Page 26 of Worthy of Sunsets and Second Chances

Hours later, I am laying alone in the ER after they took blood and did an uncomfortable pelvic exam.

A soft knock at the door is followed by the young male doctor that has been taking care of me.

I wrap my arms around myself, preparing for words I know are already coming. The look on his face is one I am very familiar with after spending years at my mother’s side, receiving bout after bout of bad news.

“I’m so sorry, Miss. Powell, you lost the pregnancy. With the bleeding you are experiencing and the hCG numbers in your blood less than two hundred, it’s not good news. For viability at eight weeks the number we hope to see should be around at least 31,000, almost 32,000. We can do an ultrasound tonight, or you can wait and do one with your own doctor at your follow-up appointment. What would you like to do?” he asks quietly.

“I’ll wait.” My voice sounds hollow, empty to my own ears. “Can I go home now?”

“Yes, let me just get your discharge paperwork. I’m very sorry.” He steps back out of the room, and I stare at the wall, hands cradling my empty, weeping womb.

20

Eli

The girls had their fun last weekend, but now it’s our turn. Rem insisted that we not do anything crazy for the bachelor party. Originally I wanted to fly to Vegas or Cabo for the weekend and go big, but that was immediately squashed by both him and Lainey. I guess it was a good thing those plans never happened because there is no way I would be able to up and leave now that I have Wren. And I wouldn’t want to. There is zero appeal to that kind of plan anymore to me at the moment, if ever. It was hard enough to leave her with my mom for the night. However, she reminded me that this was going to be good practice for when I go back to work.

Wren will spend a lot of time and a lot of nights with my mom at her house. Over the past couple of weeks she has set up my old room, which she was using as a guest room, into Wren’s new nursery. She got a crib from a friend, some cute girly mermaids and sea creature vinyl decals to decorate the blue walls and is thrilled at the idea of having so much time with her granddaughter. It’s also been decided that she wants her “grandma name” to be Marmee, an ode to her favorite character in Little Women.

“She is going to be fine, Eli! I have done this, remember? Multiple times.” My mom puts her hands on her hips for emphasis.

I hug Wren tighter to my chest, her little fist gripping my shirt. “I know, Mom. I just don’t want to leave her. I can skip the party. Do all parents feel like this?” I ask, feeling slightly panicked.

She smiles at me, eyes shimmering with emotion and pride. “The good ones. I’m so proud of you. Wren is very blessed to have you. You are doing a great job with her, honey. Your sisters told me about you not wanting to let them babysit her yet. You need to get out once in a while. And it is okay to leave her with me for a night, safe and sound, to go celebrate your best friend.”

“You’re right.” I give in.

“Of course I am!”

“You really don’t want to do anything else?” I ask Rem.

He’s laid back on the black padded table at Keller Shore’s station getting tattooed—a surprise for Lainey. He drew up a massive peony flower with crazy detail, all in shades of black and grey. Keller is making the vision come to life with his talent and needles, just like the rest of the ink on Rem’s body. This one takes up all the space over Rem’s heart. Appropriate.

Rem insisted that for his bachelor party we would come to Keller’s shop in Norfolk, get tattoos for any of the guys that wanted some, grab dinner and drinks afterward, and then call it a night. As his best man I just need to make sure he’s getting what he wants.

“Yeah, man. This is perfect. I have been meaning to surprise Lainey with this for a long time. She knew Keller was going to my bachelor party, so this was the best time to pull it all together. Plus the guys are having some work done too.” Rem nods to the room.

It’s true, several of the other guys are sprawled out in various positions throughout the shop being worked on by Keller’s business partner and their employees. They had closed down the shop today to regular business for our party.

“Are you sure you don’t want something?” Keller asks me with a smug grin, knowing I have virgin skin.

“Fuck no, I don’t do needles.”

Those assholes both start to laugh at me. Rem chirps up and says, “Come on, Eli, if the girls can handle it, I know you can too.”

“The girls?” I know that he drew up a really special tattoo for Lainey that Keller did, but who else is he talking about?

“I’ve tattooed Lainey, Sutton, and Kendra,” Keller states easily, his focus wholly on the flower he’s permanently placing on my best friend’s skin.

“What?” I say in disbelief. “When?”

“You’ve seen Lainey’s and Sut’s,” Rem says.

“Yeah, I forgot about Sutton’s. What other friends have gotten ink here? You must be thinking of someone else.”

“Sutton came in a few months ago to get her wing,” Keller says with a stoic sadness to his voice. “And Kendra, it’s been quite a few years? I can’t remember the date exactly, but trust me, man, I know who I tattoo.”

“That’s bullshit. There’s no way she’d let you tattoo her. She is afraid of needles like me.” I hate the idea of Keller touching Kendra more than I hate the idea of needles getting close to my own flesh. And the fact that I have never seen this tattoo when she’s had on a sundress or skimpy workout clothes means it would have to be in a more intimate area . . . and the idea of that makes me irrationally irate. I have zero claim over Kendra, but hearing this makes me feel like a wild animal, needing to mark its territory and fight off any lurking males.