Page 27 of Changing Lanes

“Brannon. I’ve missed you.” I hold her tight as she does me.

“Me too, Mom.” Squeezing her one last time, I release her and grab my bag.

“Ava’s called. I wouldn’t let her come. At first, I thought Torrie would be here, but when the plans changed, I wanted to have time to talk,” she says. This woman has a sixth sense, I guess all moms do.

“Thank God. I just can’t handle Ava today.” I throw my arm around her shoulder, kissing her on the forehead as we walk out the doors.

I toss my bag in the truck, Mom tosses me the keys so I can drive home. Home, I need some time to think. Cruising up Highway Seventeen, all I can think about is Torrie. I was too hard on her, damn it. That’s her father, I have no right telling her how to handle him.

“Talk,” her only word is a demand. Moms are the best.

“Torrie is amazing, she fits me in every way. Her father hates me because I’m not rich. Oldest story in the book, one I would rather to not have been a part of.” Gripping the steering wheel with both hands, they go pale. Every time I think of his sarcastic ass, my heart rate speeds and I begin to shake.

“What does Torrie say?” Mom hasn’t looked at me yet, it’s like going to confession. My stomach tightens knowing I’m about to admit I’ve failed.

“She knows he’s demanding, manipulative, and a pompous ass, but she will not stand up to him.” I glance over at her, she nods her head. So, why is my stomach still in knots? “And that makes it difficult for me to do it.”

“True, but he’s still her father. Surely, you don’t want to be responsible for their falling out?” she asks honestly. I flex my grip on the steering wheel, trying to convince myself I did the right thing.

“No. That’s why I’m here and she’s there.” I frown as I shake my head. “If it’s the right thing to do, why is my heart pounding outta my chest and I feel like throwing up?”

“So, what’s the problem?” She levels me with a questioning glare, and I know she’s wondering if I’m telling her everything. “What are you worried about?”

“She hasn’t texted me.” Discouraged, I glance over at her, she nods as if knowing I didn’t do all I should’ve done.

“Did you ask her to?” Simple enough, it’s just that, no. I can feel the heat race up my face, I’m just not sure if it’s from anger or fear from what her father’s done or me.

“No. I was angry, with her and her father.” Ashamed, I pull into our driveway, avoiding glancing over at her. I’m thankful I’m driving.

She slaps my arm, jolting me from my misery. “Why not? You’re the one leaving, not her.”

“I left a note.” Crestfallen, I turn my head, mumbling my answer. I park the truck, shaking my head at my lack of judgment.

“You did what?” Her voice cracks with irritation.

“I know. I’m a dumb ass.” Disappointed in myself, I lay my head back on the seat. I stare up at the roof for answers that aren’t there.

“Damn straight, you are. A jackass is more like it. I guess it’s to be expected.” She opens her door, slamming it after.

Huh? I follow her up the steps. “What? Why is it expected?” I demand, mad as hell.

She turns to me on the top step, looking down, she cups my cheek in her hand. “You’re a good man. You still have so much to learn, especially about women.” She playfully pats my face.

“He told me to ‘leave or he would take everything from Torrie’, and that’s a quote.” I step up beside her feeling powerless.

“It’s Torrie’s decision, and you have to let her make it. Still, you shouldn’t have left without talking to her.” Reluctantly, I see she’s got a point.

“I know. It’s complicated.” I feel dejected when she hugs me. She opens the door, and we walk into the house.

“Are you hungry?” Mom asks me.

“Naw, I think I’m going to try to get some sleep.” I’m feeling defeated today, so I’m not hungry. My phone vibrates as I walk up the stairs, it’s Ava. I don’t feel like talking to her, so I let it go to voicemail.

I stare at the ceiling for God knows how long, tossing and turning most of the night. I can’t sleep, Torrie is all I can think about. She hasn’t texted me. I have little hope she will. I shouldn’t have left, not without talking to her. A tightness in the pit of my stomach is making me feel sick.

Late, I decide to take a trip out to the barn, it’s where I go to talk to my dad. It’s as though I can feel his presence every time I come out here. I tinker around trying to keep my mind busy, looking for something constructive to do. Hoping to hear my dad’s calming voice talk to me. I mess around with the tractor motor, Mom said it had a miss in it the other day.

As I busy myself with the motor, I lay out every sordid detail of the situation with Torrie. I’m not sure if I’m expecting a sign of some sort or saying it out loud helps me sort it. I can’t help but think Dad would have the best advice if he were here. He would tell me how to handle it.