Page 138 of Luci’s Lullaby

“We’ll be fine. I suppose I could text if there’s a problem.” I’m shaking like a leaf standing here alone with her. I lay Luci on her blanket in the floor.

“Definitely call. I have my phone with me all the time.” She’s as nervous as I am. She wanders toward the door, taking her time.

“You don’t have to go yet, w-we need to eat.” I slump when she reaches for the door.

The corner of her mouth is turned down. “Yeah, I better go.”

“Charlee, you have every right to have doubts about me and my intentions. But I swear to you, they’ve never been as genuine as they are in this moment. I want—need—you to be in Luci’s life, and I pray one day you’ll allow me back in yours.” My chest rattles as my heart shatters.

Her head hangs. “I want to believe you but, Alden, you didn’t just leave me—you left Luci too. So many people believe a girl needs her mom; well, guess what? We need our dads too. A father teaches us how men should treat us; mine taught me how I never want to be treated.”

“I didn’t leave you. You walked away from me.” My face reddens as anger boils to the surface.

She glares at me. “How in the hell was I supposed to stay and watch those women grope you and stick their tongues down your throat. If you ever thought I could do that, you never knew me.”

“No, I never expected you to stay and have to endure anything of the sort, but I didn’t have a damn thing to do with it.” I lower my voice to keep Luci from getting scared.

She crosses her arms. “Poor thing was used and abused by Sam. You should’ve said something, you should’ve stood up for us!”

“What, like you did? Get pissed with me because I’m doing my damnedest? I never said I would do it right but, by God, I was present!” I crack my knuckles.

Her face reddens. “Not for long! Yeah, I left but you had already left. You picked music over us!”

“It was an opportunity of a lifetime!”

“And we’re not?” Her words are shocking and crushing, laying heavy on my soul.

“I’m here now!” I fist my hands at my side.

“For how long? You’ll bolt with the next big opportunity.” She glares at me.

“I’m not leaving again without you both.” I grit my teeth, hoping she’ll get the point.

“Go on, Alden. Get. Leave. I’d rather you leave now for your music, than later full of regret because your dream didn’t come true.” Her lips tremble as the words fall from them, crushing me.

“I’m not going anywhere, Charlee. Not without you two!” My hands shake as I run them through my hair.

“Please, it’s happened a million times before; why are you any different?” Her nostrils flare.

I step back, gaping at her. “Charlee, I made a mistake. I should’ve come after you, but I didn’t leave you. I left Luci because I didn’t think I was good enough for her.”

“You left because music and fame were more important than anything else—admit it.” She glowers at me.

“Maybe that’s why your dad left, but it’s not why I left.” I shake my head as her words cut deep.

“Well, give it time. It looks as though you’re a real dad now!” she spits at me.

“You told Reese you didn’t believe that shit.” My stomach turns with every word.

She fists her hair. “I don’t know what to believe about anything!”

“Charlee, I wouldn’t even touch you without a condom.” My brows pull tight.

“But you and I both know, they don’t always work.” She hesitates on her next words, but I see it in her eyes when she decides to say them. “And we both know, you forget sometimes.”

“One time.” I hold up my finger. “I forgot one time, Charlee. And it was with you.”

“You’ve used condoms with every woman you’ve fucked? Multiple times a night and you never forgot?” Her body quakes with anger.