Page 32 of Rumor Has It

Chapter 6

Mackenzie

October…

A light knock on my door pulls me from deep thought. I spring from my bed, hurrying to get to it. I jerk it ope, and grab her arm, yanking her into the room. I slam the door shut with a gasp.

“Dramatic much?” Maisyn says as she falls onto the bed.

I hold my hand to my forehead, pacing the room. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I close it, trying to swallow past the lump that formed yesterday and won’t go away.

Maisyn sits up, her brows pulled low. “Okay, you can stop now. I’m fully frightened.”

“I-I…” Tears spring to my eyes. “I’ve seriously messed up, Maisyn.”

She leaps to her feet, coming to my side. “Come on, let’s sit down. Take a deep breath, and start from the beginning.”

“I’m so screwed.” My body trembles. I know I have to tell her more, but when I do and it’s out there, I can’t stop it. I can’t take it back, and I’m going to lose everything.

She wraps her arms around me as my world shatters around me, including my heart. “There’s nothing we can’t figure out together.”

“When I broke up with Reed…” I swallow hard past the mounting disdain I have for myself. “I slept with Boone.”

She rears back, gaping. “Alright, can’t say I didn’t see that coming. I’m just surprised you’re upset over it.”

“I’m not. I loved being with him. It felt so right. It was right.” I pick at my nail, my stomach twisting in knots. “I’ve made so any mistakes the past few months, but I don’t regret being with Boone.”

“Everyone makes mistakes, and you corrected yours. I don’t mean by sleeping with Boone, but being with Reed.” She rubs my back. “Now, why are you shaking?”

I close my eyes as my stomach pitches, praying I don’t hurl. “I slept with Reed too.”

“Wow.” Her brows knit. “Not at the same time, right?”

“Geez! What do you think I am?” I glare at her. “No, gross.”

“So, I gotta ask…” She winces. “Why?”

“I don’t know, stupidity.” I rub my temples, trying to dispel the growing migraine. “Honestly, it really is ridiculous.”

“Hindsight is 20/20.” She half shrugs.

“Ya think?” I drop my head. “I wanted Boone to be my first, but when I thought he had made a fool of me, I was so angry. Reed seemed like the perfect chance to find out if I really loved Boone, if it even was love.

“The first time, all I thought about was Boone. I kept my eyes closed like a child and imagined Boone the entire time. Even when I kissed Reed, I went numb and thought about Boone.” My stomach churns with the memory of his hands on me.

“When Reed told me it would get better, that it was me finally getting over Boone, I did it again, and it was worse than the first time. The fact Reed was an ass didn’t help either. Boone would level him if he had any idea. Reed thought it was because I was uncomfortable and kept insisting we do it more, so I’d acclimate. He wasn’t happy when I declined.”

“Then why did you do it”—she scowls—“if you were thinking of Boone the entire time.”

“Idiocy?” I shake my head. “I kept thinking I’d forget about Boone. I thought he didn’t want me, not like Reed did. I wanted to be loved, but I didn’t have a clue how to tell Boone to do it, and Reed sure as hell didn’t.”

Maisyn’s frown deepens. “I don’t understand. Why would you do something you know was so wrong?”

“Hoping to forget, praying I wasn’t as hopeless as I felt when Boone didn’t want me.” I slide from the bed into the floor. “I thought we’d always be close, that one day, we’d be a couple. To have the fact that I’m not enough for him shoved in my face broke everything in me.”

“This is so messed up, Mackenzie! I can’t believe you even considered Reed knowing the lies he told.” She walks over to the photos hung around my mirror.

“I know, but at the time they sounded so real, even possible. I believed everything, and there’s so much more I haven’t told you.”