Page 86 of Worthy of Sunsets and Second Chances

Wren squeals and kicks her feet excitedly, so Eli lays her on the blanket next to us where she promptly starts to roll around happily.

He stands up and puts his ornaments on the tree, then stares at them proudly. When Eli looks down at me it’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him my final secret, the last thing that is keeping me from fully moving forward and believing we can be happy together. Will he still feel the same once I tell him about our baby? Will he still look at me the way he is right now?

I’m not ready to find out. Not ready to ruin the magic of our first, and hopefully not our last, Christmas spent together.

“There’s my girl.” My dad bursts through the door with enthusiasm when I open it, his arms piled with gifts and a Santa hat on his head. I open my arms expecting him to come to me, but he heads directly to Wren after putting his gifts by the tree. She just woke up from her nap and is happily playing with one of her new toys on the floor with Eli.

He shakes Eli’s hand, and he pulls him up from the floor into a full hug, slapping him on the back and wishing him a Merry Christmas.

“It’s good to see you, Max,” Eli says.

“You too, son, you too,” Pop says, and Eli’s body stiffens slightly before he lets out a deep sigh.

“Uh, hello?” I say, feeling left out. “Am I invisible today?”

“Never! Merry Christmas, Kendra.” My dad scoops up Wren and brings her over to me for a group hug. “I missed both of my girls, but this little one can’t talk to me on the phone like you do.”

“That’s true,” I say. “Maybe we can be better about doing some FaceTimes.”

“I’d like that,” he says. Wren yanks off his Santa hat and starts teething on it, making him laugh and hug her close. They drop to the floor and start playing with her toys.

Eli comes up to me and kisses my temple. “I thought you said he didn’t really enjoy the holidays?”

“This is the happiest I’ve seen him on Christmas since before my mom died,” I admit.

“Hmmmm,” Eli hums into my hair. “I think we have many more happy family holidays in our future, don’t you?”

“I hope so,” I whisper, heart throbbing in my chest.

66

Eli

There is still a wall. I can feel it. Even after everything that happened at Christmastime and me telling Kendra that we didn’t need to have children of our own, the relief she felt in that conversation . . . I can still feel a distance between us.

Maybe she doesn’t believe that I am all in? That I can really commit to a relationship because I have never had one in the past? Is this where my fuckboy lifestyle comes back around and bites me in the ass again?

I need to do something big like the guys at the station suggested, a grand gesture to prove to her that I am committed to her, but I just haven’t decided on what to do yet.

A text pings as I slowly creep out of Wren’s room, praying she won’t wake up after I carefully placed her in her crib and tiptoed out of there like a ninja.

Fuck. I freeze and listen at the door, squeezing my phone tightly, hoping it won’t go off again, like that will stop the sound. Mentally I kick myself for not putting it on silent.

I check the baby monitor and Wren is fast asleep. She already rolled over to her favorite sleeping position—snuggled in a ball, tiny butt up in the air. She is so little and sweet, it makes me want to go back in and scoop her up, let her nap on me while we rock . . . but I also need to get laundry started and a workout done while she sleeps. I hurry to my bedroom to change and make use of my limited time.

In the kitchen I remember the text and finally check my phone.

Kendra: Hey

Eli: Hi, sweetheart How’s work going?

Kendra: It’s fine. Just two more clients for the day.

Eli: That’s good. I miss you.

Eli: What do you want to do for dinner later?

Kendra: Actually, do you think it would be okay if Lainey and Rem watched Wren so we can talk?