Page 57 of Rumor Has It

Chapter 12

Mackenzie

He’s here, although not the way I’ve hoped, but he’s still right in front of me. Once again, I’m watching as he leaves me. I will myself to move, chasing after him because by god, this time I will fight for what I should.

I rush his car, slamming my hand on the window. “Boone!” He puts it into gear and begins to roll backward. I slap the window harder, screaming at him. “Damn you, don’t you dare leave!”

His head whips around as he throws the car into park, rocking it as it comes to an abrupt stop. Boone glares at me, telling me everything he wants to say before he even reaches for the door.

I step back, waiting for the full brunt of his assault. No matter what he has to say, it will never hurt me as much as I have him. I’ll never make up for all that I've put him through or what he’s missed.

The door swings wide, and I back track several steps. His foot hits the ground, and hell moves. His eyes are filled with despair and anger, and I tremble as he stalks toward me.

“Who the fuck do you think you are daring me not to leave?” He seethes, visibly shaken to his core. His anger is tangible and understandable, I flinch from the impact.

“You might think I have no right, but I won’t make the same mistake twice.” I grimace from the pain etched in our memories, reminding me he has every right to be outraged. “Letting you leave the last time was wrong.”

Indignation wrecks his beautiful face. “Letting me leave? You pushed me away, Mackenzie!”

“What was I supposed to do?” My chest constricts as I gaze into his eyes. The same ones I always got lost in when the world was so heavy, I couldn’t bear it. Now, they reflect a pain much like I use to run from. “Stand by and watch you throw everything away for us? To destroy what you and your parents wanted for your life? We were eighteen, Boone! We had no idea what life was at that age.”

“Bullshit! You didn’t want to face the rumor mill and gossip hounds in this town.” The ferocity of his words bite as he grinds his teeth. “The truth is … you couldn’t stand what you had done so you ran!”

“You’re right!” I flail my arms, exasperated with trying to defend my actions, knowing I can't. “I ran because I refused to sit in the indignation of the self-righteous assholes in this place!”

He leans in, crowding me. “You left because you couldn’t face what you did to us.”

“You have no idea how girls are treated when they’ve been ‘ruined’, Boone. Guys can sleep with two women in one night and get a pat on the back with an ‘atta boy’, but let a girl get pregnant and she’s the ‘town whore’!” My stomach lurches with the truth spoken from both of us.

“Get over yourself! You weren’t branded with a scarlet letter, Mackenzie.” He rolls his eyes. “You left to keep from the telling everyone the truth and facing the fact that you have no clue who her father is!”

I turn my face as his words gut me, and I recoil from the pain in my chest. “You’re right, and it crushed you under the weight.”

“You have no idea what it feels like to be so broken inside, that nothing or no one can fix it. Nothing makes it okay.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me? I don’t know what it’s like to be so broken? How about being the one that breaks said person? Living with the fucking nightmare over and over for the last ten years, that I’m the one that broke you! You’re right, it’s been fucking great!” I wipe the flood of tears from my face, forgetting about my crushed soul.

His own fall without restrain, opening the fissure between us more. “So, what did you come back for, Mackenzie?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I thought it was time to clean up my mess.” I look away from him, like he did me the day I made him leave. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t realize how shattered we all are and the fact it was by my own hand. I came back for her, for you, to find out the truth and try to move forward.”

His eyes narrow. “Ain’t that the fuckin’ truth!”

“You can be as fucking pissed at me all you want, but I don’t remember you ever looking back once you left.”

He rears back, pulling his brows low. “I would’ve been here, Mackenzie. I wanted to be here … for both of you. But you didn't want me to stay.”

“I couldn’t let you throw everything away; it wouldn’t have been right to let you stay.” The opening that once was a fissure, has now become a chasm, so deep we can’t see our way out. “She’s my responsibility, and I didn't want you to feel obligated when you had plans for your life. Why is that so wrong, Boone? I couldn’t have lived with myself for ruining your life too.”

“Don’t you see, Mackenzie? You did! You decided what was best for you, and you know it. You didn’t even take time to consider what might happen. You only cared about yourself or you would’ve never pushed me away!” he yells as we go round and round, never finding common ground. Neither of us thinking about anyone but ourselves.

The pain in my chest is crippling, yet I try to hold on. “You’re not the only one broken, you know. I’ve never been the same. I live every day with regret.”

“Regret? Try living with never knowing, always wondering … what if!” His body vibrates with every word, disdain dripping from his mouth. “You did this to us, not once but twice! You made your bed, and you need to sleep in it.”

I turn my face away from him as if I’ve been hit. My heart has taken a beating, especially today. “The rumors weren’t always about me; all I was trying to do was protect us all.”

“You were embarrassed and didn’t want people asking ‘who’s the daddy’!” His jaw sets, and a noise from behind us draws our attention.