Page 130 of Finding Redemption

“That’s it?” Venom fills my mouth, and I fight back the words I want to share. “You left us to raise another family, one that you didn’t create. Because? Oh, yeah. Her kid needed you, but I didn’t at the age of three. I didn’t need food or water or electricity. I don’t need you now. I put myself through college, I work hard to have a home where there’s food and I’ll never have to bathe at school because there’s no water at home.”

Get the pitchfork. He’s damn well done. I stand, readying to leave when he brings me up short.

“I will never forgive myself for letting you down, sweetheart. At times, parents think they know what’s best, when clearly, they do not. Your mother was angry and bitter with reason, but I should’ve pushed to have visitation.”

This entire conversation has me exasperated. He’ll never admit how much he’s let me down or that by leaving, he changed my course in life.

“I understand not being able to forgive. I’m having a tough time with it myself. You left me with a lifetime of self-worth issues, not to mention my blatant trust issues. My self-esteem blown to fucking shreds because, hell, if your own Dad doesn’t love you, who in the hell will?” I knock tears away as fast as they fall.

“What I don’t understand is why now? What is your reason for being here? I know it can’t be your undying urge to your God-given right and privilege of being a parent. I’m not foolish enough to believe you want me after all these years. So, tell me, Dad, what brings you here?” Disdain drips from my words. Some may think, I’m a horrible person. Others may say I didn’t give him enough of what he deserved. I’m not sure of either because he’s my dad.

“There’s another reason I wanted to meet you. I need your help. I realize I’m asking a lot, but I can’t do this on my own. And there’s no way I can afford it.” He slides a file onto the table, his hand protecting it fiercely.

“What is it?” I frown as a heavy feeling builds in the bottom of my belly.

“Randy is in prison.” I roll my eyes at the karma working here. “He’s up for parole and although I promised his mom I would do my best to find him a good lawyer, he’s guilty as hell and I don’t feel as though he should get out. I need someone to represent him. I’m hoping you will.”

“I’m not sure what to say. I had hoped this would be a beginning for us, not free legal services,” I spit after the bile churning in my stomach becomes too much. Of course, he wants something. Not to be my father but to continue to be someone else’s.

“I understand anger, Reese. I’ve dealt with it all my life. From your mother, Randy and even Angie at times. If you don’t help, I’m fine with that and your decision. It still doesn’t mean I’m not trying here. You are important to me. You’re my only child. And you’ll always be my little girl.”

My chest tightens. I struggle to remain here, hearing him out, or to walk away. The latter is something he taught me.

“I’m not your little girl. I’m what’s left of the one you left behind. The one you left hungry, cold and with a multitude of self-loathing. I grew up knowing I wasn’t worth a man’s time because even my own father didn’t think I was worth it.”

A flash of bright pink catches my attention. My eyes flicker to a little girl holding her father’s hand as they enter the shop. My heart pangs with jealousy and need. That’s all I ever wanted, to have him hold my hand. Tears spring to my eyes just as he lays his hand over mine.

“I’m sorry.” Two words. A lifetime of hurt. One man. If fathers only knew the true impact they have on their daughters. They help shape and form our lives beyond childhood.

My ears fill with the pounding of my heart. The beating of the drum I’ve held so near to keep me marching forward begins to fade, replaced by a yearning to be his little girl.

“I’ll think about it. I can’t promise anything more. Thanks for reaching out.” I stand, readying to leave, when he knocks the breath out of me.

“I thank you, Reese. For being a better person than I ever was.” He touches my hand, giving it a tug, before letting it go.

And just like that, I walk away. Taking a play from his book, I never look back.

29

“Thanks for coming with me.”

“It’s all good. I don’t mind at all. If it wasn’t for you, my house would’ve never been built,” Riley says as we park. I could’ve come on my own but having him here is so much better. “Are they expecting you?”

“Are you fucking kidding?” He laughs with me, and we step from the truck. I know I’m about to shock the whole damn bunch, but I want the best and this is where one comes for that.

“This should be interesting.” He pats me on the shoulder as I open the door.

“Welcome to Woods Construction. Someone will be right with you.” A sweet voice reverberates from the other room.

We stand, stock-still, until we hear footsteps. I rub the back of my neck, trying to ease the building tension. She enters the room with her face in her phone but not for long. The surprised look on her face is apparent by the way her mouth hangs open. “Walker?” Thayer’s eyes dart to Riley. “Riley, hello.”

“I know I don’t have an appointment. I was hoping to see One, Hardy or Brannon.”

“Hardy and Brannon are on site. Let me see if One is free.” She smiles, still a little nervous. She turns into One’s office.

“So far, so good.” Riley quirks a brow.

“He’s ready for y’all.” Thayer jerks her thumb behind her.