Page 42 of Changing Lanes

Grabbing my things, I walk out, knowing at some point I need to talk to him. If I can pull him away from his obligations or women. I’m sure there’s a line formed around the corner. I hate to admit it, but he does look good; the beard is a plus.

I drive into town to the grocery store. Once I’m parked, I decide to sight see. I window shop at the local jewelry store, just to waste time. My phone buzzes, it’s my father. He asks about the meeting this morning, I break things down for him via text, I just can’t with him right now. My brain is already on overload with all this Brannon stuff, I can’t take my father’s also. While my phone is out, I decide to call Thayer.

“Hey, girl,” Thayer says in her sing-song way.

“Hey. How are you?” I ask in earnest. I wander over to a bench shaded by tall trees and sit.

“Good. Pregnant.” She giggles. “What’s up?”

“Am I that transparent or do I just call when I have an issue?” I cringe when I ask her.

“Torrie, in my limited time of knowing you, I know you can handle anything on your own, except Brannon,” Thayer says plainly.

“True.” I sigh. “He’s driving me insane. He’s hot and then he’s cold. He acts as if he can’t stand me in the room and the next, he’s telling me he wants me. What the fuck?” I exclaim.

“Torrie, do you not have much dating history?” Thayer questions me as her voice pitches.

“Yes, of course. I mean, dating as in…dates? No. I’ve gone on a few dates, but when they wanted to get serious, I backed out.” My head lulls back in defeat, I’m a mess.

“Brannon is the classic guy. He wants you, but he thinks you don’t want him. So, he goes hot and cold, and like you, he’s wrestling the same emotions.” I’ll be damned.

“Alright, I’m screwed,” I say as I shake my head.

“Not in the least, but you need to talk to each other,” Thayer says.

“Yeah, I keep hearing that. Now, how to do it without choking him,” I laugh. “Thanks, girl, I’m off the ledge.”

“No problem, call anytime. Bye.” Thayer ends the call while she’s laughing.

Shaking my head, I walk to the grocery store for my dinner. Just before I get there, I see a trinket shop and duck in to check them out. Wandering around a few minutes, I get another text from my father about another account at work.

I walk out the door and straight into Brannon. He’s talking to a woman with a little girl. Two minutes in, we’re being assholes to one another. I give up, walking away. Running into the grocery store, I grab my dinner and walk back to the rental, I need food and my bed.

Once at home, I put my grilled chicken into a nice salad. Sitting at the bar, I try to eat but I’m still mad. Who in the hell does he think he is? He makes me sick with his ‘you know you want me’ attitude.

I’m not even sure when my feet start moving until the sand is between my toes. The beach is empty; a storm brews off the coast. Smiling at the thought, I feel the same way about my life. It feels as out of control as the ocean.

I’ve spent years trying to let go of him, why do I feel as though he never left? Fighting the tears, I watch as the waves bury one another, praying my feelings for Brannon will do the same. Continuing to fight until they bury the other deep in my heart.

I love him; whether I should isn’t a factor.