. Jane checks on me before picking up the bouquet.

“I’m fine,” I laugh, giving her a nod. She hands the bouquet to me.

Nic looks over and says, “I’m so sorry, Liz!”

I give her a thumbs up, laughing, which makes her laugh too. Jane and I walk over to the newlyweds and hug them both.

“Can’t believe you caught the bouquet with your face, Lizzie,” Jay teases.

“Oh, stop being a hater, Gatsby. You’re just mad that you can’t throw like your wife. She could’ve been a pro football player with how she just about knocked me out.”