Page 30 of Finding Home

“Can I help, Lizzie?” I call softly from the edge of the rug. She nods vigorously, making her hair flop in her face. She pushes it out of the way roughly as she smiles up at me. Studying the remote, I finally get the TV on. She climbs off the couch and points to an icon on the screen. Several Sofia the First movies pop up. She points excitedly to one, and as soon as it starts, she runs back to the couch, clambering onto my lap, and my heart melts.

We get through one episode before she takes me by the hand and leads me to the kitchen. Under her direction, I find cereal, bowls, and spoons. She happily munches on her cereal with no milk. I learned quickly that she was not okay with milk when I poured it on, and she pointed at it with a string of gibberish flying from her mouth, while she frowned at the bowl like it had personally offended her. On my second attempt, I put the milk in a cup and dry cereal in a bowl; this earned me a high five.

After breakfast, Lizzie runs to her room, returning in a purple poofy dress that looks very similar to the princess on the TV screen. She hands me a brush and hair bands with a purple ribbon. Panic sets in, I have no idea how to do hair, but here goes nothing. Working through the tangles will take a while, so I set her up in front of the TV and get to work. Lizzie is not shy in letting me know when I pull too hard.

Tink eyes me each time I do, like she’s judging me and knows even she could do a better job. Once the brush is moving smoothly through her hair, I attempt a ponytail. It’s high and leaves her pony flopping all over. Her giggles fill the air as she runs to the bathroom and looks in the mirror. Apparently, she likes it enough. Handing me the ribbon, I tie a bow, then watch her twirl, her head swirling so her ponytail bobs all over.

After more directions, she has me turn on a Sofia the First sing-along video. An impromptu dance party ensues and even Tink joins in the revelry. The moment feels surreal. Has it really only been a few months since I met Harper and Lizzie? Everything about this relationship has come so naturally, been so organic that it feels like we have always been together, like we have always been a unit. I watch the little girl clutching my fingers, and in that moment, I know this is all I will ever want—us.

Chapter 22

Harper

Feeling groggy as hell, I peel myself out of bed. Jace isn’t there, and I have a little pang of worry that he might have left. Then I hear the TV and Lizzie’s laughter from the living room, and I already know I was crazy to even wonder, of course Jace is still here. Hurriedly, I grab the first things in my drawers, black yoga pants, and a cropped sweatshirt, throwing them on, not even bothering with under clothes.

Quietly, I open my bedroom door, and fresh tears blur my vision. Jace and Lizzie dance hand in hand. Every few seconds, he lets go with one hand and spins Lizzie. Each time, her head falls back and she giggles, staring up at him like he hung the moon. My heart clenches, cause I’m pretty sure that’s the same look I have on my face right now. God, please, don’t let this all blow up in my face. I’m spotted a few seconds later. Jace’s wide smile softens when he sees me, and hope surges through me at the depth of feeling I see reflected in his eyes.

“Did someone start a dance party without me?” I call, Lizzie hops up and down before racing to me, her bare feet smacking on the wood beneath them. A sound I’ve heard a million times but brings so much joy in this moment as I reflect on how empty the house would be without it. Swinging her into my arms, I kiss her cheeks repeatedly until she squeals and returns the kisses, leaving my cheeks wet and hurting from smiling so hard.

Holding my baby grounds me a bit, and I’m finally able to raise my face to Jace. His eyes search mine, and apparently, he is happy with what he sees because he smiles, gives me a curt nod, then heads into the kitchen. I can hear him getting a plate out and am about to follow him when my face is struck with a hair whip. Lizzie cracks up at my shocked reaction, then whips her head again, making the ponytail swing all over. That’s when I finally notice that her hair is up, and not down like I left it last night. Lizzie catches me looking at it and pats her head smiling.

“I did my best.” Jace is in the doorway to the kitchen with a coffee in one hand and a plate of pastries in the other. He looks so sheepish, and his cheeks go pink beneath all the scruff as he sets the plate on the table.

A lump is firmly lodged in my throat. I swallow hard, blinking away the tears in my eyes. Lizzie squirms out of my hold, running back to her toys on the rug. I watch her as Jace comes up behind me, encircling my waist with his hands. I lean back into his large warm frame, letting him take my weight.

“Come on, it’s not that bad, is it?” His words are soft, but I can hear the laughter in it. Tilting my head back to look at him, I pop up on my toes and steal a kiss.

“I can’t thank you enough, Jace.” He squeezes me, and I know I don’t need to say anything else. We stand wrapped up in each other for another minute, watching Lizzie before he steers me to the table.

“Bree’s been by, huh?” I smile as I recognize all my favorites on the plate.

“She dropped them off earlier, saying she would stop by later this morning.” Jace kisses the side of my head as he sits beside me with his leg pressed against mine. For so many years, I have received little to no physical touch like this, and I could definitely get used to it. It’s like he has opened the flood gates to needs that I buried so deep I’d forgotten I had them. I find myself craving more of his touch and the way it calms my nerves, recharging me.

“Bree should be here soon, and as much as I don’t want to leave, I need to change my clothes and feed Tink.”

“Go, you have done so much for us. Go take care of you.” I give him a playful push, then follow him to the door. He stops in the open doorway, calling Tink who is seated next to Lizzie. Lingering in the door, he watches Lizzie for a second before turning his full attention to me. His piercing blue eyes are suddenly full of heat. He pulls me through the doorway and out of sight of Lizzie, then kisses me. I surrender to it, to the kiss, his touch, him. I’m lifted off my feet, and I wrap my legs around him, squeezing him close. Bracing me with one hand, the other snakes up the back of my sweatshirt. I know the second he realizes I’m not wearing a bra. His hand freezes and he groans into my mouth.

“Want to know a secret?” I speak against his lips, between delicious kisses. “I’m not wearing anything under my leggings either.” He growls, pinning me to the house, and I grind against him as his hand finds my breast. I’m on fire, seconds from begging, legit begging him to come back inside, when I hear a cough behind him.

“Should I come back later?” Bree’s voice is full of laughter.

We untangle from each other, both breathing hard. “I’ll call you later, babe.” Jace gives me a quick kiss then bounds down the stairs and to his truck, sending a wave at Bree.

“Here I was worried you might need extra company today,” she quips as Jace pulls out of the drive. “But it appears you were in good hands.”

“Your timing is flawless, as always, bestie.” I grin, throwing my arm over her shoulders and steering her toward the house.

I take the rest of the week off work and keep Lizzie home with me. Just the thought of her being out of my line of sight sends waves of panic through my system. Jace has been so attentive, calling and texting throughout the day, making sure we have everything we need. Lizzie is over being shut in. She has packed her backpack and gone to the door the last two mornings. With more than a little trepidation, I write on the calendar school under Monday and show her. It seems to appease her. If I’m being honest, I know we both need to get out of the house, and I need to let her be with someone beside me for an evening.

Jace hasn’t mentioned our date that we had planned for tomorrow. He likely thinks I won’t go. Based on the last week, I can’t blame him, but this morning, I woke up knowing both Lizzie and I need to move on. I scheduled a call with my therapist and talked through everything. The anxiety is far from gone, but I’m accepting that, and choosing to live in spite of it. First step, going on a date tomorrow. Picking up my phone, I stare at Jace’s name, debating whether to call or text when I hear a knock at the door, followed by a happy yip.

“T, T,” Lizzie screams her version of Tink, racing to the door. I help her with the upper lock then step back so she can open the door.

“Hey, munchkin! How are you?” Jace is squatting down to let Lizzie rub his face. She’s obsessed with the feel of his stubble. My heart feels like it could burst watching them interact. He’s so natural with her, and she adores him, and of course, Tink is always the star.

“And how are you?” he asks, standing in front of me.

“I’m good. Want to come in?” I motion behind me and he follows. “I must have manifested you this morning,” I call over my shoulder, leading us to the sunroom. It’s a bit chilly but I want a little privacy with him. “I had just picked up my phone to call you.”