Page 63 of Quiver

“Wow.” Bex’s grin stretched her cheeks all the way up to her ears. “I can’t believe you know a movie star well enough to just call her Kylie.”

“Everyone used to call her Kylie. No one else called her Kye until … you know what? Never mind. You have to get to work and so do I.”

“Right.” Bex patted her shoulder, then gave Ava another quick kiss. “I’ll see you both for dinner tonight?”

“You know it,” Ava said sweetly.

Fletcher nodded and did her best not to turn around when she heard Winston’s hoofbeats pick up speed again. She had plenty of other things to demand her attention, and even though she could feel Ava’s gaze on her, she refused to meet it, instead heading toward Gabrielle’s stall.

Ava refused to take the hint and followed her. “So, you two haven’t talked yet?”

“About what?”

“Anything?”

She turned to face her, only because refusing to meet her eyes would be a sign of weakness or at least uncertainty, and she got enough of that around Kylie. She didn’t need to shrink from another ex. “Why does everybody keep asking me stuff like that? Not everyone needs to talk things to death.”

“Okay.” Ava pursed her lips and tried to force them into something resembling a smile, even though she clearly had more to say on the subject, which was probably the first time she and Kylie were of one mind. They both seemed to believe she needed an emotional bloodletting or breakthrough when she really needed everyone to leave her be. It wasn’t that a part of her didn’t ache for some sort of catharsis, but no such option existed where Kylie was concerned. Even if they could somehow find their way back to the easy way they’d always related to each other, what would be the point? It would all fall apart again in a few weeks, and God only knew what kind of damage Kylie would inflict on her heart and mind in the meantime. If last Saturday proved anything, it was that neither of them had any approximation of moderation where the other was concerned.

She shook her head.

“What?” Ava pressed gently.

“It’s all or nothing with Kylie, and even that’s a false choice, because she’s always the one who does the deciding.”

“But there is something there.”

She sighed, unwilling to either concede or deny. “Nothing worth digging up old skeletons for. I like my life. I like my home. I like my job. It’s enough for me.”

She didn’t mention the moments when she might have let herself wish for more, because even the all-or-nothing equations failed to take into account one key fact. No matter how strongly she’d felt in a few moments or how much of herself she may offer, she’d never truly possessed any part of Kylie, and she remembered the pain of losing something that hadn’t been hers in the first place.

“You’re doing great,” Fletcher called in a way that confused all of Kylie’s senses. The words were nice, but the tone sounded gruff, almost resentful. She slowed Winston from a trot to a walk and picked up the reins as she lowered the bow. Her movements were more fluid now, and she didn’t have to think about each one individually, which was damn good, because she had plenty of things vying for the chance to rattle her brain.

“You’re steering better with your thi—um”—Fletcher cut herself off and looked away before continuing—“your lower body.”

It wasn’t the first time Fletcher had stopped mid-sentence and searched for a word. Kylie almost got the sense she was working extra hard not to notice her in any direct fashion. Similar interactions had permeated their work time throughout the week, but today seemed worse than all the others combined, and she suspected it was the reminder of what had happened both before and after last week’s group lesson, or maybe Ava’s arrival amplified the disconnect. Either way, Kylie tried to go easy on her. “Do you need to set up for the lesson group now?”

“Yeah. I have to lug out a bunch of saddles and barrels today.”

“I can help.”

Fletcher shook her head. “You and Winston should take a break. Or, if you want, you can introduce each of the kids to Gabrielle as they come in so she gets a better sense of who she’ll be around today.”

It wasn’t lost on her that Fletcher’s suggestion put them as far apart as possible. She might’ve even found the transparency of such a request amusing if not for the subtle sting every time she remembered the reaction stemmed from Fletcher’s repulsion at the fact that they’d had sex. Still, as Ava wandered back in from the barn with her arms full of equipment, Kylie realized now wasn’t the time to broach the subject again. She pulled on her professional training to school her expression. “Hi, Ava. How are you doing?”

“I’m great. I’d ask the same of you, but Fletcher says you’re making fantastic progress.”

She stifled the urge to make a shitty comment about Fletcher choosing to make such a declaration to Ava rather than her, and instead said, “That’s nice to hear. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Ava’s smile appeared slightly nervous, as if waiting for the other shoe to drop, and Kylie couldn’t blame her, but she was trying to be nicer. She wondered if Fletcher even noticed as she’d begun pulling Kylie’s arrows from the target.

She dismounted and managed to hop down to the ground with only a slight creak and grunt. “How’d I do today, coach?”

Fletcher nodded. “Better.”

“Not the exuberant reaction I’m hoping to inspire, but someone recently told me to accept compliments where I can get them.”

“Sounds like a smart person.” Fletcher’s tone remained droll, but one corner of her mouth twitched up.