Page 2 of Finding Home

“Wait, I’m coming,” I shout when she doesn’t seem to notice me.

The flight attendant smiles as I hurry on board. “Cutting it close aren’t you, hun.” Her smile is so warm and caring, I nearly burst into tears. Somehow, I hold on to my composure, although I know my lips are wobbling as I make my way to my seat. Thankfully, I don’t have much to juggle as I get seated. All I have is my backpack and purse. Everything else was checked or shipped last weekend, and hopefully waiting for me at my cousin's apartment.

The flight attendants are doing their final checks and their little safety spiel as I get settled. Not wanting to listen to them, I pop my AirPods into my ears and open my e-reader. The words on the screen blur as the plane begins to taxi away from the gate. Gulping in a big breath, I close my eyes, resting my hand on my flat stomach, whispering to the little life growing in me.

“It’s just you and me, little one. I don’t know how, but I promise I will take care of you, and I love you already. We will be okay.” This last bit is more for me than the baby, but important all the same.

The lady beside me eyes me curiously, and I worry she might ask me what's wrong, and there is no way I will be able to speak without sobbing, so I avoid eye contact. Eventually, she settles with her neck pillow and falls asleep, snoring lightly. Relieved that she isn’t the prying sort, and now fast asleep, I finally allow my brain to process everything that happened to get me here.

Curtis Jones. I had seen him around town growing up since our families ran in the same circles, but he was five years older than me and didn’t know I existed. Meeting this summer had been a movie kind of meet cute. We literally crashed into one another, him spilling coffee all over my shirt and insisting he make it up to me.

I was blinded by his smile and charm and went along with everything he said. We snuck around, at his insistence that he wasn’t allowed to date right now. Sneaking around felt exhilarating and naughty. I had never done anything bad in my life. I was the perfect daughter, projecting the perfect image my parents insisted on. So, all of this felt new and exciting, and like I was finally taking control of what I wanted in life.

All of it clouded my vision to the point that when he took me to a shitty motel, I handed over my virginity on a silver platter like he was Prince Charming.

Damn, I was a naive idiot. Prince Charming wouldn’t force you to sneak around for months.

Prince Charming wouldn’t refuse to wear a condom, because he “doesn’t like the way they feel” while you beg him to.

Prince Charming wouldn’t turn on you when the consequences of HIS actions created a baby.

Prince Charming, fuck, Prince Charming isn’t real, and if he were, Curtis sure as hell wasn’t him.

I’m jostled back to reality as Ms. Snorer shifts in her seat, her leg colliding with mine. I laugh sardonically at how stupid I had been, and how blindly I had followed Curtis, just like he wanted.

Chapter 3

Harper

By some miracle, I make it through the first leg of my journey without my seatmate asking any questions or crying hysterically like a loon. After a short layover in Denver, I board my second and final flight that will take me to Portland. It has been a long and lonely day of travel, giving me way too much time to think and replay how my life had gone to complete shit overnight.

As my thoughts begin to spiral, and anxiety and grief start to clog my throat, I give myself a mental shake down. This perpetual rehashing of what happened is doing me no good. Pulling out my laptop, I open the spreadsheet I’ve been working on. Realizing I’m on my own for the first time, I sat down and made a list of the funds in my bank account, and what I thought I would need to start over in Oregon. The orderly task is calming and gives me a sense of control over something, when everything else is swirling around me like a tempest.

My cousin, Cassidy, who everyone except her mom calls Cass, told me I could crash with her as long as I wanted, but I don’t want to impose. She lives with a roommate, Quinn, and their place is only two bedrooms with a tiny den, which will be my room. There is no way they’ll still feel that way in eight months when I bring home a screaming baby. After reviewing my numbers, I fire up Google and start looking at apartments. I may have been a stupid naive princess when I met Curtis, but naivete was a luxury I could no longer afford.

It was time for me to focus on the future and be the best mom to the little peanut inside me that I could be. I would make damn sure my child never wondered if they were loved. They would never feel like they were only here to further their parents’ good image. No. Things would be different for my child. Thanks to Mrs. Jones's parting gift—cough, cough, payoff—to make me disappear, I had enough to cover rent for a good while, until I found a job, at least. Then hopefully, the rest could be set aside for raising my kid.

I’m so engrossed in my research and information gathering that time flies by, and before I know it, the fasten seatbelt signs are on as we’re making our final descent. As soon as I step off the plane, I spot Cass. She’s holding a big sign with my name on it. Her riotous hair, all tight curls and wildness that never could be contained, is tied back with a scarf, in an attempt to wrangle it into submission. Auburn springy curls frame her face, bouncing as she hops up and down to get my attention. As if I could miss her! Aw, I love that dork.

I rush into her waiting arms, gripping her hard. She envelops me, pulling in tight, and I melt into her warm embrace. The tears I had been working so hard to control break loose, and I ugly cry in Cass’s arms. Being “that girl” in Oregon instead of Maine, go me. People are staring, but she doesn’t miss a beat, just holds me tight. When the tears slow, she gently cups my face, lifting it so we are looking at each other.

“You. Can. Do. This.” She nods with conviction before continuing, “Take it from the wayward black sheep of the family. Everything will work out, and once you get your legs back under you, you will see you are much better off.”

Cass is five years older than me. We grew up seeing each other all the time. Our moms are sisters who spent all their time together. As soon as she graduated, she said screw the rules and patriarchy of our family and took off. She bounced around for a few years, eventually landing in Portland after she graduated from college. We kept in touch over the years through social media. She never visits but has calls with her mom once a month to catch up. According to Aunt Kay, she barely shares anything about her life and finds any excuse to miss the call.

Looping her arm around my shoulder, Cass guides me toward baggage claim. As we approach, I spot her roommate Quinn waiting for us. I hadn’t even known she was here but probably should have. If their social media accounts are at all accurate representations of their lives, they are joined at the hip and rarely apart for any length of time.

“Harper, this is Quinn. Quinn, this is Harper!” Cass chirps merrily. I’ve said hi to Quinn a few times over phone calls, but it’s our first official introduction.

“Nice to finally meet you, Harper. Cass has told me so much about you!” Her wide smile is completely genuine. I’ve seen pictures of Quinn, of course, but they did not do her justice. She is gorgeous. Her long brown hair frames her slightly oval face, drawing your attention to her hazel eyes, and the most stunning dark lashes I have ever seen. A dusting of freckles dots the bridge of her nose and cheeks that just enhance her beauty. She’s a few inches taller than Cass, who is short like me, but what hits me the most is the natural warmth and calm she carries with her, setting me at ease.

“Oh, yeah. My mom was on a roll over your 'unfortunate predicament.'" Cass does a banger of an impersonation of my aunt, and I laugh for the first time in far too long.

Rolling my eyes, I huff out a breath. “Oh, I’m sure. She and my mom discussed at length my many faults in this debacle, and they got more over the top with each bottle of wine they consumed. It was really quite impressive what they put away.”

I spot my bags, Quinn and Cass insisting they pull them off the belt, stating I shouldn’t be lifting in my condition. We step out of the airport and I get my first look at Portland. I gasp at the sight of snowcapped mountains in the distance, so pretty and the perfect greeting. Placing a protective hand over my belly, I breathe in the air, embracing my new home. Quinn walks a few steps ahead, giving Cass and me time to talk as we make our way to the parking structure.

“Now, Mom only gave me the bare minimum of details, and no names, which is odd. I mean, that woman loves nothing more than to spill the tea, so I figured whoever knocked you up must be pretty bad.”