Page 64 of Luci’s Lullaby

I sleep on and off all night, so does Luci. We’re up and down, walking the floors and eating. As dawn breaks, sleep finds us again.

“Alden. Alden.” I feel the nudge on my shoulder and I know the voice, but I just don’t want to move.

“Hmm?”

She tugs my shirt. “I need to talk to you and go over some things.”

“I’m coming.” I raise up, reaching for Luci.

“It works better if you open your eyes when looking for something.” Reese giggles. “I’ve got her.”

“I’m trying.” I drag ass out of bed and stumble to the bathroom.

I find Reese and Luci in the living room when I walk out. She’s feeding her like a pro. I know I’m a poor substitute.

“So Sam called,” she says while burping Luci.

I scrub my hand over my face. “Is it too early for a drink?”

“It is.” She pauses to kiss Luci. “By the way, don’t let just anyone kiss or touch her. Germs are bad.”

“Tell me about,” I stretch. “I still haven’t gotten over getting the cooties from Tonya in grade school.” I wink at her.

“Idiot.” She purses her lips. “Sam wants to know when you’ll be ready to go back to work?”

“Are you for real?” I sit up.

She nods. “I’m afraid I am.”

“I don’t know. I still need to figure a lot of things out.”

“Exactly what I told her, but she’s not hearing it. She wants you under a recording contract by November and if you’re not performing…” Reese twists her mouth.

“I get it.” I crack my knuckles. “How long do I have?”

“I bought you a few more weeks, but I full well expect a meeting before then.” She hands Luci over. “By the way, you do know that you use one wipe at a time?”

“Listen, since they changed her milk, we’re having daily atomic warfare, and I’m doing all I can not to call this a disaster zone.”

She looks around. “Too late.”

“And why did you not tell me, if I get lotion on those tag thingies on the diaper, they won’t stick!”

She puts her hands on her hips. “Can you tell me any other tape you can get lotion on and it stick?” I stare blankly at her. “There it is.”

“In my defense, I’m exhausted.” Tears spring to my eyes. “I miss my brother, I miss Shelley, I miss working and hanging out and most of all, I miss my fucking life.”

Reese wraps her arms around me as my chest cracks open, and I allow myself a minute to grieve. “Oh, Mars Bar. Don’t you dare think we all don’t see you. We do, honey. I don’t know how you’ve done what you have. You’re a better man than you give yourself credit for.”

“No, I’m not. There’s not a day that passes that I don't feel resentment.”

She sits down next to me. “And you think that’s a bad thing?”

“It’s terrible of me.” My gut rolls with the admission.

“No, it’s not.” She takes my hand. “We all have bad days, and you’re more than entitled to yours.”

“I guess.” I swallow the bile rising in my throat. “Shit. I forgot to mention, my neighbors called social services on me. Luci’s crying so much they think I’m not taking care of her.”

“If they come back, tell them to call your legal counsel.” She kisses my cheek. “I hate to leave you.”

I shrug. “We’ll be okay.”

“Never a doubt, Alden. But then again, I see you for who you really are.” She hugs us and walks out the door.

“It’s you and me, kid.”